Thread: Quick Jokes

What's the difference between a radical muslim and a moderate muslim?

A radical muslim wants to rape your wife and children and cut your head off.

A moderate muslim wants a radical muslim to rape your wife and children and cut your head off.

rat-a-tat-*ching*

Originally Posted by harrybarracuda

What's the difference between a radical muslim and a moderate muslim?

A radical muslim wants to rape your wife and children and cut your head off.

A moderate muslim wants a radical muslim to rape your wife and children and cut your head off.

rat-a-tat-*ching*

It's funny because it's true.

After my accident, the nurse said, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."
"Fair enough," I replied, groping her tits

My Mother-in-law came into work at lunch today and I must admit, I was genuinely pleased to see her.

I'm an undertaker.

I've just got back from the world blindfolded masturbating championships.

I've no idea where I came!!

How do you grease a Fiat ?









Run over an Italian.

Political slogan in the US: Ban packaged shredded cheese. Make America grate again.

Originally Posted by harrybarracuda

What's the difference between a radical muslim and a moderate muslim?

A radical muslim wants to rape your wife and children and cut your head off.

A moderate muslim wants a radical muslim to rape your wife and children and cut your head off.

rat-a-tat-*ching*

Why isn't this in the DH megathred?

Trams are smart but only in reverse.

Originally Posted by Davis Knowlton

Originally Posted by harrybarracuda

What's the difference between a radical muslim and a moderate muslim?

A radical muslim wants to rape your wife and children and cut your head off.

A moderate muslim wants a radical muslim to rape your wife and children and cut your head off.

rat-a-tat-*ching*

Why isn't this in the DH megathred?

Because harry's been elevated.

Originally Posted by Davis Knowlton

Originally Posted by harrybarracuda

What's the difference between a radical muslim and a moderate muslim?

A radical muslim wants to rape your wife and children and cut your head off.

A moderate muslim wants a radical muslim to rape your wife and children and cut your head off.

rat-a-tat-*ching*

Why isn't this in the DH megathred?

Because it's a quick joke.

Because Muslims can't laugh at themselves..?

When I got home the other night there was a note on the fridge from the wife which read,

"Its not working anymore, I've gone home to mother".

I knew she was wrong, because when I opened the door, the light came on and the beer was cold.

It’s a bad day here…..

I'm now 20 hours into my sponsored semaphore marathon, unfortunately I'm starting to flag quite badly.

Pulled into the petrol station to fill up the car today,and didn't realise I'd splashed some petrol on the sleeve of my jacket.

I pulled out onto the highway and went to light a cigarette...well my arm only ended up catching fire didn't it,so I stuck my arm out the window to try and blow it out,I did this as a police car was overtaking me.

End result,they charged me with being in posession of an unlicensed fire arm

I just like to sleep naked. Personally I think the air-hostess could have been a bit more understanding

Originally Posted by forreachingme

My wife treats me like a god. She totally ignores my existence until she needs me.

I KNOW this one 100%. hahaha 555

I called my wife 'My little Viking Queen' once.
She asked if it was because she resembled Scandinavian royalty.
I said 'No, it's because you've got a face like a Norse'.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.


A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

^I'm blue with envy that I didn't think of this.

What does Birding call a color that doesn't exist?
A pigment of his imagination.

^That must be the shortest joke ever posted!



Mind you, I didn't really get it!

Just a dig at his use of coloured fonts that some people can't read. Might be easier just to add him to my ignore list.

Originally Posted by VocalNeal

Just a dig at his use of coloured fonts that some people can't read. Might be easier just to add him to my ignore list.

Ah you must be using one of those greasy fingerprint phone things that cant read this site properly.
The background on this site for normal computers is dark blue and print is white, black does not show up so therefor white print is used so most users can read it.

This will also be why I get some blank pages on the funny pix thread.