Thread: Killing a Dog

Originally Posted by Pragmatic

Originally Posted by ChalkyDee

The fact that it's a pit-bull makes my conscious a bit clearer, as they should be banned anyway as they are a danger to life.

You obviously know naff all about Dogs ChalkyDee. Don't blame the dog. Blame the owner.
Here's my vicious nasty evil child eatin pit-bull. As docile as they come.

I doubt you'd find any takers to willingly dangle their todger in front of him though.

Comments about the size or taste of smeg's "todger" are not required.

Originally Posted by Immigrunt

I doubt you'd find any takers to willingly dangle their todger in front of him though.

'Him' is a she. I only have bitches and then have them neutered before their first season. I'm not stupid enough to have 3 kids and have an uncastrated dominant male wandering around. That applies to all breeds. I have 3 dogs.

Originally Posted by Iceman123

Originally Posted by ChalkyDee

Had a meeting with two other houses. We're going to have a meeting with the dog owner and give her one last chance.

If there are two of them, watch out for the short hairy one with the teeth.

Could be a he-she, and couldl bite yer end off while you're distracted by the other bitch!

Originally Posted by Pragmatic

Originally Posted by ChalkyDee

The fact that it's a pit-bull makes my conscious a bit clearer, as they should be banned anyway as they are a danger to life.

You obviously know naff all about Dogs ChalkyDee. Don't blame the dog. Blame the owner.
Here's my vicious nasty evil child eatin pit-bull. As docile as they come.

time u tiled ur yard prag.

Originally Posted by lob

time u tiled ur yard prag.

Fcuk that. It'll see me out. It's too big a task for me as well. Fcuk if I'll let another Somchai work here.

^ is all the dog shit over that hedge?

Originally Posted by Pragmatic

Dogs like the taste of Anti-freeze. Unfortunately it's toxic.

This. Cats like it too. Make sure you get the Ethylene Glycol version.

Warfarin also works. As do Macademia Nuts.

If the mutt has a collar on, just lift it up and hang it on the fence. Looks like it hung itself.

Originally Posted by ChalkyDee

Originally Posted by Immigrunt

Or even overfeed it so it sleeps 23 hours per day.

Now there's a good idea, feed it every day with something laced with xanax. Better than me having to take it. Once it's addicted, stop the dosage and it'll have hallucinations and kill its owner.

Good idea. Try and get a few LSD tabs.

Originally Posted by Dillinger

^ is all the dog shit over that hedge?

Nah, dog shit doesn't last long in the rain season. In the hot season it dries out very quickly and I sweep it up with a brush and pan before throwing it on next-doors cassava field. Good fertilizer.

Warfarin also works. As do Macademia Nuts.

wtf? I eat Macademia nuts every day as part of my diet. Why am I not dead?

Update:

This website might be useful:

12-human-foods-that-could-kill-your-dog

https://www.foodbeast.com/news/12-hu...kill-your-dog/

Originally Posted by Simon43

Warfarin also works. As do Macademia Nuts.

wtf? I eat Macademia nuts every day as part of my diet. Why am I not dead?



https://www.foodbeast.com/news/12-hu...kill-your-dog/

Because you're not a dog, Simon?

Dark chocolate is another one.

Originally Posted by Simon43

Warfarin also works. As do Macademia Nuts.

wtf? I eat Macademia nuts every day as part of my diet. Why am I not dead?

Why do dogs not have hands?

And it is Macadamia nuts not Macademia nuts. After Alexander MacAdam the Midshipman who first brought them on board the Endeavour anchored off Byron Bay for Captain Cook to taste.

^edit: I just made that up as a joke and then googled to discover that they really are named after a bloke called MacAdam. Dr John MacAdam a friend of the German botanist who discovered them in Australia.

Canines can be delicious.....

Originally Posted by ChalkyDee

Anyway, the point of this thread is to ask the most humane way of killing a dog.

Most important, is you getting rid of the dog without getting caught / linked to it.

As perhaps noted above. Capture, take, drive many kilos away drop it off.


Poisoning / shooting it could too easily lead to suspicions of you.


The arrogant assholes you note, are the real problem - whack the dog.

Kill the owner and the dog will go. Kill the dog and the owner buys another one.

Get a shanghai or low powered bb gun and pop one at it's arse every time the mut starts up, don't be seen doing that.

Any other time you get close enough to it, in passing, say, just make nice noises and give it a biscuit.

A dog whistle does the trick. Super-high pitched, you can train your neighbours dog pretty easy, tbh.

https://www.amazon.com/Best-Sellers-...ies/2975423011

Not as much fun as killing it, mind.

How did the meeting go ?

Originally Posted by Looper

Why do dogs not have hands?

Because they can lick their balls

Originally Posted by kmart

A dog whistle does the trick. Super-high pitched, you can train your neighbours dog pretty easy, tbh.

https://www.amazon.com/Best-Sellers-...ies/2975423011

Not as much fun as killing it, mind.

Fwkn sadist....

Sounds the go, mate.

One of the products on that site claims you can control the dog's barking.

Dunno how that works, but I'd give it a go, better than killing the poor mut.

Originally Posted by ENT

Originally Posted by kmart

A dog whistle does the trick. Super-high pitched, you can train your neighbours dog pretty easy, tbh.

https://www.amazon.com/Best-Sellers-...ies/2975423011

Not as much fun as killing it, mind.

Fwkn sadist....

Sounds the go, mate.

One of the products on that site claims you can control the dog's barking.

Dunno how that works, but I'd give it a go, better than killing the poor mut.

I have one at home. If the neighbour's dog starts barking you basically do a pissing up the wall contest; whistle v barking until the dog stops (its supposed to hurt a dog's hyper sensitive hearing) -or you hyperventilate, and drop down dead from a massive heart attack. -Whichever comes first.

Either way, hours of endless fun for you and Bonzo.

Originally Posted by ChalkyDee

Our neighbour (single woman) most weekends.... she's out partying....making loud whining noises.

The answer is easy. She needs a TD mutt who takes care of her.

The dog will stop barking because...



Volunteers please PM ChalkyDee !!!