The Bangers Post carries a syndicated Advice column from a lady by the name of Margo Howard.
Hmm a real honey.
Some of her advice troubles me a little as in the following exerpt from today's Post:
Is this good advice?Dear Prudence: My husband and I live in a condo. My husband has become overly friendly with a divorced woman who lives nearby. I am not friends with this woman.
He does all her hanyman work free, hangs out with her outside and goes over her place to see her. There is definitely flirting going on. Once, after we'd been away for a while, he hugged her and kissed her on the lips.
I have made my husband aware of the fact that I am not comfortable with his relationship with this woman, but he continues with the same behavior.
Do you think this is appropriate behavior for a married man?
Frustrated.
Dear Frus: Appropriate? You caught him! If most women saw their spouse hugging and kissing a nieghbour on the lips after a trip, a good guess would be that the guy's life wouldn't be worth a plug nickel.
Prudie suggests you tell your geezer to move his handyman agt into the woman's condo because you're kicking him out of yours. Than engage a lawyer and decide whether or not you want seperate maintenance or a divorce.
Because you say you are retired, you are not kids, and the old boy is clearly bored or crackers. In neither case should you be the victim of his brazen behavior. His shenanigans are too in-your-face, and you need no longer be a doormat.
Prudie appropriately
The old guy's getting a last sly one in before it shrinks away to a plastic tube and Prudie's advice is "kick him out and get a lawyer"
I thought about it and decided "Pooly thinks you and your advice suck Margo!"
Let's read between the lines in this case. Whats the truth?
So after 50 years as a successful salesman in real estate, insurance and in his last 10 years manger of his own car franchise, Bob and Beryl have settled in Florida in a delightful retirees condo.
Bob, being a salesman, has always had a way with people, the gift of the gab and it's that gift that got him the readies to buy that condo Beryl, should you forget. Bob's always been surrounded by laughing faces and hugs and kisses, it's all part of the act.
Beryl on the other hand was a typist before being a mother. She would spend her days cooking and cleaning and after the birth of the little ones, taking care of the family. Bob's work kept him away from home more than usual but there was good food on the table and money in the bank, so Beryl feels the sacrifice was worth it.
Here they are, in their sixties, with nothing to do all day but relax. Beryl, after years at home do little more than relaxing after the children had left home is comfortable in the new surroundings. She can do a little housework, tend to her small garden and go out with the girls for a spritzer in the afternoon. She's content.
Bob, on the other hand, has led a busy, social life. Slowing down doesn't come easy to him, his motto has always been "Don't stop till you seal the deal!"
His whole life has revolved around conning and scamming and manipulating people and congratulating himself when the deal is done. It's a drug he can't give up. So is porking the old girl in no.85. Butter her up with some nonsense, slip her a quickie and then off to the golf club to tell the fellas how it was done.
We can see that there is little emotional connection between Bob and Beryl.
Bob has had Beryl eating out of his hand for years and, for the most part, Beryl knows and accepts this.
What is the present conflict?
Bob's infidelity?
Not likely, what has he been doing 3 or 4 nights a week for the last 40 years?
No, the issue is his visibility, his in-your-face activities. To be certain, Beryl was prompted to write this letter because one of her 'so-called' friends made an all to obvious referrence at the last bridge evening.
Loss of face, as we in Thailand would say!
What advice should be given to Beryl?
"Prudie suggests you tell your geezer to move his handyman agt into the woman's condo because you're kicking him out of yours. Than engage a lawyer and decide whether or not you want seperate maintenance or a divorce."
Hmm...........very bad advice Margo.
Bob knows only to well what he did to get the money to fund their retirement.
Do you think for a minute he's a man of scruples?
Do you think he wouldn't stoop low to protect himself and his property?
Think long and hard about this Beryl. Old people fall over, you know. One day fine and dandy, next day "did you hear about Beryl? Took a turn in the shower and fell over and banged her head on the toilet. Never regained consciousness, poor thing"
No Bezza luv, you've got 2 choices.
First you can accept the situation and try and play it into your hands. Bob going to be shagging Milly as often as he can. In part he likes the deception, fooling you, so your first step is to calmly, and I mean calmly, let him know that you're well aware of what's going on. There can be no hint of emotion, anger or jealousy in fact you must let him know you're playing him!!
He'll respond to this. Next, you need to start flirting with him yourself, give his nob a squeeze. next time he pecks you on the cheek and says he's off to golf or something. and say with a naughty look in your eye "You're not taking the python over to Millie's, are you?"
Of course by now, you're probably getting the idea that sex may be back on the roster! How long has it been? Have a sherry or two too many one night and get a little close while watching the tennis and start playing with his nob.
If you're not too affected by the sherry, give him a blow-job, this will have the effect of rocking his confidence and also at his age emptying his balls and dousing the fire, so to speak. If you can't be arsed with intercourse any longer, a quick flick of the wrist three night's a week will make a big difference
The second option involves a similar tack but in a different direction.
Make your selfd known to Milly. Become her friend. Invite her to your afternoon teas and your bridge nights. Get her drunk and make a move on her!
A couple of old girls a bit tipsy in the spa together it's almost natural.
Then go home and tell Bob you doing the lesbian thingo with his squeeze.
He may be put off her because his game's no longer working or.....you'll be up for a threesome
Either way Beryl, you're an old girl and your mission in life now should be getting sozzled at a respectable hour each day and banging on about the kids.
If the old fella wants to roger other old wrinklies, so what. It's 2005 for ****'s sake. It's what we do!
Pooly!