Marriage to a Thai

**SiamCutie** · 05-04-2006, 03:38 PM

what sort of person says such things about a country where he is welcomed and can stay, and the people??

I was reading through and his generalisations are very nasty and cruel

why would he do this, and does anyone agree?

**Lily** · 05-04-2006, 03:41 PM

No one ever agrees with Smeg, except one or two who have other axes to grind, against a person he is abusing.

**RandomChances** · 05-04-2006, 03:49 PM

Originally Posted by SiamCutie

why would he do this

Mabye he just like's to have everyone talking about him, center of attention that sort of thing. As the americans would say he's probably got "issues".

**Lily** · 05-04-2006, 03:50 PM

Originally Posted by RandomChances

he's probably got "issues".

I think that might be the understatement of the week!

**SiamCutie** · 05-04-2006, 03:52 PM

hmmm, he does not seem like a nice person, whatever his issues

I am happy that few people agree

**Rigger** · 05-04-2006, 04:19 PM

If you are so broke that a little bit of sin sod is going to worry you so much what the fuck are you doing getting married as you cant really afford it. Most farangs that marry into a isaan famly do pay sin sod aleast around our area they do. The going rate is normally around 200,000 bht and you would expect to get most of that back after the party ( Most dont ) and are not really that worried about it as not much compaired to have a lovely Thai wive on your arm
It is a very big loss of face to a village family if you refuse to pay sin sod so just pay the fucking Thing cheap ass
Even the young Thais pay 100,000 + gold so 200k for us rich farang should not be a big problem

**RandomChances** · 05-04-2006, 05:20 PM

The "sin sot" argument must have been done to death on every Thai related forum and advice page. You have one camp that believes it's part of the thai culture and the other that it is akin to buying a wife and yet another that see's it as just one more the falang off scams.

Even a lot of Thais are divided on the issue, some seeing it as just an outdated custom,some seeing it as a way to ensure that the perspective husband is serious about their daughter and is able to look after her. Their outlook will depend a lot IMO on the particular customs of where they live, it seems to be dieing out quicker in the cities, but I must admit I haven’t been to that many "city" weddings.

I've been to literary hundreds of wedding here but only about 3 of them were Thai/Falang the rest Thai/Thai, the sin sot around here is usually in the region of 100,000 and 10 baht of gold. Here at least the giving and showing of sin sot is an integral part of the marriage ceremony. What actually happens to the money after varies a lot depending on who is paying for the wedding (traditionally the brides family), the relative incomes, who gets to keep the money coming in from the wedding, who's money it actually was in the first place ect.

Sometimes the money is returned sometimes not and sometimes it will just make up the difference between the cost of the wedding and the money received in gifts. The casual observer is unlikely to ever find out how this is split unless they are a close family member or a particularly good friend. Out of the weddings that I actually know what happened to the money, rather than hearsay, the split is about even. My brother in law didn’t get any back, another mate of mine while officially married is still saving to have the party and is unlikely to get any back (although his wife works as well and is saving with him). I have actually heard of more falangs getting the money back than Thai's, but they could just be saying that

The gold on display at the weddings is often borrowed from other family members and returned afterwards. If I remember correctly the gold should be presented at the engagement party anyway. Traditionally the groom doesn’t get involved with the sin sot arrangements it would have been arranged between respective families.

Undoubtedly some people do get ripped off, with requests for silly money, at the end of the day it should be down to you and your wife. If you feel strongly about it don't pay it, but don’t be surprised if your wife come from a traditional family that it may cause problems.

Oh just a thought I've never been to a thai/thai wedding where it's the brides second marriage or she has already got children, nor have I ever heard of any sin sot being given in those circumstances.

Anyone (esp. Thai) who wants to correct the "traditional" bit's feel free and the vast majority of wedding I've been to have been rural in the central region (the ceremony and stuff does vary a bit around the country)

Source www.whatrcthinksaboutsinsot.com

**DJ Pat** · 05-04-2006, 06:44 PM

Many Thai / Farang weddings are identical.....

As a guest it's borng getting asked the same old questions over and over by the Thai guests

**mad_dog** · 05-04-2006, 07:21 PM

God a: "I married a whore / sin sott" thread this place is turning into Thai Visa....... ........

Blue cat, I found your messages of support for the convicted child abuser David Arthur charming, how is he these days?

**Bluecat** · 05-04-2006, 07:24 PM

Originally Posted by Rigger

It is a very big loss of face to a village family if you refuse to pay sin sod

Very true and everybody knows the importance of face in Thailand.
Like it or not.
But if you don't, you'd better not marry a Thai girl (not only one from Isaan...).

**mad_dog** · 05-04-2006, 07:26 PM

How is David, Bluecat? Your best wishes for him and his "family" were well recieved i am sure.

**Bluecat** · 05-04-2006, 07:36 PM

Originally Posted by mad_dog

How is David, Bluecat? Your best wishes for him and his "family" were well recieved i am sure.

Were you born that way?
Or did it come while you grew older?
I mean the stupidity.
I hope for you you were born with it, at least you would have an excuse.
And you could blame you parents...

**Rigger** · 05-04-2006, 09:43 PM

[quote=RandomChances]

Oh just a thought I've never been to a thai/thai wedding where it's the brides second marriage or she has already got children, nor have I ever heard of any sin sot being given in those circumstances.

