A book: Once upon a time in the East - Hot and sticky yarns from rural Siam

[withnallstoke]

Does "the farmer" farm livestock or grain?

Livestock and i'm in, grain and you can stuff it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you're doing it!

[kingwilly]

Are you ducking the farmer withnal?

[baldrick]

Right, I need actors

can I be a ya-ba'd yoof on a dodgy 1970's honda with a buckled rear wheel ?

I will practice my delivery of " you , you , falang "

[withnallstoke]

Are you ducking the farmer withnal?

I am not the ducking farmer.

[kingwilly]

But you are fucking him?

[somtamslap]

Livestock and i'm in, grain and you can stuff it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you're doing it!

If I livestocked you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday pwesent.

[somtamslap]

Wrong thread.

Fanastic thread this one though.

[Bettyboo]

I enjoyed book 1 so much that I only read half. It was a very quick read (which is a sign of a good book), so I had to stop meself from finishing it in a few short days because I wanted to read the rest in Thailand, in the countryside with Pa and Mere around.

When is book 2 coming out?

[somtamslap]

I enjoyed book 1 so much that I only read half.

You mean you're yet to read the earth-shattering finale? The bit where Por dons a frilly frock, bends over and get smashed senseless by a buff... I'll let you read on Betsy.

Next book - set in Clawthorpe Fell nature reserve. Goes by 'On the trail of the Gruffalo'

Stay tuned.

[withnallstoke]

Oi slapper ya Nigerian bastard.

How many did you flog?

[somtamslap]

^ Seven at last count.

[withnallstoke]

Seven at last count.

Splendid.


I might get one.

[somtamslap]

I was hoping someone might.

Struggling with the rent this month.

[Bettyboo]

I was thinking of putting my book on Amazon too. Any advice Scribe Slaps?

[somtamslap]

Any advice Scribe Slaps

Yes, Betsy. Heed this and heed it well: A fully erect penis does not a good front cover make.

[Bettyboo]

^ my front cover is somewhere between this:



and this:



Whatcha think? Onto a winner?

[kingwilly]

Mongolian wrestler, for sure.

slaps. Book 2.

Hurry da fark up.

stop posting till it's done.

[somtamslap]

Gotta have your critics. Making people foam at the mouth is one of the perks I suppose...

Illiterate scribblings drawn from the lexicon of cliche, and is to literature what a mustard burp is to gastronomy.

Amazon publishing has a lot to answer for but the truly worrying aspect of all this nonsense is the fact the author is so blinded by his own conceit he actually thinks we might find this drivel worthwhile. How could anyone be so stupid?

I should imagine his readership will be confined to the lower end who mostly derive their income from hard labour and who, of course, are not noted for their literacy.

Dreadful, quite dreadful. Toilet graffiti has more merit than this re- cycled, hackneyed, unimaginative tosh.

[ChiangMai noon]

It's got to be said, it ain't that good.

[somtamslap]

I should imagine his readership

Including you, ya fucking spanner

[Dillinger]

That's the gent that is.

What a couple of Cnuts, him and that sneaky fukkin Welsh dwarf

[Iceman123]

It's got to be said, it ain't that good.

Alas the truth stings. It is crap!

[chassamui]

Toilet graffiti

"My mother made me a queer".

"If I give her the wool, will she knit me one"?

[somtamslap]

Ho hum...

Can't win 'em all.

Toilet graffiti

He does have a point though...



It makes for scintillating reading.

[charleyboy]

I agree with Dillie.


A complete giveaway...

mustard burp