Thread: Master Chef TeakDoor 2014

Praise be. A fucking egg at last.

And two rather fine specimens, Necron, I must say.

This will obviously be entered into the fried egg strand of the tournament.

If I was to nit-pick I'd deduct points for the charred edges, but overall a stalwart culinary performance.

8 Masterslaps out of 10.

Originally Posted by MissTraveller

Sorry necron, that looks gross to me. The egg looks good, but not the sandwich. I'm not a huge red meat eater. Good effort though!

Will be posting my omelette soon....
It'll be crazy to know that watered protein eggs aren't so bad.. lol.

Why not use real eggs?

Originally Posted by Koojo

Why not use real eggs?

They daren't give inmates real eggs incase they cut themselves with the shells.







(Only joking MT)

Originally Posted by somtamslap

Praise be. A fucking egg at last.

And two rather fine specimens, Necron, I must say.

This will obviously be entered into the fried egg strand of the tournament.

If I was to nit-pick I'd deduct points for the charred edges, but overall a stalwart culinary performance.

8 Masterslaps out of 10.

Initially, I wanted to deduct at least one point because of the excessive use of salad in a manly meal, but the beer chang brought me to change my mind.

8 Masterslaps it is indeed.

Alright, as promised...

I didn't use real eggs (even though it is real eggs in powdered form go figure). I am on the Ideal Protein diet now for four months and use a lot of their powdered protein food. I recommend that diet to anyone (low carb) wanting to shed some poundage. I lost like 40 pounds in less than 4 months recently.

Anyhooo...

This is the package I used..herb and cheese omelette.



Mixed it with 250 ml of water and shook it good.



Cut and cleaned some veggies.


Fry veggies for about five minutes.


Add in egg mixture..


Took a photo of the view from my back kitchen window....lovely snow and ice..lol.


Let it cook for about five minutes on high..


Try to turn it in half which is always tricky as it falls apart and then looks like scrambled omelet.



The end product..somewhat tasty. I also add a teaspoon of Italian dressing.

I hope it's true what they say about looks not being everything.

Miss T has plated a dish here that emphatically shouts 'I refuse to pander to repressive bourgeois culinary ideals'.

6 Masterslaps out of 10.

Points deducted for making me vomit in my mouth.



Was the liquefied egg what done it.

Originally Posted by Necron99

It looked like a herd of bulls had gang raped a flock of chickens in a bakery...

Originally Posted by Necron99

The eggs are done in the impressionist style.

I've yet to see something edible on this thread!

Eggs 'Charlesque' will be here very soon.

I was about to cook an omlette but realised I was missing tomatoes so I'll wait until tomorrow.

Powdered eggs? Does she live in a war zone refugee type place? A wee bit of snow is nothing,

Real eggs are good for you, unless you're slap and have to run around the garden chased by snakes and cats and FIL to collect them.

But in the end i am sure they are yummy in the tummy.

Originally Posted by Neocron99

burnt round the edges, looks 'orrible.

Originally Posted by MissTraveller

Alright, as promised...

I didn't use real eggs (even though it is real eggs in powdered form go figure). I am on the Ideal Protein diet now for four months and use a lot of their powdered protein food. I recommend that diet to anyone (low carb) wanting to shed some poundage. I lost like 40 pounds in less than 4 months recently.

Anyhooo...

This is the package I used..herb and cheese omelette.



Mixed it with 250 ml of water and shook it good.



Cut and cleaned some veggies.


Fry veggies for about five minutes.


Add in egg mixture..


Took a photo of the view from my back kitchen window....lovely snow and ice..lol.


Let it cook for about five minutes on high..


Try to turn it in half which is always tricky as it falls apart and then looks like scrambled omelet.



The end product..somewhat tasty. I also add a teaspoon of Italian dressing.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT ?

Packaged eggs ? You moron, they come packaged, in a shell!

Originally Posted by Kurgen

No doubt I'll be called a chat for using white mans magic, AKA a grill

Nope, but you are a girl.

Originally Posted by Kurgen

Righto, here's my breakfast omlette.

Here's the ingredients,



Throw it all the pan


No doubt I'll be called a chat for using white mans magic, AKA a grill.


Here's the nicely browned 3 egg omlette A La Kurgen


No I don't sup beer for breakfast but as you're handing points out for grog, I see you your Chang and raise you a Stella.

Definitely greenworthy.

A full 10 masterslaps for that Kurgen.

These Masterslaps are a hot spatula at force over the naked back, quickly followed by the cheese grater and a splash of tabasco, and comitted by the other chefs on here right ?

Here's how you got your 10 stars Kurgen

1, Tomato is same colour as eggs
2, you bought the gayest mildest cheese that vintage produce
3, not having the balls to toss the omelette
4, LFC
5, knife and fork the wrong side
6, being a Scouser who doesnt eat rats from bins
7, Not opening the Stella
8, kitchen's too fukkin tidy
9, LFC
10, No fukkin HP or Daddies

wheres that Plat when you need him ?

^ Add another one for having fookin Stella in the first place.

That's not an omelette, just some stuff thrown in a pan and shoved under the grill.

1, Tomato is same colour as eggs
2, you bought the gayest mildest cheese that vintage produce
3, not having the balls to toss the omelette
4, LFC
5, knife and fork the wrong side
6, being a Scouser who doesnt eat rats from bins
7, Not opening the Stella
8, kitchen's too fukkin tidy
9, LFC
10, No fukkin HP or Daddies

Far Q Silly Dilly, I'll reply

1, bollox ya colour blind old coont, see an optician.
2, Far call wrong with that cheese.
3, hmmm, I've got wankers cramp.
4, you still haven't revealed your true colours.
5, I dont eat from the worktop, I laid the table correctly when I got there.
6, I probably have when drunk.
7, It's garnish.
8, I prefer not to live in shite.
9, Refer to #4 and GFY.
10, Not with lashings of Tabasco, you cretin.

Cheese omelette, home fries, sausage and bacon.

^ That looks great.
What's this?

I see potatoes and onions.
Is that tomatoe?

Shame we're only judging the eggs here AO, or you'd be on to a winner.

That ommelete is overdone and it's not even finished cooking yet IMO

That's old hat AO and you know it!
Been in the dinner/breakfast thread for weeks.

Here's what I 'knocked up' this morning.
I busted the yolk so you could see it wasn't overdone.





The perfect poached egg.

BTW. A hint of melted butter to the side of the egg...That's what it was poached in.

Cutting the crusts off is upper-class gay.

What is that black stuff with a cat's paw print on it?

^ You know fook all about fine dining, do you?

One of the finest slices of black pudding available in the whole of Asia. That's what it fookin' is!


And I haven't even started on the 'Eggs Charlesque' yet.