Drunken girls on rampage in UK

**Gallowspole** · 07-03-2009, 10:07 PM

The Mayor of Bayswater,
He had a pretty daughter.
And the hair on her dicky-di-do,
Hangs down to her knees.
She lived on a mountain,
And pissed like a bloody fountain.
And the hair on her dicky-di-do,
Hangs down to her knees.
I've smelt it, I've felt it,
It's just like a piece of velvet.
And the hair on her dicky-di-do,
Hangs down to her knees.
She's not a great looker,
But everyone took 'er.
And the hair on her dicky-di-do,
Hangs down to her knees.
If she were my daughter,
I'd have them cut shorter.
And the hair on her dicky-di-do,
Hangs down to her knees.
She came from Glamorgan,
With a [at][at][at][at] like a barrel organ.
And the hair on her dicky-di-do,
Hangs down to her knees.
She lived in a lighthouse,
Which stank like a bloody shitehouse.
And the hair on her dicky-di-do,
Hangs down to her knees.
I've seen it, I've seen it,
I've lain right in between it.
And the hair on her dicky-di-do,
Hangs down to her knees.
You need a coal miner,
To find her vagina.
And the hair on her dicky-di-do,
Hangs down to her knees.
I've stroked them, I've poked them,
I've even rolled them up and smoked them.
And the hair on her dicky-di-do,
Hangs down to her knees.
She married a preacher,
To find out what he could teach her.
And the hair on her dicky-di-do,
Hangs down to her knees.
She married an Italian,
With balls like a fucking stallion.
And the hair on her dicky-di-do,
Hangs down to her knees.
I've licked it, I've kissed it,
It tastes like a chocolate biscuit.
And the hair on her dicky-di-do,
Hangs down to her knees.
You can drive a mini minor,
Right up her vagina.
And the hair on her dicky-di-do,
Hangs down to her knees.
Her vagina was squishy,
And smelled a bit fishy.
And the hair on her dicky-di-do,
Hangs down to her knees.
The aroma it lingers,
It smells like fish fingers.
And the hair on her dicky-di-do,
Hangs down to her knees.
...And the hair on her dicky-di-do,
Hangs down to her kneeeees.

**filch** · 07-03-2009, 10:36 PM

Originally Posted by English Noodles

Originally Posted by filch

So come on EN, do you trim yer pubes?

Never.

Originally Posted by filch

wear aftershave/deoderant?

Yes.

Originally Posted by filch

Shave your face?

Sometimes.

Well according to the 'rulings' enforced by Lily and Butters, 1.5/3 qualifies you for a bender. Go figure!

Originally Posted by Butterfly

Originally Posted by filch

I giveth not one toss what that queer Frenchman thinks!

well no matter how you want to put it, you are a fucking homo !!! in denial, I might add

The words plucking and straws come to mind.

Freud/Jung would have had a field day with you!

**chassamui** · 07-03-2009, 10:37 PM

There's only two things that smell of fish, and one of em is fish.

**Missismiggins** · 08-03-2009, 03:16 AM

Originally Posted by melvbot

Well someone had to do it.

Don't laugh, but honestly, I used to work with these two (Tracey and...forget her name) Two of the most beautiful girls in Hebburn, in fact (the blonde one - which I believe these Viz characters were based on, used to let her husband FUCK her on the condition that he "pull me fuckin nightie down when you're finished"..how romantic! She was probably reading a book at the time...but then again, I think the ability to read was lacking!

**benbaaa** · 08-03-2009, 09:43 AM

Originally Posted by November Rain

Am I missing summat?

Come on, NR, I know you're cleverer than that. What Lily is thinking but not saying is that men who prefer women with small tits/asses, women who shave or trim their pubes, women who are around the 40kg mark or women who are quite a lot younger than they are are all secret paedophiles.

This is on the basis that (on Lily's planet) real women have big tits and asses, have bushy pubes, are heavier or older, whereas girls don't/aren't. I think that's a bullshit argument. It's analogous to saying that women who go for toy boys or who thin men or who like their men's faces clean shaven are also paedophiles. The logic is the same: real men get fatter as they age and have hairy faces, so if you go for the opposite features there's something wrong with you.

