Prison over a toilet holder...

**hillbilly** · 26-11-2007, 12:44 PM

A few days ago the 8-year old daughter asked about her toilet paper. "What" I said. "How come I don't have the same thing you and mom do?" she asked.

Damn it, she is right. About 2-3 years ago we had remodeled the home and sure enough we had not included her toilet paper dispenser.

Should not be a problem. We eventually found the original dispenser stuck underneath the daughter's sink.

So to day I managed to have a day off to go visit the US embassy. Same shit that I expected.

Came home to erupt on my upcountry roof (don't ask) and then asked our maid about my daughter's bathroom. Here we go. I very seldom venture past these doors.

The target seemed big enough.

**hillbilly** · 26-11-2007, 12:54 PM

Now where did Somchai put the toilet paper?

Let's look at the target again.

Somchais are stupid fokers. Less than 2-3 generations ago they were still living and climbing the foking coconut trees!

Dumb shits, I am going to kill them all.

Thailand is STILL a 3rd world country and WILL always be! Dumb foks.

**Whiteshiva** · 26-11-2007, 01:05 PM

These are the kind of jobs that I tend to do myself - just to make sure they are done properly. It only takes a few minutes with the proper tools.

**Lily** · 26-11-2007, 01:05 PM

Oh dear, Hilly, it is not your week, is it?

**kingwilly** · 26-11-2007, 01:06 PM

?????

**dirtydog** · 26-11-2007, 01:09 PM

Kw I realise that you are used to outside dunnies and probably have never used toilet paper, us in the West use it quite a lot, and no we don't normally have it on our dinning tables as they do here

but the holder is too near the wall so the roll of paper can't be slid into place, also us Westerners sit on the toilet, so who ever is sitting on that toilet needs to reach behind them to get to the paper, not very well placed

**terry57** · 26-11-2007, 01:34 PM

I mean fok mate,

That will teach you for not sticking with the bum gun.

Toilet paper sucks mate and thats karma coming back at you, but I could be mistaken and you have a bum gun fitted as well. ?

So whats the story Billy.?

Give us the good oil on how you clean your ass.

**hillbilly** · 26-11-2007, 01:51 PM

terry57, please dont push it...

**terry57** · 26-11-2007, 02:00 PM

Sorry mate, as I didn't look closely enough did I.

Anyway,

Have a nice day and give that friggin guy a kick in the arse for me as he's an absolute nutter.

cheers.

**Butterfly** · 26-11-2007, 02:08 PM

I think the death penalty is in order for such an offence

**Driventowin** · 26-11-2007, 02:19 PM

How can anyone who even knows how to use the tools necessary to install the thing, manage to put it there!!!!!!
And Terry he did mention that this his daughters bathroom and besides he's teaching her to be civilized and use toilet paper for what it is intended for and not wiping her face like DD mentioned. IMO it is a BIG score one for HB...

A bum gun just doesn't do it all anyway, its for after clean up..

**terry57** · 26-11-2007, 02:44 PM

^

Sorry mate, but I cant agree with you on that front as the mighty bum gun is the only way to clean ones ring hole after snapping off a # 2's.

Dunny paper is disgusting mate and only good for drying the old back bottom after a good drowning with the gun.

I installed one in my gaffer back here in Perth years ago and my bottom would die with out it.

Anyway, Its Billy's daughters arse and she can do what she wants.

**keda** · 26-11-2007, 03:11 PM

Agreed but take it further and the most hygienic is not the bumgun but a shower, which I have never missed after a dump for at least the past 40 years. Cannot recall when I last used toilet paper except for wiping cutlery, my mouth after a meal and disposal of the occasional Klingon.

**Mr Earl** · 26-11-2007, 03:32 PM

This reminds me of two doors I had installed in my condos.
Nice doors and not cheap. I also sprung for the nice door locks and handles.
Anyway Somchai in his wisdom and not understanding the inner working of the door mechanisms installed the locks upside down. To do so he has to carve out new holes in the new fucking door. I had to show the idiot how to open the door lock and reverse the latch mechanism to make it work right side up!

Anyway I didn't get exited and was very patient even though he'd just ruined my fucking expensive doors.(a little wood putty made them reasonably ok)
After that though I have an excellent rapport with him and he will go out of his way to help me out with various project.
That was his only real fuck up ime and it has paid off in the long run to be patient with him.

