Asia Bugle

[dirtydog]

Scuttlebut

Ain’t No Sunshine When it Don’t Rain!
I keep saying the rainy season has arrived but it has not really kicked in yet in Bangkok. There have been a few quick storms but nothing like the rainfall required. As I report later, Pattaya is now at crisis point lacking a proper water supply. It had better be a big rainy season or expect more and more water problems.

Last time I indicated that some Nana Plaza gogos are losing out badly to the new Rainbows. One owner tried to tell me that I was wrong and that it is just business that is down! My eyes tell me otherwise and some of the traditional high flyers are not doing very well. Compare that to Rainbow 1 that did 80 bar fines last Friday.
The reasons I am given for the movement of the business is that the Rainbows are paying much more money to dancers than the others, and thus luring the good girls away. The interesting point about that is that Rainbows are still charging slightly less for a beer than say the Crown Group. But I do not think that is the main issue - it is value for money. Angelwitch continue to dominate with well thought out shows. And their prices are in line with the top priced ‘groups’.
Anyway G Spot, and some of the other Crown Group gogos, have come out fighting. It is not exactly subtle and certainly lacks the thought that goes into other shows both in Plaza and in Cowboy, but give two pairs of girls a few bottles of beer and tell them to get their gear off and then get down and dirty and hey you have a show! That is what was happening in G Spot on Friday. The door staff were keeping a close eye on who was around the plaza but at least some of the cops must know what is happening. So we will soon find out if things are lightening up in the Plaza as seems to be the case in Cowboy. If a Crown Group bar is not busted in the next few weeks and the shows continue, expect others to follow!
One bar that has already taken the initiative is Erotica. They now have little girls in school kit dancing on their glass ceiling, a la Baccara. There is also a little exposure of normally covered body parts.
Bill the new manager of Hollywood Strip (2nd Floor) tells me he has great plans for this bar now that he is charge. A more hip dance bar was the gist I got. I just hope the pathetic attempt at a show I saw last night is not part of it. That show was a good reason to never go near the place again and there was certainly no showing, unless you call an aging tart waving a dildo a show!
All this showing and poaching of girls means one thing - dancers in Nana Plaza have never had it so good! And I know well what the next cry is going to be: ‘prices have to go up.’ But why? In Patpong it is still 90 Baht for a beer, and the rents in Patpong are higher than Nana Plaza!

Deja Vu, formerly Cats, opened at the beginning of the month in Soi Cowboy and immediately fell foul of the plod. Problem was they were caught showing without having made a suitable arrangement. Almost inevitably they were busted and when told they would be closed for 30 days, immediately started protesting: too loudly. Okay said the Old Bill if you do not understand then you had better close for 60 days! And that is how it has stayed. This is the same mob that own Spicey Girls and I get the feeling that through total ignorance and probably a lot of stupidity, this guy is going to cause all kinds of problems in Soi Cowboy.

I was in the Mehmaan Indian Restaurant that is part owned by the Crown Group and noticed a sign referring to a couple of special dishes, that says: "If you do not appreciate them, it is a reflection of your own ignorance not the culinary skills of our expert chef."
Well we already know what the highest skill of the Crown group is: arrogance. This just confirms it. And as to the food - good but not that good. But the service is like the sign, since the new manager is a pretentious idiot who knows damn all! Bring back the Indians who at least had manners! Pity because it ain't a bad dyno rod!
But on another menu note I was amused to see a certain Soi Langsuan restaurant was serving "Forest fruit berry crape's served with zabaglione ice cream." Something to do with bears, I presume.

Drink driving is emerging as an issue closer to home. A Bangkok-based expat was getting into his car when the plod appeared and suggested that he had been drinking. They insisted he pay a 4,000 Baht fine on the spot and forbade him from driving home. He was told if he did drive off, they would have him stopped and then he would go to court and get a substantial fine plus community service. I expect they are still helping drunks back on their motorbikes in Samui but certainly in Bangkok and Pattaya, where one three-time offender got deported, it may be an idea to think again before you drink and drive.

