My Splendid Cock

**helge** · 15-12-2023, 01:35 PM

Originally Posted by Mendip

I don't think this is anything more than establishing the pecking order

Good to hear.

The other scenario is nasty

Originally Posted by Mendip

I have found that having a dominant cock helps to keep the hens under control.

Glad to hear that you found some use for it.

Have a nice trip

**Mendip** · 15-12-2023, 04:24 PM

Originally Posted by Topper

^ nice cocks!

I'm glad you said 'cocks' plural, or this thread could have got a bit weird.

When these new hens come to us they have never eaten anything green before. In fact, I don't think they even realise that it's food.

And they're not even Scottish.

As Lolita seems to be a bit timid I took her up on my lap again today to coax her into eating some cabbage.

She soon took to it like a duck to water.

**Mendip** · 17-12-2023, 03:09 PM

40 hens, 4 eggs.

Something doesn't add up...

**Bettyboo** · 17-12-2023, 03:22 PM

^ Maybe your cock doesn't give out as much as it needs to? Have you spoken to your wife about this?

Mendip, when you're on the oil/gas platform and/or boat, in the moments or boredom, do you talk to the other fellas about your splendid cock(s) - perhaps show some pictures?

**Mendip** · 17-12-2023, 03:36 PM

^ Nothing but smut and innuendo.

Has this forum really sunk so low?

If it's really of interest, the wife is more than happy with my big white cock but she reckons that Nelson is pretty good as well.

**DrWilly** · 17-12-2023, 08:07 PM

Originally Posted by Mendip

If it's really of interest, the wife is more than happy with my big white cock but she reckons that Nelson is pretty good as well.

once every six months or everyday?

**Reg Dingle** · 20-12-2023, 02:16 AM

Originally Posted by Mendip

40 hens, 4 eggs.

Something doesn't add up

Have you gave any thought to sharing your nice big splendid white cock over the festive period mate,? Be great to see some pics or live videolink of your family, gardener, PJG and Yogi slathering all over it on that outdoor dining table.
I'd be up for getting some of your splendid cock down me too, if the invite is there of course, seeing as its illegal in the UK nowadays

What is Capon? How to Cook Capon | D'''Artagnan

**Mendip** · 20-12-2023, 08:56 AM

Originally Posted by Reg Dingle

I'd be up for getting some of your splendid cock down me too, if the invite is there of course

This thread has just got a bit weird for me.

All I was trying to do was share some experience of keeping hens in Thailand while showing how the girls interact with my cock.

And I get comments like this?

**Stumpy** · 20-12-2023, 09:04 AM

Originally Posted by Mendip

showing how the girls interact with my cock.

Girls.

. Oh you mean your Hens.

Clearly based on your Hen to Egg output I wouldn't go in thr egg business. You can't get enough to keep yourself from starving.

**DrWilly** · 20-12-2023, 09:06 AM

Cock not working?

**Mendip** · 20-12-2023, 09:18 AM

The activity of my cock is irrelevent to egg production.

My problem is that I'm too soft. Most of our hens are too old to lay eggs and are now enjoying their retirement. Many of the wild jungle fowl hens keep going broody and then stop laying.

Battery hens and most free range hens are turned into soup at 18 months age when egg production drops off, but I let ours live out their twighlight years in the chicken run.

**cyrille** · 20-12-2023, 10:01 AM

Originally Posted by Mendip

The activity of my cock is irrelevent to egg production.

My problem is that I'm too soft.

And your word choices seem to set people off somewhat.

**DrWilly** · 20-12-2023, 10:20 AM

Soft and my cock are probably not good combinations.

**helge** · 20-12-2023, 12:35 PM

What's the difference between 3 cocks and a joke ?

**Edmond** · 20-12-2023, 01:01 PM

Originally Posted by helge

What's the difference between 3 cocks and a joke ?

Your mum can't take a jo.... go on, what is it?

**helge** · 20-12-2023, 01:06 PM

Originally Posted by Edmond

Your mum can't take a jo.... go on, what is it?

Almost had it

Willy can't take a joke

^^^

**Bettyboo** · 20-12-2023, 01:28 PM

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Mendip has an endearingly handsome white cock; not sure about it's efficacy though...

**DrWilly** · 20-12-2023, 04:41 PM

Originally Posted by helge

Almost had it

Willy can't take a joke

^^^

Absolute side splitter. Way funnier than Ismo.

**helge** · 20-12-2023, 05:05 PM

Originally Posted by DrWilly

Absolute side splitter.

