Thai Girl Pregnant

**In Trouble** · 04-02-2007, 04:11 AM

Hi Everyone,

I have been on many Thailand forums including Thai Visa and Ajarn.com. I have posted around the various boards some and am very embarassed to tell this story and ask the following questions.

Background:

I think I got a Thai girl pregnant. She told me via email, after my trip there, about 1-1/2 months after our first nights together. She did so only when I was not very attentive to her emails so I kind of thought she was doing this for attention and also since she told me this very matter of factly. However I wrote her again in order to be more attentive and after that she writes back and says that she "think something but not to worry". After that, the emails were again all nice and sweet as usual for the next month.

Well, ok... We did bump nasties with no protection but I saw the toilet seat shaped birth control pills in her purse and I kind of took it for granted she was taking them. When I left, completing the first trip, I turned to her at the hotel and said "YOU TAKE PILL OK?" while motioning a rounded stomach. Very stupid on my part. Please do not remind me of how stupid I am, my friends are taking care of that part.

Then I went back to Thailand at what would have been the 2-1/2 month point. I saw her and spent 2 nights with her. I figured if anything was up she would have sure told me then. Everything was rosy as on the first trip. So that reinforced my belief that she wanted attention. Then I told her on night 3 that I wanted a night alone and she storms out of the hotel with a serious attitude. We never saw each other again that trip. She writes me again saying she is pregnant once I return home. She never told me anything while I was there during the 2 nights and 2 days I was with her so again I think she is trying to keep me around with this story and I told her that she should not play games. I don't hear from her again.

My friends go to Thailand about 2 weeks ago and all of a sudden they are hearing all this shit (we run in the same circles) and "oh by the way she does look a bit bigger Joe". OH NO, WTF? Upon further questioning of my friends this is looking like the worst is actually happening.

She had birth control and I can't verify if she was taking them but they were definitely in her purse and I did remind her that she needs to take them. Yeah I am stupid also but WHY DID SHE NOT TELL ME WHEN I WAS THERE? DAMN.

Additional Information:

Everyone who knows her and knows me are corroborating her story.

****Yes she is a Pattaya bargirl.

****I am going to step up to this until I get contradicting info.

****She is 4-1/2 months now and will be 5 months when I get there.

****It is ultimately her decision as to what to do and I will provide support if all is true and this goes to term...

So... I buy a ticket for Thailand arriving in about 2 weeks and will get a pregnancy test at the hospital and find out the approximate time of conception.

However should we sit down and talk and decide some things, I need to have all my ducks in a row...

Please guys, some questions:

1) Assuming I am in the window of fatherhood as per her pregnancy test at a hospital, can I get a fetal DNA test right then and there?

2) Is there a time period where fetal DNA tests cannot be done (like in the mid fourth to fifth month)?

3) I understand Pattaya International will do a middle term abortion. Am I correct in this? Is there any other hospital that may provide the same type of service in or near Pattaya or Bangkok?

4) I understand Khlong Tan hospital may do these types of abortions also. Where are they? Am I better off in Bangkok to start all of this off???

I can take some comments on the chin but any suggestions above and beyond what I have already mentioned would be very welcome and very helpful.

Thanks in advance as I am going through the whole range of feelings at the moment and really need this information.

Joe

**MeMock** · 04-02-2007, 05:11 AM

Originally Posted by In Trouble

Please do not remind me of how stupid I am,

Ok I wont.

**William** · 04-02-2007, 07:34 AM

abortion is illegal in Thailand

you may find somehwere that does it, but (a) it won't be legit, per se (there are exemptions, but not for your case); and (b) as a Buddhist, it is unlikely the mother would consent. Normally she would rather give the kid away than abort. Have you thought about adoption?

**In Trouble** · 04-02-2007, 07:48 AM

I've thought about everything William but adoption does not come to the forefront. She seems very scared right now and I am too. I think we either go for the abortion or we figure this out and raise the child somehow. I am not going to marry her and she will have to raise the child there, at least for the first few years, then we can think about options of maybe bringing the child to my home country. Adoption does not seem like something that is going to be an alternative for me or her. I have gone far down the line with this in my thinking and besides beating myself up about it I have played out many scenarios in my mind and the most likely are abortion or raising the child and dealing with the situation.