Last time Nightmarch wrote about an incident with the US Navy shore patrol and a reference to the Buddy system. I received this mail from a US service member who quite often sends me comments. He asked to remain anonymous!
The Buddy system is in affect for all military members in most countries in Asia and throughout the world. Most of the rules are for the younger crowd to make sure these young bucks don't get lost and forget to come back to base. Military members tend to drink way beyond their ability and being with a buddy makes sure these guys don't end up falling asleep in a gutter. This also somewhat protects them from the common thieves, not just in Thailand but in all countries we visit where its more likely that these people will take advantage of us drunk Americans while we are alone, not when we are surrounded by fellow service members. We are usually targets becuase of the large amount of money we carry with us, most have 5,000 baht + when we leave base.
This once happened to me in front of Nana Plaza, got pick-pocketed by a young women, or was it a young man dressed as a women, when I was three sheets to the wind... didn't lose much but it might not of happened if I wasn't alone.
If these young men do want to get married for the night and get divorced the next morning most will go to a hotel that is close to the bar and take care of "business" while the other waits for him to return.

We have produced some new polo shirts. They have the Baron’s logo (Horse image + never knowingly PC) on the front pocket. On the back there are 3 versions: one plain, one says: Foxes were made for hunting and the other says: Women should be pampered not heard. You can see photo and they will soon be available on line at Asiabugle.com (shop). The shirts are available now in Bangkok at Lucky Lukes (Nana Plaza) and the Old Dutch (Cowboy) and will soon be available elsewhere in Thailand and nearby countries. Two sizes are available XXL and XXXXL Price in Thailand 275 Baht.

Thinglish.com has some new opinions on it where the Professor has been looking at labels. See website

Sam Worthington went to Le Cafe Siam this week. For review

[dirtydog]

From the Baron www.BaronBonk.com

Champagne Bar

I dropped into the new Champagne Bar twixt Soi 4 and Soi 2 on Sukhumvit Road. This is on the first floor above Bully’s where the late no-hands Privilege Bar was located. This should be a prime location although it does not seem to have the foot traffic of the rest of Sukhumvit, part of the undoing perhaps of the No Hands operation as the managers thought they did not need to promote the operation (or ran out of money, or both!).


The climb to the first floor is my biggest bug with this location, but in some ways that has an advantage as it will discourage the unwanted. The design and decoration are worthy of the name. The area is large with a round low bar at one end and a grand piano, compete with candelabra at the other. The bar is dominated by a central pillar crowned by a bottle of Champagne. Around the walls are individual sitting areas which can be individually curtained off. The furnishings are luxurious with chaises longues and sofas featuring in the rooms, and one even has a bed! The background music is either from the piano player with a traditional bass player, or from CD’s playing light jazz. Elegant is indeed a word that springs to mind as well as the odd Louis reference, except that we are not talking to the French this week!
I had a long chat with Paul who has emerged from the aging long-haired hippy image to really look and talk the role of the manager of a sophisticated bar. Well this has been his job for years so he should know what he is doing. The main thing is he is confident and totally at ease with the operation which is not aimed at cheap charlies or those who do not know how to behave. He does not say it, but quietly implies that if you need to ask the price well....!
Now the girls are also elegant and well turned out. They are clearly not your average pole hugger straight off the farm. Many have come from Pegasus and are a pampered lot with a make-up artist and coiffure coming in every night to see they are turned out properly. In addition, when spoken to in English, they can all say more than “mae kow jae!”
So for those who do need to know, the price of drinks is about 250 Baht, and that is the price of a Lady drink. A bottle of the Widow was 5,900 Baht, which I thought was fair, and there were some quite drinkable wines mainly under 2,000 Baht for a bottle. Spirits run at 3,000 Baht a bottle. Bar fines are complicated, or simple depending upon your view, mainly because the house collects before you leave with the minimum short time rate at about 4,000 Baht, or long time by arrangement (each girl has pre-fixed her rate with the management).
I enjoyed my hour sitting up here as the rest of Sukhumvit hustled on below us. Indeed a good refuge from the rats, both tattooed and otherwise, who have taken over Nana Plaza. I hope it works out, and early indications are that it will. Well done Paulie!



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Pattaya - Problems with Water and lower Walking Street

I managed a flying visit to Pattaya this week and it lasted just long enough to get the mother and father of all hangovers! But I managed to see a few old faces and catch up on some of what is going on ‘u teel talay’!