Easy on the cocks, Pervy

**BLD** · 20-12-2023, 07:04 PM

Cock a Doodle do.

**Mendip** · 27-12-2023, 05:31 PM

^ Let's keep this thread clean, guys.

This morning I checked up on my big white cock and it was looking distinctly grubby.

I don't usually worry overmuch about this because I know that a good dust bath will rid my cock of any mites and parasites that could affect it's general health and performance.

I have to say that my cock appeared to be in complete ecstasy while writhing around in the mud with one of the girls.

And after the bath... as good as new.

Been there!

I'm wise about many cock ailments and decided to check up on my big white cock again, later in the day. You just can't be too careful.

As usual, it was looking absolutely splendid, and there's Nelson looking on, in the background.

And performance...? Needless to say, no problem.

Without hopefully sounding too 'Royal', I must admit that I do wonder about the colour of the offspring from a union between a Ginger and a Whitey? Pale Ginger? Magnolia maybe?

Anyway, it was all too much for Lolita who hopped up onto my knee for some sanctuary and comfort while 'Whitey' was marauding. His latest conquest was one of her fellow 'Christmas rescue hens' and they're still way too young for this kind of treatment. They haven't even started laying eggs yet!

And who says that life in Isaan is boring... you've just gotta make your own fun. We spent a good 30 minutes doing 'chicken selfies', and chicken selfies ain't easy. Their head movements are so quick and jerky, and non-sinusoidal (like an ROV

) that good, in-focus pictures are a nightmare.

But we managed...

My big white cock now seems to have a permanent place in the family. It doesn't contest Nelson's position and the flock seem to be in good harmony, and so I'm now thinking of a name. 'Whitey' is the obvious choice but a bit boring. I'm thinking of the 'silver fox' angle, and maybe 'Peter' after Peter Stringfellow?

Anyway, no rush.

Nelson is still the king.

**Shutree** · 27-12-2023, 06:10 PM

Originally Posted by Mendip

My big white cock now seems to have a permanent place in the family. It doesn't contest Nelson's position and the flock seem to be in good harmony, and so I'm now thinking of a name. 'Whitey' is the obvious choice but a bit boring. I'm thinking of the 'silver fox' angle, and maybe 'Peter' after Peter Stringfellow?

Maybe set up a TD poll? Although he might end up being named Toffee.

How about Chantecleer, after the central character in The Nun's Priest's Tale? He wasn't white, he was 'burned gold', but he was an English cock and he had seven hens. I am sure I recall a line about how he 'feathered fair Pertelote twenty time', although 55 years after reading it I could easily be wrong and I cannot find that line now. I'm sure you'll know the story:

2864 And lyk the burned gold was his colour.
And like the burnished gold was his color.
2865 This gentil cok hadde in his governaunce
This gentle cock had in his governance
2866 Sevene hennes for to doon al his plesaunce,
Seven hens to do all his pleasure,

Edit: Found it:

He fethered Pertelote twenty tyme,
And trad as ofte, er that it was pryme.

**Topper** · 27-12-2023, 06:21 PM

What about Cochrane to your Nelson?

**Mendip** · 27-12-2023, 06:26 PM

Originally Posted by Shutree

Maybe set up a TD poll? Although he might end up being named Toffee.

How about Chantecleer, after the central character in The Nun's Priest's Tale? He wasn't white, he was 'burned gold', but he was an English cock and he had seven hens. I am sure I recall a line about how he 'feathered fair Pertelote twenty time', although 55 years after reading it I could easily be wrong and I cannot find that line now. I'm sure you'll know the story:

2864 And lyk the burned gold was his colour.
And like the burnished gold was his color.
2865 This gentil cok hadde in his governaunce
This gentle cock had in his governance
2866 Sevene hennes for to doon al his plesaunce,
Seven hens to do all his pleasure,

You know Shutree, I really value some academic input to this thread after all the constant Kindergarten smut and innuendo.

I know that you guys are out there, and I do 'reach out' (a new woke saying that I absolutely abhor), but only Shutree responds.

Anyway, where were we... Oh, 'Chanteceer' has gone to top of the polls. I will test out this new nomenclature on the gardener on the morrow, although I already know his answer.

And there was me thinking he'd be called 'Cow'... (khuo...khao... etc etc?

Maybe we can abbreviate to 'Cant'?

**Shutree** · 27-12-2023, 06:27 PM

Cocky McCockface?

Thread: My Splendid Cock

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