A Golfing Experience in Laos

[Mr Lick]

Day 1


A top Australian pal and myself set off from Issan on Wednesday 18th January 2012 with a view to test Laos immigration officers to their limits and also play a round or 2 of golf.


We arrived at the Friendship Bridge in Nong Khai at 10.30am, duly abandoned the truck at a nearby private enterprise parking lot, grabbed our golf bags and overnight cases and were whisked through (some might say kicked out of) Thailand by immigration officials, in the nicest way possible of course.


Our plan was clear, board the Friendship Bridge bus, saunter through Laos immigration, grab a taxi and head for the newish ‘Laos Country Club’ golf course’ for an 18 holer.


Our hopes of an early tee off were dashed however, when we arrived at ‘the other side’ (this is pre-death btw) to find around 50 tourists, yes, bloody tourists , had beaten us in the chase. Grabbing and completing an application form or 2 we were pleasantly surprised to find Laos immigration on top form that morning and were up and running again in a mere 20 minutes.


A very dodgy looking asian character had followed us from the Thai side with the promise that he would arrange transportation to the golf course in Laos although as he was carrying both of our heavy golf bags on/off the bus and t’other side, we thought we really couldn’t lose out even if we couldn’t agree a fair price for the transportation.


30 day Laos visa fee for an Australian 30 US$


30 day Laos visa fee for English boy 35 US$ (Bloody damn cheek!!)



Knowing the golf course was around 5kms from the bridge we negotiated the princely sum of 200 baht for the taxi (pre-21st century Toyota mini-bus) ride.


On our arrival outside the clubhouse (around 1 km from the main road) we were greeted by members of staff who were very eager to assist us. Unfortunately, they were all blokes so not much chance of a nod and a wink at this particular stage in proceedings.


We presented ourselves at reception and enquired as to said ‘green fee’. The reply we received was 300,000 kip which in real money should have been the equivalent of 9p sterling. However, with puzzled looks on our faces and a shrug of the shoulders/ hand gestures, similar to that of an Italian footballer who has just cynically scythed down an opponent from behind, a very beautiful female staff member, producing a calculator around the size of a 3rd Century Mesopotamian abacus, displayed the figures of 1160. ‘’Ah, discount for tourist, thank you, thank you’’ i answered. ‘’Sir, this is baht price’’. ‘’Ok, i replied, well it wasn’t really but as the girls were so deliciously lickable, the fee was dutifully paid. We were then ushered to the quite magnificent locker rooms (men’s unfortunately) and were swiftly outside to be greeted by 2 fair maidens (well rather dark actually) who were to pull our bags for the afternoon.


Midday tee off at the 10th, 2 ball round completed at 3.35pm. We were in truth held up a wee bit on the course by a couple of 4 balls (quite refreshingly, this is the maximum group permitted on this course – Thailand, please take note) and on the first 9 were also joined by the club professional and his friend but no matter how much they tried they were unable to outdrive us (mainly because we were teeing off around 100 yards in front of them.)


My view of this course:-


Wonderfully lush and generous fairways, huge greens which were playing a wee bit slow over the 2 days. Teeing areas again were in fine condition. The 4 page score card incorporated an ariel layout of all 18 holes which was of great assistance to virgins such as us.

As there are steps to negotiate between holes 3 and 4, no carts were available although with the course being pretty flat we didn’t experience any problems walking it.


The clubhouse facilities are quite superb. Well equipped Pro-shop, huge reception and very helpful staff (they allowed us to leave our golf bags at the club overnight).


Modern large shower cubicles with precise heating controls, towel and post-shower grooming gear available at nil cost.

The ‘Hole in One’ restaurant has a limited menu although the chef came up with a meal not on the list when asked for. Plentiful indoor/outdoor tables, the meal was of good quality and of course a couple of ‘Beer Lao’ had to be sampled prior to our departure at 5.45pm. Before leaving the manager informed us that the course had been open for almost a year (previously the ‘Youth Garden GC’) and thanked us for our custom. Extremely nice fellow


A local tuk-tuk was summoned by staff to take us back to the main highway where we flagged down a passing taxi to convey us into Vientiane.


Having made a list of potential hotels in the Laos capital before leaving Thailand we first came upon the ‘Win Hotel’ in the city centre. At 900 baht per night, the best rooms available were clean and ok but not of a similar standard that can be witnessed in Issan unfortunately, (tiny shower room) Helpful staff though. 40 baht for 1 hour internet use, free wi-fi. Small breakfast.

After a very swift settling in period we went in search of a drinking hole and heading in the direction of the Mekong River came across a farang bar called ‘The Drop Zone’ where we were to spend the next couple of hours sipping a few beers and smiling at the hostess’s. Then onward to a club on the riverfront called the ‘Bor Pennyang’. A trek to the 4th floor revealed a somewhat busy but friendly atmosphere for expats, locals and travellers alike. Food available and good music set at a reasonable volume made for a pleasant 2 hour stay until closing time at 11.30pm. This appears to be a pick-up bar as there were a number of girls and Ladyboys (freelancers?) looking for suitable clients on the night.

Day 2


Aussie Steve was up at 7am and off to the Thai Embassy to apply for a 90 day visa, returning to the hotel at 9.25am where we had planned to take a taxi back to the golf course for some further punishment.


