Thread: Quick Jokes

I'd just like to make it clear I have never pulled my meat out of a fridge

When I heard about the cure for dyslexia it was music to my arse.

I bought a new computer. When I turn it on, instead of saying "Welcome", it says "Hello".

It's a Dell.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.'

'First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.'

“I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.”

'A man doesn't know what hapiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.'

I've just found a wooden leg.
Anybody want it?

Make a good stocking filler at this time of year!

What the fuck is Gluten and why is it coming free with everything?

How do you know if Santa's been in your garden shed?
You've got three extra hoes.

Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?
Because their days are numbered

What is the best Christmas present in the world?

A broken drum, you just can't beat it!

'What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve'

Your a card David, You should be shoufled and delt with..............

Never trust an electrician with no eyebrows!

I had a Chicken Tarka last night.
It's a bit like Tikka but otter!

in he news the other day a bloke died of a coronary incident at the curry house, they said he had a dodgy tikka

Originally Posted by SiLeakHunt

in he news the other day a bloke died of a coronary incident at the curry house, they said he had a dodgy tikka

No, he survived, but he's in a korma.

So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere...........

I started a band called 999 Megabytes — we haven’t gotten a gig yet.

My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame....

Report: Europe may ban teens under 16 from social media.

Although I suspect a few may figure out how to click the "Yes, I am 16 or older" button

What is the best thing Macaulay Culkin has been in?















Mila Kunis.

^ did he? Lucky fuker!

Originally Posted by Bettyboo

I started a band called 999 Megabytes — we haven’t gotten a gig yet.

or for the real nerds 1023 Megabytes