Victory in the Egg and Spoon

[Looper]

100 yard sackrace (Third place) 1968, Herford primary school

Good effort Withnall

I was also a bit rubbish at sports at school so on sports day I too always suffered the indignity of participating in both the sack race and the egg and spoon. This was the fate of anyone coming in the last 3 in the heats for real events like the 100m. Isn't coming last in the heats enough of a humiliation? Was it really necessary to turn my shame into a pantomime style spectacle in front of the entire school (including Mary Webster in my class for whom I held a secret flame and was desperate to impress). I actually won the egg and spoon on one occasion but having my victory dash done to the accompaniment of howling laughter and jeers took something of the shine off the victory although I still wore my gold victory ribbon with pride.

Was this just good fun or should I be approaching the town council with a frivolous case for psychological damage?

[chassamui]

I think you have as good a case as anyone. Perhaps your council could run to some courses on how to dress, catch a bus, turn up on time for work.
You will always have the sense of humour and the knowledge that you came first in that race.

[withnallstoke]

You may well have a case for psychological cruelty. Can you handle a boiled egg on a spoon without embarresment, without breaking into a nervous shuffling trot, or without your head throbbing from the detested memory of a million minors laughing and jeering, and seeing the oh so sad face of your hearts desire as she peered intently at the worn grass six inches in front of her plimpsoled feet?
Did the sadistic PE teacher then tie one of your legs to the leg of another physical inept, and make the two of you run a 100 yards as one. The three legged race. Last. No certificate or medal. Only tears. Of laughter. From the crowd.
Sue the bastards.

[Looper]

seeing the oh so sad face of your hearts desire as she peered intently at the worn grass six inches in front of her plimpsoled feet?

My god. Withnall's detailed knowledge of my emotional torment is uncanny (her plimsolls were light blue).

Yes I too am a veteran campaigner of the 3 legged stumble. At least you could blame your cohort for any abject failure in that event.

Sue the bastards.

I will ponder my legal options. In the mean-time I am off to listen to The Smiths. I may be some time.

[crippen]

Might have to prove permanent mental damage,but you live in LOS now,that should be enough!

[patsycat]

The worst I had was the parents had to do a race as well. My Dad fell into a hole during the sack race - I think it is the first time i blushed at the tender age of 11. I was quite good at the egg and spoon race.

[Texpat]

Maybe someday I'll muster up the nerve to retell the tale of my life-shattering performance at the 1986 Special Olympics in Tokyo (yes, I'm serious). Catastrophic doesn't approach description of the carnage laid waste in that brief episode.

[withnallstoke]

- I think it is the first time i blushed at the tender age of 11. I was quite good at the egg and spoon race.

Were you wearing light blue plimsolls? Did you see an ungainly/clumbersome fellow lurching toward the finishing line long after the tape was gone, wrapped around the victor in mockery of a life to be spent in adulation? And did the races dark horse glance fleetingly over the right shoulder, and square his chin and furrow his brow in a determined effort to remain horizontal unto the end?
Might have been Looper.

[withnallstoke]

Maybe someday I'll muster up the nerve to retell the tale of my life-shattering performance at the 1986 Special Olympics in Tokyo (yes, I'm serious). Catastrophic doesn't approach description of the carnage laid waste in that brief episode.

Come on Texpat. Seriously. Let it out.

[Texpat]

When I volunteered to assist-run the 400m with one of the handicapped participants, I assumed my athlete would be in a wheelchair, a cerebral palsy victim, an amputee of some sort. I had no idea deafness qualified as a handicap in Special Olympics.

No, I can't go on. It's still too painful.

[withnallstoke]

A common mistake amongst assumees. Do go on.

[Texpat]

My assistance lasted about three strides. Thereafter I followed Kenji around the oval in lane 4, burning my own plimsolls in the scorched track he left behind -- nervously wondering if I would reach the podium in my own right. Roughly two dozen workmates, supervisors and friends wildly cheered me as I rounded turn three, gasping and looking rather confused.

I didn't win that day, but Kenji's victory was a direct result of my encouragement and can-do spirit. I'll always know that I was instrumental in his success.

I finished third.

[withnallstoke]

I didn't win that day, but Kenji's victory was a direct result of my encouragement

A heartwarming tale. I think you learned a couple of valuable lessons in life that day.Deaf people can't hear the starting gun, and Kenji seems to have a problem with pyromania.

Nice one Texpat. Have you weighed in the bronze ?

[hillbilly]

And let's don't forget the proper British houses for sports...

[withnallstoke]

And let's don't forget the proper British houses for sports...

Too bloody right. None of your reds and yellows.
Darwin
Ashmole
Addison
Garrick

[withnallstoke]

Oddly(or not) Darwin had brown rugby shirts.

[PlanK]

You were beaten by a couple of mentally disadvantaged opponents

I finished third.

Not much different to your average day on TD, then?