How do we expect these jungle bunnies to know about toilet paper or fancy door locks? Holding their hand a little and teach them without getting angry will earn you a friend in the long run.

DaffyDuck · 26-11-2007, 03:45 PM

By the way, aside from missing the position, but is that toilet paper holder supposed to hold the toilet paper that way?

Looks to me like there's a horizontal bar that the roll is supposed to be engaged in, with the metal flap holding it nice and neat.

Now, granted, the guy installing it has probably no clue how toilet paper is used, but don't these guys look at the item and at least TRY to figure out how it works, before installing it in such a manner so as to make it completely impossible to use as intended?

So, what are you going to do, now?

**hillbilly** · 26-11-2007, 03:52 PM

What a bunch of dumb foks reading TD. Yea, we got the bumb/butt/ass/hole spray.

But after squirting water up one's butt, then the need for paper does come into play.

You dumb foks. Who wants wet pants the rest of the day?

Can you'all tell I am having a bad day?

**hillbilly** · 26-11-2007, 03:55 PM

What about common foking sense?

**sabang** · 26-11-2007, 03:58 PM

Originally Posted by hillbilly

What about common foking sense?

Not much of it round these parts.
Yep, Bum Gun and then a dab of Kleenex is the way to go.

watterinja · 26-11-2007, 03:59 PM

^^ It ain't so common...

**Spin** · 26-11-2007, 04:11 PM

Originally Posted by hillbilly

What about common foking sense?

That has to be imported and the duties are very high so there aint much of it around.

**WhiteLotusLane** · 26-11-2007, 04:14 PM

LOL!!!!!!!!!!

Brilliant. This one should go high up in the annals of TeakDoor construction mishaps.

I like your wall tiles, too! Too bad that the one where the TP holder is now will have two holes in it.

I suggest putting something else there, like one of those ceramic (or steel) corner-trays/shelves where you could put an air freshener or a plant or whatever on.

No harm done.

**Whiteshiva** · 26-11-2007, 04:24 PM

Originally Posted by Mr Earl

This reminds me of two doors I had installed in my condos.
Nice doors and not cheap. I also sprung for the nice door locks and handles.
Anyway Somchai in his wisdom and not understanding the inner working of the door mechanisms installed the locks upside down. To do so he has to carve out new holes in the new fucking door. I had to show the idiot how to open the door lock and reverse the latch mechanism to make it work right side up!

Anyway I didn't get exited and was very patient even though he'd just ruined my fucking expensive doors.(a little wood putty made them reasonably ok)
After that though I have an excellent rapport with him and he will go out of his way to help me out with various project.
That was his only real fuck up ime and it has paid off in the long run to be patient with him.

How do we expect these jungle bunnies to know about toilet paper or fancy door locks? Holding their hand a little and teach them without getting angry will earn you a friend in the long run.

Very valid points, but in my experience, no matter how much you help them along, you can never let your guard down - just when you think all is going well they will turn around and do something so bloody stupid there was no way you could have anticipated it.

Therefore, I tend to do critical things myself. That way, not much gets done around my place, and when they do get done (by myself) they take bloody ages (as I am careful and more technically than practically gifted), but at least I know it gets done correctly. And as I am my own worst critic, I am bloody careful I get it right - eventually.

**WhiteLotusLane** · 26-11-2007, 04:29 PM

Also, change your toilet room door.

Plastic doors are evil.

**Texpat** · 26-11-2007, 04:32 PM

I think I had the same fuckwit doing my bathrooms.

He placed a stainless towel rack directly under the shower head. About two inches below.

I asked him if he thought the towel might get wet while I was showering. He looked and me for a minute and smiled a bit. I then showed him if he put the towel rack in the back of the shower, the towel would remain dry and would actually be of some use after the shower. He seemed impressed.

I told him to do it over and put some fucking brains into it this time.

Oh, and replace the tiles that you've fucked up.

**DrAndy** · 26-11-2007, 04:35 PM

Originally Posted by keda

Agreed but take it further and the most hygienic is not the bumgun but a shower, which I have never missed after a dump for at least the past 40 years. Cannot recall when I last used toilet paper except for wiping cutlery, my mouth after a meal and disposal of the occasional Klingon.

not so sure about that, all those nasty germs being deposited in the shower...eerrrgggh

for me, I have a 7 mile swim in the sea after a dump, it is much better

my only problem is if I have the runs, in which case several 7 mile swims tend to make me rather tired. Oh, and the fact I live in Chiang Mai does not help

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