Adopting in Thailand

[Stumpy]

Any one gone through this process?

So some history behind my inquiry. I have raised 2 wonderful daughters back in the states. They are both married, in professional careers and on their way as I have posted a few pics and comments about it. That said, my wife and I have had a few discussions about adopting here. We both know that we can offer a nice opportunity for a young child and enjoy rearing a young'en. Now with me retiring I can have ample free time to enjoy it. My wife and I agree that we do not plan on traveling much as we have set up camp here and quite enjoy our lives albeit we have discussed moving to Sicily. At this juncture I am open to the discussion of adopting.

Anyone done that here?

Oh and before anyone asks, My wife and I cannot have children. I had a vasectomy years back and my wife had some medical issues early in her life that put having a child at her risk.

[cyrille]

If you do that then you're not going to settle in Sicily.

Sounds like a great idea though.

Why turn your back on a good thing.

[helge]

How old are you ?

[Stumpy]

If you do that then you're not going to settle in Sicily.

Sounds like a great idea though.

Why turn your back on a good thing.

Yeah I think my wife and I need to settle the discussion about moving to Sicily. I have to say Cyrille, My life here in Thailand is pretty hard to beat and while moving sounds nice, it may not be such a good plan. So over the last few months we have had a lot of friends and family drop by and many have 5 to 7 year old children. They always seem to want to talk to me and learn English and want to learn how to swim etc. My wife made the comment that I would be a good Pop here. Also to consider, we have this place and no one to pass it on to.

How old are you ?

60

[Edmond]

Sounds like a good thing to do with many, many aspects to research and consider.

My uncle was a career executive, had 2 kids early, remarried, had 2 kids with new wife, then around 15 years later after a miscarriage they went to Vietnam and ended up adopting twins. That have now just graduated from uni.

There were a lot of legal hoops to jump through. I imagine there'd be less here, but also a lot of things to be wary of, and an extra need to make sure everything is above board.

If you do that then you're not going to settle in Sicily.

Why, is there a legal issue about raising them outside of Thailand?

Them being naturally trilingual - Thai, English and Italian would give them an amazing leg up in life.

How old are you ?

That would be something to consider, in terms of something happening unexpectedly and the kid being left needing to be adopted again at age 10. I believe Stump's wife is more than a decade younger than him, so that's less of an issue than both adoptive parents being 60+.

If not planning to move near to where the grandkids will live and grow up, why not. Though of course schooling would be an issue, I never looked but doubt there's an international school within commuting distance of Lampang. If happy with the best school Lampang has, why not.

When my kid goes to uni we'll get a Labrador.

[helge]

60

Not ideal, but then again.

My wife made the comment that I would be a good Pop here.

I'm sure you would

Does your wife have ....a child in mind already ?

[Stumpy]

Why, is there a legal issue about raising them outside of Thailand?

The options are open. One thing I can do is apply for the child to be a US citizen which has some perks for sure. Learning multiple languages is always a plus. Funny in that my Dogs understand Thai, English and Italian.

I never looked but doubt there's an international school within commuting distance of Lampang. If happy with the best school Lampang has, why not.

On thing about this location, they have pretty good schools and in Lampang City they have an international University as my niece who moved in with us from BKK for a year or so went there. Of course you always have CM nearby. I think there are some near term s and long term discussion that need to be considered most certainly. My wife is 10 years younger than me but is a wonderful caring easy going woman. She gets such a smile on her face when little kids come by the place and she can show them things and then she sees them migrate towards me to ask a lot of questions.

[cyrille]

Why?

Being 60.

A Thai kid in Sicily... 15 years old when his parents are 65-70?

Compared to life as it is for the two / three of them?

Nah. Lampang every time.

[Stumpy]

'm sure you would

Does your wife have ....a child in mind already ?

No.... Not at all. I am pretty confident she would want a daughter which I am OK with being I had 2 in the states. Me being 60 and my wife being 50 is not a huge issue I believe. Of course in Thailand, there is always those stereotypes and stares but nothing that can't be overcome especially since we are entrenched in the local community and we know many folks. I have been asked on a few occasions to come to the English classes and speak with the children. I have enjoyed it and I enjoy it even more when I see them in town and they run up and say Hello.

[Stumpy]

Why?

Being 60.

A Thai kid in Sicily when pushing 70?

Compared to life as it is for the two / three of them?

Nah.

All good points Cyrille. Many of my distant relatives are much older with young children. I get update pics from my uncle there. Age really is just a number in the big picture, its all about your personal make up as an individual. I could move anywhere and 10 years from now who knows. I know my Uncle has been pretty happy that we might move there but he has seen pics of our place and asked if he could move in. HAHAHAHA

[helge]

she would want a daughter

I can understand that. Are we talking toddlers here or 5-7 years old ?

Bringing up a boy, that isn't kept on a leach, could be a challenge in Thailand.

A lot of "bad mates" around.

And with that comes the worries for ...Stumpy.


But go for it, when you have thought it over.

A win win

(sure your wife hasn't got one in mind ? )

[malmomike77]

Good luck to you both

Bringing up a boy, that isn't kept on a leach, could be a challenge in Thailand.

A lot of "bad mates" around.