I understand the illegality of an abortion but these things do go on for many reasons and further down the road than ours is time wise. She seems to have had the "Thai girl wide eyed in headlights" when it came to take action or make a decision and it all blew up on her (and me) when it was further down the road. From my take on it she needs me to be there and that I will be in about two weeks. Then we can sit down and talk this out face to face. I can also answer the question of pregnancy and time frame at that point.

Thanks for your understanding William.

**Rigger** · 04-02-2007, 08:02 AM

Originally Posted by In Trouble

abortion is illegal in Thailand

But you can get it done at most corner shops but at 5 months she is a long way gone . Dont beleive a word until you get a dna test get a private eye as she probably has a few guys being strung along getting milked. Have you sent her money ????

**In Trouble** · 04-02-2007, 08:07 AM

Have you sent her money ????

She has not asked for any, which is what scares me the most...

**slimboyfat** · 04-02-2007, 08:54 AM

just send her 5000 baht and the bus fare to bangkok. her friends should know where to go. if not then see the below thread.

https://teakdoor.com/health-fitness-a...-thailand.html

i knew that thread would help someone out sooner or later.

**In Trouble** · 04-02-2007, 09:05 AM

Thank you slimboy, I have read your thread and any other info I can on the various boards. I cannot just throw her 5k baht and expect this to take care of itself as her quiet demeanor has caused this to go so far (so I am assuming). This is real or I am a bad judge of character because she is not the kind of girl to do something like scam me (fully understanding that she is however a bargirl). The fact that she has not asked for anything in the way of money and the fact that she seemed very relieved that I am coming add to the realness of this. I have got to be there and see this for myself. If she wanted money for the procedure she would have asked for it. I need to know what the fcuk is going on before anything takes place and the best way is for me to be there. Not a big deal with the ticket as I have some miles stashed away so this trip is not a big drain on my finances. I do however need to spring into action as she has stated that she "cannot go home with this news" when I asked her to make sure she is around and not back home when I arrive... Slimboy how did your event turn out? How far along was she?

Thanks again.

**shehiredahitman** · 04-02-2007, 09:06 AM

I've just got home after too many pints & an 8 ball of crack so this isn't the opinion to go on & I'll read your post in more detail tomorrow but trust me man - she's lying.

If a fucko can see this so can you. I CA,E ONTO cme came onto this forum with allsorts of wacky ideas & these huys will put tou straight. They're sound.

I'm just hoping my connectuon's okay again but you'll see my pint & I'kl fill you in tommorrow.

**shehiredahitman** · 04-02-2007, 09:07 AM

Sorry, In T, I'm begin - forget it. Night

**slimboyfat** · 04-02-2007, 09:12 AM

the girl in question in my thread spent a few weeks telling me that she wanted to keep the baby as she loved me so much and it didnt matter if i stayed with her or took care of her or not. Then after a few weeks where i made it clear that i would not be taking care of her - then she changed her tune - and gladly accepted the 5000 baht plus bus fare.

have i been conned? possibly, but if so its only a matter of peanuts compared to the other consequences.

and as you say, time is not on your side.

**slimboyfat** · 04-02-2007, 09:14 AM

Originally Posted by shehiredahitman

I've just got home after too many pints & an 8 ball of crack so this isn't the opinion to go on & I'll read your post in more detail tomorrow but trust me man - she's lying.

If a fucko can see this so can you. I CA,E ONTO cme came onto this forum with allsorts of wacky ideas & these huys will put tou straight. They're sound.

I'm just hoping my connectuon's okay again but you'll see my pint & I'kl fill you in tommorrow.

CMN - this is why you stopped drinking

**Spin** · 04-02-2007, 09:38 AM

Originally Posted by In Trouble

She did so only when I was not very attentive to her emails

And there lies the answer.

The chances of the girl being pregnant and you been the father are pretty remote. This scenario is neither unique or new and is not one that you should worry too much over. I think your being lied to.

