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  1. #1
    Thailand Expat VocalNeal's Avatar
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    Zebra Dies and goes to heaven.

    If you wasn't born white, what race would you want to be..? This thread jogged my memory

    Zebra dies and goes to heaven. At the pearly gates he requests an audience with God as he has a question.
    St. Peter says "What is the question"
    Zebra says "I want to know if I am white with black stripes or black with white stripes"
    St. Peter says "OK, that is a tough one and only God will know"
    Some while later the Zebra returns.
    St. Peter says "How did it go"
    Zebra says"Well I asked and he answered but I still don't know"
    St. Peter says "Well what did he say?"
    Zebra says" He said, You is what you is"
    St. Peter says "Well that is easy . You are black with white stripes"
    Zebra says "How can you tell from that"
    St Peter says "Well if you are white with black stripes God would have said You are what you are"
    Better to think inside the pub, than outside the box?
    I apologize if any offence was caused. unless it was intended.
    You people, you think I know feck nothing; I tell you: I know feck all
    Those who cannot change their mind, cannot change anything.

  2. #2
    The Familyman Dillinger's Avatar
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    *groan*

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat
    billy the kid's Avatar
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    belly laffed i did.

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat
    wasabi's Avatar
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    a circus Zebra

  5. #5
    R.I.P.

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    Some from OZ

    The copper pulled up next to the bloke unloading garbage out of his ute into the ditch.
    The copper asked,“Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don’t you see that sign right over your head.”
    “Yep,” he replied.
    “That’s why I’m dumpin’ it here, ‘cause it says: ‘Fine For Dumping Garbage.”



    A WA highway patrol pulled over a car on the main road. The copper asked, “Got any ID?”
    The driver replied, “about what?”





    The young man from SA came running into the store and said to his mate, “Johnno, somebody just stole your ute from the parking lot!”
    Johnno replied, “Did ya see who it was?”
    The young man answered, “I couldn’t tell, but I got the licence plate number.”



    A senior citizen in Tasmania was overheard saying, “When the end of the world comes, I hope to be here.”
    When asked why, he replied, “I’d rather be in Tasmania ‘cause everything happens in Tasmania 20 years later than in the rest of the world.”


    A senior citizen drove his brand new Holden Senator out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 120 kph, enjoying the power of the car .
    “Amazing,” he thought as he flew down the M1, pushing the pedal even more.
    Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a highway patrol car, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
    He floored it to 140 kph, then 180kph, then suddenly he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this!” and pulled over to await the copper’s arrival.
    Pulling in behind him, the copper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the car. He looked at his watch, then said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding – a reason I’ve never before heard – I’ll let you go..”
    The old gentleman paused then said, “Thirty three years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back.”
    “Have a good day, Sir,” replied the copper.
    Last edited by birding; 23-11-2016 at 12:31 PM.

  6. #6
    R.I.P.

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    About Einstein

    Einstein was born March 14, 1879.
    He would be 135 if he were alive today. Few people remember that he married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage failed in 1919.


    At the time he stated that he was attracted to Elsa “because she was so well endowed”.
    He postulated that if you are attracted to women with large breasts, the attraction is even stronger if there is a DNA connection.
    This came to be known as….












































    Einstein’s
    Theory of RelativeTitty

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