And with that comes the worries for ...Stumpy.

i don't think thailand is significantly worse than other countries, i think it very much depends on how the child is raised.

JPPR has your dad decided on whether or not to make the move to live with you?

[malmomike77]

The former Thaivisa has a few threads on the subject

[Stumpy]

Good luck to you both

Thanks Mike. It is an open ongoing discussion. Nothing hard set. Just polling to ask if anyone had done it or the thoughts about it. As for Pops moving over I think it is still an unknown. My younger brother thinks its a bad idea and fill his ears with it. Him moving here would be pretty cake walk and would enjoy it.

@ helge, we are talking about in infant and likely a girl.

[cyrille]

Sounds like you'd have a great time together watching NFL.

I'm all for people watching that in the privacy of their own homes.

[nidhogg]

Cannot give a lot as i do not have a lot of details, but fwiw, a European colleague with a europen wife adopted two Thai kids (no idea if babies, toddlers or older). Got them the passport of the country he was from and moved back there permanantly. Did it in two rounds of adoption and I believe her went a strictly legal way about it.

[DrWilly]

A friend of mine adopted a Thai girl. They now live in Beijing, on Australian passports. It’s a relatively straightforward process from what I recall. But I’m happy to ask.

[Topper]

I have been asked on a few occasions to come to the English classes and speak with the children. I have enjoyed it and I enjoy it even more when I see them in town and they run up and say Hello.

Keep doing that!!!!!!!!! It will give you the contact you desire with kids, it will help improve their lives and you'll have the room to step back if you need to from the commitment.

[malmomike77]

^ I get the impression the JPPRs lady has a say in this too.

[Pragmatic]

Prior to coming to Thailand I'd had a vasectomy so kids were out of the question or so I thought. The only way we, me and the wife, could have a family was to adopt. So me and the wife went to BKK to the government adoption agency. They put so many obstacles into the process that we gave up on that.
At a later date I bumped into a Aussie who had been through a course of IVF and had a son using his sister in law as a surrogate because his wife was too old. He told me to stop what we were doing and go to the Nawabutr Clinic in BKK. This was the clinic he'd used. Keeping a long story short we undertook IVF treatment and they collected 14 fertilized eggs. First go at IVF produced a daughter. Second attempt produced twins, boy/girl . Thank god we never adopted I'm sorry to say. The process is far too difficult .

[Stumpy]

Well an update on this. Again this hasn't been a whim discussion but an ongoing on and off so I have been talking to friends in the US for opinions and thought I would solicit feedback from you guys and gals on TD.

Anyway wife and I had a good 3 hour discussion about it last night. We looked at the process to adopt, considered various other factors and have decided not to proceed. The primary reason is our current ages. While 60 and 50 isn't old now, we considered how old we would be when the child was 15, 20 and older. By then we would be too old ( assuming I even live that long). There was no worries on the financial aspect nor the family care but it's just not the right timing wise.

My Pop moving here and us to Sicily later are still in the works. But for now, life is great here and we enjoy it being quiet and relaxing.

Thanks again for all the feedback and responses. My daughters were actually excited we might adopt as they would have a younger sister but they understood.

[PAG]

^

Entirely understandable and sensible. Rather than parenting through adoption, I guess you could research the potential of child education sponsorship, not in a general charity sense, but perhaps a specific child and their development and having an actual relationship without long term commitment.

[PAG]

^

Entirely understandable and sensible. Rather than parenting through adoption, I guess you could research the potential of child education sponsorship, not in a general charity sense, but perhaps a specific child and their development and having an actual relationship without long term commitment.

I've quoted my own post rather than editing, but found this to be quite interesting, particularly as centred around Northern Thailand.

Sponsorship — Borderless Friendship Foundation

[Edmond]

Understandable.

You have also mentioned a niece, that is early 20s-ish, that comes to stay and take care of the place while ye're away etc. Her being given the role of 'aunty' as the kid goes through their teenage years and becoming more of an immediate family member might work, with the wills being changed so that all Thai property and assets are split evenly between the daughter and niece, might be an aspect to consider with her. Making it a bit more of an all round family affair, with you, wife, niece and her future husband and family also involved to a degree.


My uncle early 70s, his sons early 30s, and adopted Vietnamese twins, adopted as infants and this was around their graduation.



Both now graduated from uni.

With I dare say a better life and future than being left to grow up in a Vietnamese orphanage.

[MarilynMonroe]

Anyway wife and I had a good 3 hour discussion about it last night. We looked at the process to adopt, considered various other factors and have decided not to proceed. The primary reason is our current ages. While 60 and 50 isn't old now, we considered how old we would be when the child was 15, 20 and older. By then we would be too old ( assuming I even live that long). There was no worries on the financial aspect nor the family care but it's just not the right timing wise.

It is understandable for you to feel too old to adopt an infant.. but, what about adopting a bit of an older child between 5-10 years old? Would that be too old for you? Children age 5 and 6 are just learning to speak English and are like a little sponge.

Another option could be volunteering at a local school, as I'm sure there are local schools that would appreciate a volunteer a few days a week or so. You could help local children with their English. Good luck, I think it is a great idea. I'm sure there are also orphanages around that would appreciate a volunteer as well.