I have been to Thai/Thai wedding where sin sot was pated for a ex bar girl and second marriage three kids 28 YO 30,000 bht and one bht of gold was payed
It took about three days of eating and drinking every night for the familys to agree on the amount. I paid for the wedding and was re inburst after the sin sot was paid. Anything left over from the sid sot and from the collection at the wedding went to the bride

Brother inlaw 18 years old got caught shaging 17 YO local girl that is still in school forced to marry (shot gun wedding)sin sot 100,000 bht 3 bht gold. virgin with a good education .I first thought it was a scam and the family was just trying to marry there daughter off into a family that has many farangs married into it $$$$. But turned out to be nice people and rich as far as isaan standed goes large land owners she is a bit on the plain side but a sweet girl

**RandomChances** · 05-04-2006, 09:59 PM

^ did'nt say it did'nt happen mate, just I've never seen or heard of it. Saw a post once saying the same thing, probably you over the otherside...was it something like "shotgun wedding"

**Bluecat** · 05-04-2006, 10:09 PM

Originally Posted by RandomChances

was it something like "shotgun wedding"

This one I don't get it RC...

**RandomChances** · 05-04-2006, 10:15 PM

Originally Posted by Bluecat

This one I don't get it RC

go over to the other side and search "shotgun wedding"........oh sorry forgot

**DrAndy** · 06-04-2006, 03:16 PM

Originally Posted by Bluecat

Originally Posted by mad_dog

How is David, Bluecat? Your best wishes for him and his "family" were well recieved i am sure.

Were you born that way?
Or did it come while you grew older?
I mean the stupidity.
I hope for you you were born with it, at least you would have an excuse.
And you could blame you parents...

I don't understand that!

why not answer his question instead of abusing him?

simple enough

**Smeg** · 06-04-2006, 03:28 PM

Originally Posted by benbaaa

Here's a question for you Smeg: which of the following people is likely to be happier, healthier and more at ease with the world in general?

Person A
Person A has chosen to live in Thailand, and generally enjoys being here warts and all. Sure, there are little niggly things that irritate him, but overall, he finds the money good enough, the lifestyle is fine, he likes the food and the weather, he's got friends, he gets on well with his colleagues at work, he has a decent place to stay, and he's having an intimate liaison with a girl he really likes.

Person B
Person B has chosen to live in Thailand, although he really can't stand the place. He feels he's not earning enough, he's constantly frustrated by the little irksome things that he sees every day, he doesn't understand the culture, he's shagging three totties, but he's not really happy about that either, because none of them are a perfect 10, in fact the only joy in his world is the thought of returning home to mum and the fact that he can get a rise out of Person A by slagging his lifestyle off on a web forum.

I'll say B is happier.
So who is person B?

I love the country of Thailand (the place), I just don't like the local people much. I earn enough, and have repeatedly said that.

I think you'll find the main reason person A (the Thaiophile) came here and is so "happy" is because they didn't achieve anything worth hanging onto before coming here, hence life here is comparitively good. For people who had a great life before coming here, there is less motive to stay and assimilate.

But nice try to justify Thaiophilia.....

**hillbilly** · 06-04-2006, 03:33 PM

Originally Posted by Smeg

Person B
Person B has chosen to live in Thailand, although he really can't stand the place... in fact the only joy in his world is the thought of returning home to mum

I left mom when i was about 15-16 years old.

Funny, you think of Person B highly...

**Smeg** · 06-04-2006, 03:34 PM

Originally Posted by Lily

Smeg hates the fact that some people have done well in Thailand.

He pretends he hates Thailand because obviously he hasnt been treated like the great white God he is.

Thais are retards in Smeg's opinion (anyone who has a contrary opinion is a bigot or a loser)

Smeg only likes the part of Thai society that allows him to have 'three totties on the go', but reviles men who come here to shag.

Smeg has chosen to live in Thailand, yet ridicules others who have.

Smeg says it is because he earns good money (in a place he hates), then accuses Thai people of being shallow and mercenary.

Smeg is an inadequate, insecure little man who has to pump himself up and ridicule others to make him feel big.

He issues threats and hits below the belt, then cries foul when others pull him up on it.

He lies about dying girlfriends and then calls Thai's liars and cheats.

So what? It hits a lot of raw nerves with you tho!!

Are you referring to yourself as someone succesful in Thailand, Mrs TEFLer?

**RandomChances** · 06-04-2006, 03:39 PM

Originally Posted by Smeg

So who is person B?

I dont think it's supposed to be a real person. I think it's supposed to be one of those rhetorical type questions. either that or there's some trick in it.

**hillbilly** · 06-04-2006, 03:39 PM

Originally Posted by Smeg

Originally Posted by Lily

He lies about dying girlfriends...

So what? It hits a lot of raw nerves with you tho!!

This time, i have to agree. You are one sick dude!

**DrAndy** · 06-04-2006, 03:43 PM

Hey Hilly billy, no psychological analysing, you have to contribute to Smegs threads

otherwise you will be ignored!!

mind you, I thought this thread was about THAI WIVES

now it is about TEFLers or something

**Smeg** · 06-04-2006, 03:44 PM

Originally Posted by hillbilly

Originally Posted by Smeg

Originally Posted by Lily

He lies about dying girlfriends...

So what? It hits a lot of raw nerves with you tho!!

This time, i have to agree. You are one sick dude!

Excuse me? Is that aimed at me? If so, who the fuck are you to tell me that I lied about something that happened in my private life?!?!?!

**DrAndy** · 06-04-2006, 03:54 PM

well, if you didnt lie, having two girlfriends die on you whilst posting in forums is very unusual

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