Thread: Build a replica BT red phone box

Time for the next little construction project. Having been made penniless by the demands of my ex's, I am forced to construct a tiny new abode for myself in the guise of a British Telecom red phone box.




I intend to sleep vertically in a sling and poo out of the window...

Seriously (am I ever?), I'm going to build a wooden replica of the famous red telephone booths that used to abound in the UK.

My telephone box will be installed in the front garden of my little B&B in Phuket. It is purely a marketing gimmick.

I know from experience that Asians love all things British, (which is why as an educated and refined Englishman, I have reasonable success getting into their knickers).

Heck, if I dressed up as a British butler and addressed my female, Chinese guests as "M'aam", I would probably be frottered and sexually abused by them on a whim.

So.... the Asians like famous British 'icons', and what could be more iconic than the red phone box?

I initially investigated buying an old phone box, but the purchase price (about 1,000 pounds), the weight (more than 750Kg - it's made of cast iron), and the import costs convinced me to quickly reject that idea.

The solution is to construct a phone box out of cheaper, locally-available materials, such that the outward appearance is enough to 'wow' my guests, who don't actually have a clue about the exact dimensions of the original phone box.

There is a great site here:

Making of a red British phone box page 1

which describes how to build a replica phone box.

I am going to use materials that are as close to the original dimensions as possible, sourced from my local Thai Watsadu store in north Phuket.

When you look at the construction of a K2 model (the most iconic design) phone box, the design is fairly simple:

- There is a rectangular base
- Each side has equal-size windows in a 3 x 6 layout
- Above the sides is a 'neck' with the word 'TELEPHONE' in black on white background
- The domed top is adorned with the BT coat of arms.

Since this box will sit on the damp ground of my garden, I intend to construct the rectangular base from 'it-daing' bricks, painted in gloss red. I'll get my highly-skilled brother in law to construct this - even he can't go wrong making this section!

Next, is for me to do is to pop over to Watsadu this morning and see what I can use to construct the sides.

To be continued after my visit to the shops.