The logic of Lily's snide argument is the same as saying if you'd prefer to date the guy in the first pic you're a secret kiddy fiddler.

**dirtydog** · 08-03-2009, 10:00 AM

Originally Posted by Looper

Shaving a girls pussy with electric clippers, preferably against her will while she is struggling, is the best way I find, if you are able to do it, to establish some authority early on in a relationship. It also establishes in her mind the idea that her lady bits are to some extent now your property and that a dim view will be taken of her having a headache. This works better with girls less than 50 kilo's otherwise the results can be a bit uneven and you run the risk of personal injury if she gets the upper hand and possibly control of the clippers at any point during the struggle.

Why do the words "Kiwi" and "sheep" come to mind?

**Looper** · 08-03-2009, 11:10 AM

^Fair point.

And I suppose a bloke who prefers his woolly four legged female freshly sheared lays himself open to accusations of some kind of perversion by the likes of Lily and NR. Well that's what happens when the feminazi thought police are allowed to distort and misrepresent something which is natural and beautiful. Who are they to cast judgement on what goes in private behind drawn curtains between a man and his chosen companion?

**garye** · 08-03-2009, 11:52 AM

"Now I lay me down to sheep"

"There will never be another "Ewe"

**Gerbil** · 27-03-2009, 11:40 PM

Back on topic.....

Binge drinking: British teen boozers ranked among worst in Europe .. and girls outdrink boys

Britain's children are are among the worst in Europe for binge drinking, a study has revealed.

More than half of UK youngsters get drunk at least once a month - with girls now bigger boozers than boys.

Only Denmark and the Isle of Man have a bigger problem, a study of 15 and 16-year-olds in 35 countries reveals.

Don Shenker of Alcohol Concern said: "Not only are UK children getting drunk more often than their European peers, they're drinking larger amounts when they do.

"This shows the widespread practice of binge drinking has filtered down to school-age children."

Study chief Prof Martin Plant, of Bristol's University of the West of England,
added: "The UK retains its unenviable position in relation to binge - drinking among teenagers. The problem is serious and chronic."

He backed a call from Government Chief Medical Officer Sir Liam Donaldson to raise booze prices to at least 50p a unit.

Prof Martin blasted alternative anti-booze crusades and said a price rise would stop 3,000 deaths and save £1billion each year.

He said: "There is scientific consensus that alcohol education and media campaigns have a very poor record."

Mr Shenker also called for dearer booze and branded the binge-boozing figures "a stark rebuke to the Government and drinks industry."

Prof Plant's study, which included 2,100 Brit teenagers, said just one in 10 of them had smoked pot in the past month.

Children's minister Delyth Morgan said: "Drug and alcohol use is falling. The challenge now is to target those young people drinking more often." She said ministers had not ruled out making cheap booze more expensive.

But Shadow health secretary Andrew Lansley rapped: "Labour is neglecting a forgotten generation of teenagers."

WORST 10
1. Denmark
2. Isle of Man
3. UK
4. Austria
5. Ireland
6. Slovak Republic
7. Spain
8. Germany
9. Bulgaria
10. Croatia

**Texpat** · 28-03-2009, 12:08 AM

Sweet Jesus, is Isle of Man a country now?

Goddamn what's next, Hull declares it's soverignty?

Seven Nations Rugby?

**chassamui** · 28-03-2009, 02:27 AM

Originally Posted by Texpat

Goddamn what's next, Hull declares it's soverignty?

As i slide down the bannister of life i regard Hull as a splinter in the arse.

Or, at least i used to. My ex is fom Hull and my kids still live there. I was in Hull yesterday to get my visa sorted at the Consulate and they have been really good, both on the phone and in person. Turned my appliction around and stamped the passport in under 15 minutes.

**NickA** · 28-03-2009, 02:34 AM

Originally Posted by chassamui

Turned my appliction around and stamped the passport in under 15 minutes.

Jeez, I could do that in 20 seconds, did they have arthritis or something?

**sabang** · 28-03-2009, 06:24 AM

Originally Posted by Gerbil

2. Isle of Man

Indeed, the drunks on a Rock. I spent some time there.

Whats the most confusing day in the Isle of Man?

Fathers Day.

They made that one up themselves.

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