The current main problem in Pattaya is a product that we all take for granted and I normally get too much of in my whisky - water. There is an acute water shortage here with public water often off for 24 hours or longer. Of course the proper hotels have tankers supplying water and thus major tourist facilities should not be affected. But many smaller guest houses and rooms above bars are often waterless for a day or more with a dustbin in the bathroom corner for showers etc. The same applies to public loos. So before booking a room there, it is worth making certain that the place does have water!
Unfortunately it looks like this problem will become perennial as there are literally thousands of new hotel rooms and hundreds of new homes all using the same water supply that has barely sufficed over the last ten years or more. Needless to say, the authorities are blaming the drought, and drought only for the problem, rather than acknowledging that with all the new building, the real problem may be an infrastructure one!

In the Walking Street area I found a few happy gogo bar owners in Soi Diamond/Soi 15 area and a few miserable ones further down the street. What really hit me was that prices were in inverse proportion to the success of the establishment. In the top end of the street around Soi Diamond area, most bottles of beer were under 100 Baht. Down past the boxing ring, prices were up into the 120 Baht bracket. Okay I know this is how the Thai’s think, but it seems to have rubbed off onto the farangs! Desperation it may be, but it is misplaced at best and downright stupid at the other end. I actually listened to a group talking and the local know-all was expressing the view that it ain’t worth walking down to lower Walking Street for this reason, especially when there are now about 20 gogos in the Soi Diamond area that are not only busier, and better than the lower end, but cheaper as well. I think if I owned a gogo bar lower down Walking Street I would take whatever money I can for it - and run!

I clambered up the stairs to the new Shark agogo (Soi Diamond) and wondered why I had taken the high road when the low road already had all I wanted. Then I found the Shark Club next door and discovered a much jollier place all together. This is a miniature version of the Beach Club, a so-called table dancing club but more appropriately called a pussy showing bar - although the said body part was not so brazenly flashed here. Alain, father of Frankie was holding court here, and there was quite a buzz. But it is small.

The nearby Beach Club is still the place with which to compete. It was packed whenever I trundled in. I am not sure that the collection of exposed pussy, which seems to be the main attraction, is really that appealing, so maybe it is the genuine buzz and party atmosphere that prevails. There are certainly lots of very unashamed ladies who work here as well a fair collection of pretty girls who like to keep their assets hidden - except, of course, for private showings!

I spent one afternoon getting to know the inside of the Jameson Bar ( 80/146 Moo 9, Soi Sukrudee (Soi A.R.), tel: 038 415 304 Website) a little too well. This is the new bar of long-time Pattaya Landlord Kim , formerly of Shenanigans among others. I am not sure exactly where it is as I was driven there. I am told it is quite near the centre of Pattaya but it is around the back. It certainly is a place you need wheels to get to! From the outside it looks like a backstreet pub, but inside it is much grander. It follows the style of Shenanigans with a carvery area, this one called called Beckham’s Kitchen. I presume that as long as Victoria’s not in charge it might be alright, in a kind of naff round ball sort of way! In my mind Beckham and good food are not words I would expect to use in the same sentence, although he can certainly afford the finest! I am told Jameson's is popular with golfers and function throwers and Kim, who is the kind of guy who likes a yarn over a pint or several, has a good following after all those years in Sin City!

One of the best institutions in Pattaya is the Baht bus. It makes moving around central Pattaya easy, and for years the price has been 5 Baht with a maximum of 10 Baht. Farangs tended to end up in fight if they tried to pay 5 Baht and in some ways I thought that fair enough. But on this trip, particularly at night, I found the demand was for 20 Baht or more. I had to tell 2 or 3 buses to go away, before I could find one who would accept 10 Baht.
I saw groups of buses parked up and not running around as usual. No doubt with fuel rises, the drivers are feeling the pinch and maybe 15 Baht is fairer. But would it not be better for the authorities to fix a new rate rather than have the owners try and impose it arbitrarily!

I had a couple of decent meals at Au Bon Coin and Ciao just off walking street Click on link to Samworthington.com.

