Emergency - Please Help

[Thetyim]

^ Mate of mine married a filipino girl.
Her father made a huge sacrifice at the wedding and gave him his prize buffalo. He knew full well that they were leaving for the UK in a fortnight.

[kingwilly]

This is probably a troll with some truth to it.
I don't think scamp is in the poition he is saying he is in but he might be close.

scamp, trolling or nearly trolling or being totally honest, you are a fukking pretty entertaining though.

you never saydat abt my threads.....

[mrsquirrel]

Stop being so fucking nice about it and call him a cnut.

You are a cnut scamp.

Can you imagine having your daughters BF move in nail your daughter for a few weeks then fuck off?

They will hunt you down and kill you.

[Marmite the Dog]

you never saydat abt my threads.....

That's because no one can understand what you're saying usually.

[Marmite the Dog]

You are a cnut scamp.

I quite like him.

Sorry Mrs Q.

[mrsquirrel]

I quite like him. Sorry Mrs Q.

Maybe if he hadn't been such a cnut towards this nice girl he met then I would like him. All he has shown is that he is a pathetic little wank stain who can't do anything without trying to take the piss out of people.

I nearly made the same mistake years ago with a Dutch girl. She had just turned 18 I broke her in. Her mum was happy with this and invited us to live together at her family home. I decided that it would be a right cntish thing to do if I got bored and fucked off after a few months or things had to get a bit more serious.

it was a rather strange situation as well. Her mother couldn't get off the sofa due to back pains and her father had only one little toe and a middle toe left (on different feet) after an industrial accident.

I was nice about it and just didn't get the plane. Left them waiting at the airport. Didn't bring shame on the family like Scampy has.

[mad_dog]

Look one of the key factors in getting into a relationship with any lass is: "can she support herself/family" if you can be bothered to do so then fine. But don't be taken for a meal ticket me lad!

[dirtydog]

I was nice about it and just didn't get the plane. Left them waiting at the airport.

How romantic..........

[britmaveric]

Look one of the key factors in getting into a relationship with any lass is: "can she support herself/family" if you can be bothered to do so then fine. But don't be taken for a meal ticket me lad!

Isn't Sandra supporting the family with her job?

[slimboyfat]

i am surprised the mother wants her daughter to marry some balding circus worker anyway. she must be very understanding

[Thetyim]

^ Very True

[Fast Eddie]

You should have never lived/stayed with the family as a "boyfriend."

You are the talk of the town!

You said there are no other Farangs anywhere near.

So, people and familiies that live 5 KM away know that this lady has met a Farang who is living/staying with the family.

Duh...you know what this means.

Come on!!

You should have never gotten into this situation!!

You should have stayed in a hotel, far away.

Or better yet, never have met the family if you're not gong to marry her.

Put you Western attitude where it belongs - not in Asia.

You are using the Western mind-set in the Eastern world.


Come on!!!!

I'm in agreement with this, and a little surprised that a guy with experience in these parts would find himself in this situation.

Still, i don't suppose criticism of what has already transpired is much use to Scampy at this moment in time.

As others have already said, the answer is to get out, take Sandra with you, and give yourselves a bit of space to decide if this relationship is one you are both genuinely interested in. You can't make any important and rational decisions about this while you are living under her parents roof, and it must be a hundred times harder for her.

And your mother's right, Sandra does need to grow a spine of her own where her mothers concerned, or your relationship is completely doomed anyway, don't you think?

[thaibook]

And your mother's right, Sandra does need to grow a spine of her own where her mothers concerned, or your relationship is completely doomed anyway, don't you think?

Yea, look how bad it is now - imagine how bad it is going to be once your married if she doesn't stand up to her mother...just some food for thought...

[watterinja]

This staunch morally-upright Catholic mother of a former prostitute, living in Hong Kong, & shouting the odds, is quite confusing.

Why is she in HK again?

[raycarey]

Why is she in HK again?

she's living well in HK because she cleaned out some rube in mukhdahan.

