should I tell him??

**enoch wasright** · 31-03-2009, 05:45 PM

I am living here and have no wish to return home. Since Christmas my health seems to have gone awry. I am told I need treatment for both an aortic anurism and possible cancer of the stomach and colon!!

I have one son aged 43 and living in the UK who I have not seen for a couple of years.

My own take on this is that I tell him nothing in order to avoid worry for him.
My friend says that this is unfair and that I should tell him of my condition!

What is the considered opinion of you gents??

**kingwilly** · 31-03-2009, 05:46 PM

tell him.

simple.

**Loy Toy** · 31-03-2009, 05:50 PM

What you don't trust your son's judgement?

It is now the time that a families love and support comes in the most wonderful way.

Good luck with your condition and keep your spirits up and with the support of your son!

**kingwilly** · 31-03-2009, 06:08 PM

How would you feel if he was the one in illhealth and he hid it from you?

**jaiyenyen** · 31-03-2009, 06:42 PM

Yeah, you have to tell him mate. If the boot was on the other foot, I'm sure you would want to know.
Good luck to you.

**Marmite the Dog** · 31-03-2009, 06:52 PM

You should tell your son and I'm sorry to hear of your condition.

Dan · 31-03-2009, 07:00 PM

My father died when I was very young in a vaguely similar situation. I was too young for his lack of honesty to have made a difference but his not being straight with my older brothers was poor. Tell him.

**DrAndy** · 31-03-2009, 08:13 PM

and Enoch was not right

pompeybloke · 31-03-2009, 08:15 PM

Same opinion, must tell him. My mum died of cancer a couple of years back, contacted me with the news that time was limited and we'd been estranged for a long time. Glad we made up before she left.

pompeybloke · 31-03-2009, 08:17 PM

oh, and Enoch was right

**Thetyim** · 31-03-2009, 08:21 PM

Enoch was definitely right wing

**blackgang** · 31-03-2009, 08:47 PM

If you are close to your son then he should be told, if you are not and estranged I guess you would say, or on the outs as I would say, then fuck him, I was never really close to my sons or daughter by my first wife as I was always away from home working and never got to really know em,
Except I had been on some jobs with both boys and my oldest son and I followed the same trade and he wanted to be on jobs or even working for me, but like I say, I loved them but never really knew them and my Dad I was closest to but he was in a wheel chair for 11 years and damn lucky I guess you could say to have lived that long as no one expected it so when he went I was sad but I expected it.
And now my mom is in a rest home and don't think she can last much longer but it is not going to tear my ass up much when she goes as I never liked her anyway.

so as you can see, I know very little about close loving family relationships, but I know you love your son and if he loves you then he should be told that you ain't firing on all cylinders and might crash and burn instead of sending him a telly that you done farted and fell in the Land Of Shit.

I am only hitting on 4 of the 8 I was issued, but there is no one outside of my home, except some old friends that really gives a fuck so I tell them nothing.

**geoff** · 01-04-2009, 12:26 AM

Enoch, Was Definitely, Right.

**Jet Gorgon** · 01-04-2009, 12:35 AM

Go with your heart, Enoch. (I'm a chick so I oughta know.)

Hope you will get better.

**Gallowspole** · 01-04-2009, 12:53 AM

Originally Posted by enoch wasright

I am living here and have no wish to return home. Since Christmas my health seems to have gone awry. I am told I need treatment for both an aortic anurism and possible cancer of the stomach and colon!!

I have one son aged 43 and living in the UK who I have not seen for a couple of years.

My own take on this is that I tell him nothing in order to avoid worry for him.
My friend says that this is unfair and that I should tell him of my condition!

What is the considered opinion of you gents??

Get a second opinion.

**tsicar** · 01-04-2009, 02:05 AM

Originally Posted by Gallowspole

Get a second opinion.

definitely get a second opinion.
what does "possibly cancer of the stomach" mean? surely the doctor should be able to make a positive diagnosis and prescribe treatment.
and tell your son- he has a right to know.
good luck

**Mr Brown** · 01-04-2009, 03:51 AM

terribly sad- you have to tell him

**nedwalk** · 01-04-2009, 08:14 AM

get your house in order,and if the news is as stated contact him if that is your want if not at least put your feelings in a letter and that way when its in front of you then you can decide once you,ve read it over, make the most of what ime you have there ain,t no second chance

**a. boozer** · 01-04-2009, 09:20 AM

Enoch, It is for you to decide, only you know the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship with your son. You may not have seen him for a couple of years, but does that mean that you do not communicate? If you do keep in touch, and it is finances, or possibly, his personal circumstances that prevent him from seeing you, then in my humble opinion, it would only be fair to tell him. However, the diagnosis does seem rather vague, I would definitely get a second opinion before doing so!

Good Luck!

**DrAndy** · 01-04-2009, 02:59 PM

Originally Posted by pompeybloke

oh, and Enoch was right

Originally Posted by Thetyim

Enoch was definitely right wing

Originally Posted by geoff

Enoch, Was Definitely, Right.

if he was, then we are all living in a fantasy world

where are those rivers of blood?

**Texpat** · 01-04-2009, 03:08 PM

You don't have to tell anyone anything.
Let your conscience be your guide.
Everyone's circumstances are different.

Others pushing you in one direction or another are simply telling you what they'd do in their circumstances. Some assume there's a proper thing to do.

**lob** · 05-04-2009, 07:16 PM

Originally Posted by DrAndy

Originally Posted by pompeybloke

oh, and Enoch was right

Originally Posted by Thetyim

Enoch was definitely right wing

Originally Posted by geoff

Enoch, Was Definitely, Right.

if he was, then we are all living in a fantasy world

where are those rivers of blood?

just round the bend i think.

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