[dirtydog]

NightMarch from Pattaya

Keep Staring and Buy Me a Drink: A little while ago I mentioned a well-known thriller writer, noting waitresses in the Kilkenny lounge lizard libation room (Walking Street) were sporting T-shirts reading ‘Don’t Stare, Buy Me a Drink’, purchased a libation for one of them. He was disappointed when the damsel ordered a glass of Guinness but then told him she would have to wait until the end of her shift before downing the refreshment.
To clarify matters, the management of Kilkenny said ‘the staff are instructed to tell customers before (my italics) accepting the offer of a drink that they can only drink it after work not during…They are not to blame for…regulations…asking them not to drink whilst working.’
I don’t think the customer was concerned about the waitress pocketing the total cost of the libation, but more that he had purchased a tipple for her and would be unable to see whether this particular lass- whom he described as not much bigger than a garden gnome- could actually consume a glass of Guinness. While staff may well be instructed to inform customers prior to accepting a drink offer, the temptation to ‘forget’ to tell the customer pre-purchase is great; after all, the offer may well be rescinded and thus the lass has missed out on a few baht. Perhaps the best compromise would be for working damsels to be able to drink a glass of lolly water rather than be permitted to order anything stronger. That way the customer has the satisfaction of witnessing the benefits of his largesse, and the damsel remains sober and efficient.

Bigger Than Tijuana: Big Al’s Monster Tacos and Burger stand, located on Second Road, opposite the Big C shopping complex and in front of the Atlantic Bar near Soi 3, has been doing good business since it first opened a couple of months back. There are those who claim to know Mexican nosh who say the stand serves good Mexican food at prices that won’t break the bank. The Monster Burrito is 90 baht while the Monster Taco retails at 80 baht. Sour cream is an extra five baht. Drinks are also reasonable with Leo amber nectar at 40 baht and lolly water 30 baht.
Big Al, an American whose moniker is justified, has been in Pattaya for about three years now, will be opening a fully-serviced Mexican restaurant just off Walking Street in the next couple of months and promises his prices will be reasonable and the quality of the food up with the best in town.
In the meantime, he has partnered up with Garrulous Gary of The Alamo in Soi 8, making his burritos, tacos and other strange-sounding victuals available for the tired and hungry strollers of that populous soi. The Alamo is situated right next door to the Silver Star ogling den and opposite a pair of beer boozers with sights definitely worth scanning while masticating a mouthful of re-fried beans. I do suggest heading upwind after completing a Mexican meal, the downwind alternative can get to be a little nose-wrinkling, especially if you’ve had a few Chang chasers.

Crash and Fingers Burn: Yet another potential sad tale of woe from the ‘How to Make a Small Fortune in a Night Entertainment Venue in Pattaya’ Business Plan 101. The answer, of course, ‘start with a large fortune’. This tale concerns the benighted complex of boozers opposite the Lek sleeping palace on Second Road. Known as the Happy House complex it had previous incarnations as Fight Night and Erdinger Beer Garden the rumour mill suggested the sundry booze bar operators on the south side of the setup were given until 30 June to vacate the premises because the area is to be turned into yet another giant shopping mall. Something Fun Town is really short on. My spies tell me compensation will be limited to a return on deposit and three months rent.
Allegedly two Thai businessmen operate the complex and are blaming one another for the mess and neither of them is ever seen together. According to one report, the land was sold for 80 million baht with somebody trousering a nice wedge from that.
A Thai lady spent around 1.5 million baht and opened a new go-go bar called Love Joys in the complex in early June but I’m told she has no contract with at least one of the owners and therefore stands to most of her investment.
The sad reality is almost nothing can really be done to obtain proper and fair compensation, and not just in this instance. Look at the Cupido Complex, Queen’s Park Plaza, the Beach and Second Road Soi 9 beer boozers and many other collective and single instances stretching from Bangkok to Phuket as well as Pattaya. And the Thais will screw fellow Thais just as soon as they would any foreigner. Nothing personal, just business (read: greed and avarice).

No Nobel Prize Winners in Here: Just in case anyone hadn’t noticed or could care less anyway, the Dynamite ogling den (Pattayaland Soi 1) blew itself into oblivion some weeks ago and closed its doors after failing to attract much in the way of that increasingly rare beast known as the paying public.
Manager Napoleon Blownapart was quoted as saying, “I think the stairs are what did it. Too many for old foreigners to climb and those that did and managed to stay for a few drinks got drunk and kept falling down and breaking their necks when they left. That really buggered our customer base.” Given the nature of the gender-confused soi, chances are the place will re-open as a pink palace.

