Thread: Fast food dilemmas: the pizza or kebab quandary

What happened to the traditional British Paki curry gulped down on the way home from the pub?

Originally Posted by stroller

British Paki curry

Many Pakistani curry houses masquerade as Indian curry houses, just as Chinese restaurants masquerading as Thai in the U.K.

The average punter does not know the difference.

I'm hungry now, and all I got is a can of sardines. Fuckers..

I'd sell my soul for a kebab or an anchovie pizza

Originally Posted by somtamslap

When the mind wants pizza but the heart craves a kebab.

This age-old conundrum has been plighting pissheads up and down the British Isles since the introduction of the first kebab house (1966, Stoke Newington, London) and the inaugural pizza parlour venture (about the same time, in the same city).

The mind plays on erstwhile mozzarella and pepperoni action, while the heart, the heart aches for saturated fat coated in a chilli sauce whose components, one might surmise, were pieced together in Beelzebub's back passage.

What to do, what to do? It's the defining Friday/Saturday/any fucking day dilemma...

Well, it was.

For now, the good people at my local pizzeria have concocted a quite tremendous melange of traditional British fast food.

Get this:

A pizza, and a kebab - presented as one glorious wedge of calorific joy, complete with flesh of a dubious origin, jalapenos, red onions, the option of chilli sauce, and tomatoes.

Abdul has just made himself a mate.

I'm off to the fridge. Only Stella of the Artois persuasion possesses the refreshing qualities with which to wash this fucker down with.

Just imagine how much better it could had been if you had ordered it with extra everything.
And make that a double.

Originally Posted by somtamslap

Withnall, whilst placing your penis in betwixt the sliced pitta, does the chilli sauce not burn the bell-end? Or is this simply the wont of a masochistic food fucker? Anyway. Nice looking pizza innit.

It's one of his Masonic rituals innit.

Originally Posted by Moped Man

Originally Posted by kingwilly

Originally Posted by withnallstoke

Keebabs are a very dangerous substitute for a real girlfriend.

Bullshit, I never read an article about a kebab stabbing or shooting a husband but I know (of) plenty of gals that have done that.

You are consorting with the wrong people willy. Withnail has learned the hard way about safe sex with kebabs.

Moped Man strikes again.

Originally Posted by Black Heart

Moped Man strikes again.

Since you have aligned yourself with Piwiannoy, your IQ has dropped 20 points and your credibility on here is now in negative equity.
Next time you choose a partner in stupidity try for someone who knows what day it is. Good luck with the research on that dummy.

Gluttony isn't a sin have both.