**RandomChances** · 04-02-2007, 10:23 AM

You seem to want to to the "right" thing which is admarable. Until you know for sure that she is pregnant and the baby is yours there's not much you can do. If an aborsion is avalible even though at 5 months is a bit late, I think I would go for it.

Even if you keep sending money to look after it, the child will probaly end up back home with a grandparent or relitive while the mother goes back to work and thers no way of knowing wether the money you actually send will go for care of the child. Any future prospects the mother may have of finding a husband will be severaly hinderd by her already having a half falang child. How old is she ? has she been previously married, aleady got kids ect

**Thetyim** · 04-02-2007, 10:41 AM

I will probably get slated for this but I don't care.

She is a bargirl. You bought out your responsibilty when you paid her.
Send her money for the abortion if you like but don't start thinking that you have a duty here.

**Rigger** · 04-02-2007, 10:54 AM

Originally Posted by Thetyim

I will probably get slated for this but I don't care. She is a bargirl. You bought out your responsibilty when you paid her. Send her money for the abortion if you like but don't start thinking that you have a duty here.

I agree
she was paid to give you a service not to have a baby. Stuff her
Never contact her again would be your best option

**Marmite the Dog** · 04-02-2007, 12:07 PM

Originally Posted by Thetyim

She is a bargirl. You bought out your responsibilty when you paid her. Send her money for the abortion if you like but don't start thinking that you have a duty here.

Totally. Bung her some cash if you feel really guilty, otherwise tell her to fuck off. Asian girls love this Western ideal of doing the 'right thing' and they will bleed you dry on it. Don't do the 'right thing', it's really not worth it.

watterinja · 04-02-2007, 12:18 PM

If you are abroad - don't bother - you've been set up.

**stroller** · 04-02-2007, 12:45 PM

Chances are it's a hoax, I agree.

If you're really, really concerned, take the route of confirming the pregnacy and going for the DNA test and see it as an investment for your future peace of mind and a learning experience.
Make sure you protect yourself, the simple fact of your continued concern could be turned against you later, if there is a child, even if you're not the father.

**blackgang** · 04-02-2007, 01:17 PM

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

Originally Posted by Thetyim

She is a bargirl. You bought out your responsibilty when you paid her. Send her money for the abortion if you like but don't start thinking that you have a duty here.

Totally. Bung her some cash if you feel really guilty, otherwise tell her to fuck off. Asian girls love this Western ideal of doing the 'right thing' and they will bleed you dry on it. Don't do the 'right thing', it's really not worth it.

If you went to a whore house in any other country in the world and later heard that the whore that you fucked had came up knocked up would you go to the extremes of finding out if you were the guy that did the deed??

I don't think so, as has been already stated more than once, she was hired for a service, she did it, and you paid. End of story..

Damn, why do they let these guys that should have stayed at home go to exotic places and fuck it up for the next generation??

**man with no head** · 04-02-2007, 01:41 PM

Paid for sex? Not your worry. That's the risk that comes with the job. If she said she got AIDS from you would you start sending $$$$ to cover the treatment?

Oldest trick in the book.

A girlfriend? Different story all together.

**lom** · 04-02-2007, 02:08 PM

You had unprotected sex with her so you are also responsible for her pregnancy. You are doing the right thing by coming over here and sorting it out.

**MeMock** · 04-02-2007, 02:53 PM

I am pissing myself laughing reading this......Hey i have an idea...why not never sleep with a prostitute.....nah to hard it seems....

**hillbilly** · 04-02-2007, 03:31 PM

In Trouble,

This thread will run for awhile, maybe...

However, hillbilly thinks something is not quite right.

For example the Klong Tan 'abortion clinic' has now been a condo for several years...

**dirtydog** · 04-02-2007, 03:35 PM

Originally Posted by MeMock

Hey i have an idea...why not never sleep with a prostitute

Do you suffer from a low sex drive? Have trouble getting it up? then why not try Viagra

shouldn't allow christians to post in these sort of threads

if we were all like you memock these poor girls would be starving, luckily some of us have a bit of humanity left in them and frequent these sort of places to help the poor and needy, time to ressurect the short time bar thread

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