Also closed in recent times are the Hot and Cold gogo (Soi Yamato), that’s in case anyone actually noticed it had re-opened, albeit briefly; the Roof chrome pole palace (upstairs at the beach end of Soi Diamond); I think the over-priced libations and strange seating arrangements didn’t help and the Folies Pigalle agogo (Walking Street), no loss there in what has been a Pattaya ‘black hole’ for more than 10 years (remember Cheerleaders and Drop In?).
The Jacuzzi and Las Vegas gogos (both in Soi BJ, off Walking Street), the latter featuring those hard-faced Russian showtarts, were closed for renovations in June and should, according to the signs out the front, be re-opening by the time you read this.

Two-Tiered Dancers: Although we lump all boozers employing damsels who dance around a chrome pole under the tag of an ogling den, for a long time now there has been a two-tiered pricing structure in place in those places also offering a range of ‘shows’. The Living Dolls Showcase and Polo dens (both on Walking Street) have for some time had a policy of charging 1,000 baht as a bar fine for their show girls. The aim of this high impost is to discourage punters from taking the lasses out of the joint before or during the shows. It is sensible business practice. After all, if the best show girls are gone before 11:00PM or midnight then the punters who do come to see the shows will likely be disappointed.
Now a whole raft of other dens are following suit. Some of them still basically offer chrome pole dancing with some shows for added interest. In these dens the damsel who just hugs the chrome pole for a few songs can still be bar-fined for 500 baht; those lasses who have more intimate relations with the poles, rubber utensils and each other are only available for a 1,000 baht impost. Again, this is a sensible operating policy for the bar.
Unfortunately, problems can arise with punters interested in furthering their acquaintance with one of these ‘stars’, especially if it happens to be past the witching hour. I was in one of the better quality ogling/show dens recently when a punter wanted to pay the bar for a couple of the showgirls. The time was around 1:30AM and the owners still wanted 1,000 baht for each lady. Needless to say, the punter felt he was being gouged (he was perfectly happy to cough up the usual ‘monkey’ for each damsel, but wasn’t going to part with a ‘gorilla’). After he left, I asked the owners why they had insisted on the 1,000 baht and was told, “I have to pay the show girls 400 baht per day, so if I let her go for just 500 baht we’re not making any money.”
As most people probably know, the damsel usually receives 100 baht out of a bar fine. To his credit, the owner did say he would talk to his partner and they would possibly change their policy to reflect the time at which a punter is looking to make his ‘purchase’. For example, after midnight in the What’s Up gogo the bar fine for a show dancer drops to 600 baht.

Anytime’s a Good Time for Playtime: Apropos of the above, the management of the New Living Dolls ogling den (Walking Street) have reduced the bar fine for dancing damsels from the standard 500 baht to 300 baht for the last hour of operations each night. The aim is to encourage those imbibers looking for a little female companionship into the early hours of the morning not to wait for their favourite dancer to finish her shift at 2:00AM, but instead cough up a little earlier and have that extra ‘quality’ time with their favourite. The plan is to continue the reduced late-hour bar fine system until the end of July.

Piece of Pith: ‘All passions involve excess. That’s what makes them passions.’ (Nicolas-Sebastien Chamfort 1741-1794)

[dirtydog]

Bamboozler in Cambodia

BAR MADNESS IN PHNOM PENH

The rainy season has yet to take hold in the Capital with only occasional thunderstorms, although the south of the country has finally gotten enough rains to prevent the national calamity of the brewery suspending operations and allow the planting of early rice. This continuing drought may in some way contribute to the bar madness of the past couple of months, but somehow I doubt it.

The long awaited ‘Irish Bar’ finally opened next to the Heart of Darkness with little or no fanfare. Despite rumors of an upscale Irish pub/restaurant it appears at this point to be just another single shophouse bar from the same cookie cutter mold as dozens of others. No food, no girls and no Guiness, despite lots of ads hinting of same. Well ok, there is an affable resident dog that goes by that name, but that hardly counts IMO. The owner has now gone off to Thailand for the past 2 weeks and staff seems unaware of his possible return date. Hmmmm…….