[The Gentleman Scamp]

I've got engaged to her.

The way I see it (now that the initial panic is over) is that it was my decision four months ago to attempt to get to know her and break that barrier of disinterest that she protected herself with, (as a challenge more than a conquest) - and to show her not all us men were unpleasant and see if I could get her to really like me.

There were times she was extreemly difficult and childish and due to my own lack of confidence and cynicism there were times I thought I was being used or taken for a ride - hence mrsquirrels knee-jerk dennouncement of my apparent pisstake or photographic exposure on this forum. She has read most of what I posted and given me Chinese burns for a couple of my posts but perhaps she was just curious why I would be so public about my life - and my theory is that I see many of you as cyber friends and aquaintances who I can discuss this with as those with no experience of Asia would not relate to any of it and judge the obvious.

Would I really be better off returning to a life of drifting and instability, hangovers and sleeping around, worrying about my stuff getting nicked and where I will live/work next?

And yes, I am balding too and though it has been a 'slow cook' love as opposed to a rushed in head over heels thing, I will marry her probably in July - we are now engaged.

If I did a runner as mrsquirrel assumes I am cnut enough to do (an assumption which has, among other comments earned him my first red repo nomination) - then Sandra would be beaten up by her dad, maybe worse than she would if he ever found out what she was really doing in Hong Kong.

So, I am going to face this responsibility like a man instead of running away all my life. Sha may not be a soulmate, but VERY few people even meet their soulmate let alone are lucky enough to marry one.

She's a great girl, funny, a great mother to her niece, I love the way she hates her country's corruption, I love the way she feels the need to tickle me when I make her laugh and I love the way she prounounces the word scissors - 'see saws'.

I respect her family, a couple of which say I am nice but very negative and always expecting the worst.

So, I'm going to stay with her and make it the best partnership I can, I believe I can learn a lot about myself and we can make each other better people.

It is my responsibility and better than that, it now feels ok... I get the occasional wave of panic or doubt but I must get over that. I can't be 'on holiday' forever and now is as good a time as any to grow up.

Thanks for all comments, almost all of you - despite your varying opinions, most of you have advised what you believe to be best for me, and in a couple of posts 'us'.

Hope to see some of you in June when I come to Thailand when my visa runs out on the 3rd. I have to get my DVD's from Splitlid in Hua Hin, some old photos of mine from Bluecat's in Bangkok (if is wife hasn't binned them) and attend my ex girlfriend and honarary sister Noy's wedding in Samui on the 25th.

I will call Sandra every night and leave some of my most sentimental valuables so she doesn't worry that I won't return... I also intend to make it my first time in Thailand without getting laid - this is far better.

[Butterfly]

^ no honey moon in Thailand with your wife ?

[RandomChances]

If thats your desicion then I sincerly wish you both the best of luck and hope it works out in the long term.

I also intend to make it my first time in Thailand without getting laid

Yep....sure

[Marmite the Dog]

Get yourself a job. You'll probably be up to your ears in kids before the end of the year at the rate you're going.

Anyway; good luck, despite me thinking you're a fool.

[The Gentleman Scamp]

^ no honey moon in Thailand with your wife ?

It wouldn't be fair for her if we go somewhere where I will want to meet up with friends all the time who she doesn't know.

Somewhere neutral neither of us know - perhaps Olangapo or Boracay.

I'll take her to Thailand in November if the funfair will have us. We can both save cash for 4 months, she can do what she wants with hers and I will take us both to England for a month or so with mine.

[stroller]

So I hope I'll be invited to practise my Tagalog on a San Fernando wedding party!

All the best with this dramatic change in your life, as Marmers says, get a regular job and stick to it.
Naught wrong with becoming 'normal' for a period in yer life.

[britmaveric]

Why do I feel a slow moving train wreck coming??

[watterinja]

^ Because it is happening in slow-motion real time.

[obsidian]

you are entering hell

[ozman]

/\ Right on.