The hotel manager offered to ring for a taxi but after a 20 minute wait and still no sign we hailed the first cab to come along which turned out to be a rather antique Nissan whose driver was not only wearing a pair of Stevie Wonder’s sunglasses but also exuded the same driving capabilities of the musical star. To be fair this guy really shouldn’t be driving a motorized vehicle on the road let alone carrying fare paying passengers. During the very painful 40 minute journey (15kms) i lost count of the number of occasions he changed gear but i don’t think i would be presumptuous in believing that he may very well have been in need of emergency treatment for a repetitive strain injury to his right hand shortly after dropping us off.


Making our way to the 1st tee we very quickly realised that we had tipped our caddies of yesterday too much as they were there once more to satisfy our every need (well almost). We completed the round at 1.30pm so less than 3 hours with no hold ups. 17 pars between us was deserving of an additional beer or two so we decided to take full advantage.


A 4pm taxi ride took us back to the hotel, this time by a very capable gentleman who could speak fluent English. (We booked him for our return journey to the bridge the following day).


A couple of hours nap was followed by a search of bars but as a rampant thirst suddenly sprang upon us we arrived once more at ‘The Drop Zone’. Some 5 large bottles later we sauntered off once more to the ‘Bor Pennyang’ for a discussion about the European financial crisis and how it was likely to affect the global price of alcohol


A very pleasant evening at the locus was spoiled momentarily when a young filly, who had been trying to catch my eye after a potential client had turned her down, became quite irate when i wouldn’t spend the night with her. Now back in my home country, girls used to pay me NOT to sleep with them so this was indeed a quite refreshing scenario.


Closing time was upon us so we then moved onto a pub a couple of blocks away named ‘Samlo Bar’. In the dimly lit establishment, holding an ambience similar to that of a downtown Cairo mystic Inn, we sipped a short or two whilst chatting with a jovial Scottish gentleman. Fine music at the bar and it seemed like a good meeting place for those seeking a partner for the night. Think we returned to the hotel at 1am ‘ish.


Day 3


An early morning stroll around the city and morning market and then back to the hotel to await our taxi ride to the Embassy/bridge. Things went pretty smoothly from thereon until we arrived on the Thai immigration side of the bridge to find huge queues awaiting us. 50 minutes later we were back in LoS and heading south.


Vientiane, since my last visit 4 years ago appears to have gone through a great transformation during that period. I recall it to be a sleepy city where bicycles seemed to outnumber motor vehicles and now it has become a throbbing metropolis, heavy traffic, vibrant nightlife, a terrific amount of new hotels/shopping malls. On the downside i discovered that taxi drivers charge a good deal more for fares than their Thai counterparts although with fuel being a wee bit more expensive in Laos i suppose this is justifiable. Food is very similar in price as are drinks. Hotels charge more but then this is the capital and nothing much seems to have changed in this dept since 2007/8.


A great deal of investment from other S.E. Asian countries would appear to have been pumped into the economy for such a huge change to have taken place. Lots of Hummer’s, Land Cruisers and Merc’s parked at the golf course whilst we were there.

I need to add that when trying to divide the local legal tender by 250 in order to obtain the baht equivalent whilst being slightly under the influence of alcohol can indeed be a challenging experience. Nevertheless a great 3 days enjoyed by both.


Pictures of the clubhouse and course:-

[Khun Custard]

Thanks Mr L, top report, must try it!

We completed the round at 1.30pm so less than 3 hours with no hold ups. 17 pars between

Did they tell you that the only one to better your momentus feat in time and score was a bloke from N. Korea who call himself the Great Leader?

[Mr Lick]

^ I believe that the great leader scored around 2/3 holes in one during his bi-annual round although i have yet to see an entry in the Guiness Book of World Records to that effect

[WujouMao]

private enterprise parking lot

Not to be picky and all that, but if you say you're English and all that, why say the american term for a car park?

Anyhow, it was a good read.

[the dogcatcher]

We played the 9 hole to the north of town. Good for big hitters.
Love V town, I could live there.

[nigelandjan]

Not to be picky and all that, but if you say you're English and all that, why say the american term for a car park?

Why be so picky an all that >>?

[nigelandjan]

for an 18 holer.

I guess she was double jointed ?

Good post mate looking forward to trimming you up with my " genuine " 28 idiot handicap when I settle in Udon

[terry57]

Nice report mate. cheers.

[laymond]

nice work champ,the course looks great.might slip over there next time for a hit.

[sabaii sabaii]

Not to be picky and all that, but if you say you're English and all that, why say the american term for a car park?

Due to the bad company he's keeping.

The guy who beat him at Golf was a Septic. I had a friend who went to the states, only for a month or so, and came back talking like one too.

You did lose, right, Mr Lick ? Because I don't see any mention of the result in there.

Nice read though
Have a Nice day

[Loy Toy]

Nice read mate and thanks for sharing.

[Mr Lick]

You did lose, right, Mr Lick ? Because I don't see any mention of the result in there

My modesty forbade me from announcing the result earlier SS, but if you really wish to know it's:-

English boy 2 Australia 0. Two very, very close matches and i'm sure that he'll get me back before the month is out

[Loy Toy]

English boy 2 Australia 0.

Good one lick.

Being English what is your handicap?

[Mr Lick]

English boy 2 Australia 0.

Good one lick.

Being English what is your handicap?

More recently it used to be Gordon Brown


Following a couple of good performances in Laos it is now 14 LT, would love to lower it further although just happy to get out and socialise with other expats. Great guys who live closeby make for a very pleasant round of golf 3 times a week.

Life is great as a retiree

[nigelandjan]

Following a couple of good performances in Laos it is now 14

I got down to that mate when I was playing competitions every week ,, would be nearer 114 now