Down on the Riverfront, Mikeys has undergone an owner change with one partner buying out another for the reported large sum of US$60K. Rumors also say that a name change is in the immediate plans which begs to ask the question about an established name and advertising being of any value.

On a more positive note, the K-Bar, formerly Kiwi Bar, and originally the Kiwi Drink shop, has yet another new name and owner. English Tony has taken the reins of this comfortable bar and is doing a fine job. Just up the street from Sharky’s on Street 130, the air conditioned interior and comfortable stools make this a great place to start the evening. Since it is open in the daytime as well, I love to escape the heat and imbibe a few of the special $2 Bloody Marys on a Sunday afternoon. The bar food is good with an English slant and the music is at a level that a conversation is not overwhelmed.

Down the street at Sharkys, Robbie, the former manager of Shanghai Bar, is heading up promotions and special events. He has already organized a successful boat trip and pit BBQ and plans another for after the rainy season. We look forward to many more events from this talented and creative manager as he further develops this landmark bar.

Finally, a comment on the differences on the differences between the Khmer and Viet girls in the scene. While it is generally the case that the locals are more conservative than their sisters from the south, one must add a note of caution about these more ‘open’ ladies. There have been a number of incidents lately of very professional pickpocketing occurring at various locations throughout town. In all these cases the perpetrators were Viets, some even well known. So everybody be careful out there, and don’t carry anything on you night (or day) out that would be a great loss.


A Bamboozler Birthday in Sihanoukville

Having found an astral twin born on the same day and year as myself, I journeyed off to Sihanoukville to participate in a joint birthday party. I’m well past the point of ‘celebrating’ birthdays, but any excuse for a party with friends is always welcome.
The tourism in the beach town is so low that it must be a minus factor, but most of the town’s expats showed up for a great feast and pissup at Club Sandwich on the main drag. (It’s next door to Ana’s Internet which she and hubbie Mick operate. It’s the best Internet and Travel shop in town and they are a knowledgeable and friendly couple.)

Bob the proprietor, is another old Asia hand with many years in LOS and now runs a fine restaurant/bar with good grub and cheap prices. The place is new and very nicely done with both indoor and outdoor areas in a large double shophouse that gives a spacious, relaxing feel. Highly recommended.

Another old LOS hand Bob, manager of the Sihanoukville Hotel, produces the best breakfast in town, so he got my slightly hungover body into recovery mode the next morning. Bob opened one of the first bars in Pattaya in 1975 when it was still a fishing village, so he’s still at it near the sea many moons later. He is also a good source of local info, has decent cheap rooms for $10 and is happy to show you about town. He got me a good car and driver for my trip back, for the reasonable sum of $25.

Nightlife in town is pretty quiet, with the majority of places having only other bar owners as customers. Brian from Fisherman’s Den has returned from his trip to New Zealand and has got things going again. There are some new ladies hanging about so it’s always worth dropping in.

Same at Shifty’s with promos most nights. Sadly there were too few customers for the pool tournament when I was there, but the Monday night promo “Get Shitfaced on a Shoestring” still draws them in. Gotta say, I really like the food here and it is my regular dinner stop. They bring in all their meat from LOS and I is much better quality than available locally. They are also the only place in town with Tiger beer on tap and the pretty gals hanging around don’t hurt the atmosphere. In fact I met what I consider to be the most beautiful Khmer women I have seen to date there. Damn, now if I was just 20 years younger.

Meanwhile, down at the beaches, the military police have finally carried through on their plans and knocked down all the shacks, shanties and bars on Ochheutal beach. So, what a friend used to call ‘fairy lights along the beach’ is now a darkened dangerous pile of rubble. No doubt some will call it progress as development of the area continues, but others will feel a sense of loss as time marches on. Overall Sihanoukville still has small village attributes, and that includes the gambit of good and bad colorful characters escaping other world reality, old hands looking for that final place to rest in the sun, would be hippies, born well after Woodstock, starting their own adventure trail of life, and a few old gits just trying to survive. Guess I fit right in.