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  1. #1
    Newbie thommo46's Avatar
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    Question Wife's nephew off to the monks.

    My wifes nephew turns 20 yo soon and her sister wants us to attend the cereMONEY( off to the monks to learn ) in Thailand , meaning 3 airfares from Australia to Bangkok and then onto the other side of Korat. I am the only farang in the family and she seems to think no problem with the money and also a healthy monetary present to the nephew.
    My wife is on my side and told her sister we would not be attending as we are going over there later in the year when my holidays are due.

    What are other members experiences with this cereMONEY , how much would be expected for such an event.
    Thommo

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat
    aging one's Avatar
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    I have been to many. My wifes family is large. We have never been asked to give any money for a man going to be a monk. Never.

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat superman's Avatar
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    For the party, a couple of hundred in the invitation envelope. At the party some tie money to the wrist of the newby. Up to you how much. Or they sometimes have a bowl that donations are put into, along with the "invitation envelope". Tops payout 200-300 according to my missus.

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    Thailand Expat jandajoy's Avatar
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    Personally I wouldn't give 'em a satang if asked.

    If not asked I'd probably offer.

    Coincidentally we had a nephew ordained this weekend. Thread to follow. We weren't asked for anything.

    We donated 10k.

  5. #5
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    I concur.
    Don't fork out more than 300 baht in an envelope.

    I have been to three of these bashes.
    Each time the bloke was out again after two weeks.

  6. #6
    PEP
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    I agree with "Blackgang" that this is a quite typical show! The Millionare Farang is expected to front-up for the cost of the entertainment/grog/food. ETC. Some of the local Hanger-Ons attend at all and every opportunity, show no interest at all in the Ceremony but knock-off multiple servings of food for thier own extended family. Often they bring their own supply of plastic bags.
    However We have had some "Relatives" who during these days of lower economic life (can't get work of any kind) have taken to the "Monkhood" as a way of life. Single room, bedding and robes supplied, TV, cigarettes not a problem. The surplus from the daily Alms Round is collected from the Wat by the family and provides a better food source than they had previously. Then there are all the donations (those sealed envelopes) which are handed about at any duty that a Monk is requested to attend for his chant. A good income!

  7. #7
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thommo46
    and also a healthy monetary present to the nephew
    That bit is highly suspicious.
    Firstly I have never heard of giving money to the incoming monk
    and secondly I thought the monks were not allowed to touch money so where is the baht really going to end up.

  8. #8
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    Since you’re the only farang in family, I would suspect the reason they want you to be there is….to help pay a BIG CHUNK of the expenses. You don’t need to be there, the family should understand that you’re too far away.
    A few hundred baths in an envelope seems just about right. Don’t think too much, just make sure your wife knows of your wish, then let her handle it since it’s her side of family. Now go and take a nap.

  9. #9
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thetyim View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by thommo46
    and also a healthy monetary present to the nephew
    That bit is highly suspicious.
    Firstly I have never heard of giving money to the incoming monk
    and secondly I thought the monks were not allowed to touch money so where is the baht really going to end up.
    Agree

    It sounds very much Thommo like you are being set up for a good ole milking

    Thai styli

  10. #10
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by thommo46 View Post
    how much would be expected for such an event.
    Thommo

    Quote Originally Posted by jandajoy View Post

    We donated 10k.

    I would give 11k if I was you, to appear more jai dee than jandajoy.

  11. #11
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    I assume that this nephew is the son of the sister and that she is with you in Oz.
    (you said three air tickets)

    If that assumption is correct then the mother needs to attend the ceremony and needs money to pay for it. Does she work or is she forced to con you into paying for it all?

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by superman View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Thetyim
    I thought the monks were not allowed to touch money
    You cannot physically give them money but he will accept the money if in an envelope, or put into the bag he carries. ?
    Buddhism really does offer solutions to all life's problems

    Anybody know why the money is so often offered in airmail envelopes? I suspect it might be because of the patriotic colors but wonder if it's also to get it to the celestial spirits as quickly as possible.
    The Above Post May Contain Strong Language, Flashing Lights, or Violent Scenes.

  13. #13
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    In my knowledge, a monk can accept money, but not from the hand of a woman, she has to lay it down on a table or have it on a piece of paper in her hand, but can't be touching the money.
    I used to donate quite a bit until I had been here a few years and learned and watched.
    Always the drunks have to have that noisy around the clock party for 3 days and nights, then the prick never stayus at the wat for over 2 weeks,, bullshit.
    When the monks quarters and offices burned down at our Wat I did donate 5k when my MiL came around collecting for them.
    so then stopped and talked to the abbot about the rebuild and offered to donate building materials and he said that he didn't really need them but could use money, I wrote a letter of credit for him to get 500K I think it was, maybe more from a building supply where I have an account and after a couple of months he did go in and get an order filled for that amount and put the new roof and windows and finish the new building.
    I give no more.
    And for a family to go in hock so some lazy asshole can go lay on his dead ass for a week or 2 at the wat and smoke cigs and listen to hip hop and rap and then come home saying he a monk is all bullshit,, if you want to have a drunk party , then for christs sakes have one but do not blame it on Buda.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackgang View Post
    And for a family to go in hock so some lazy asshole can go lay on his dead ass for a week or 2 at the wat and smoke cigs and listen to hip hop and rap and then come home saying he a monk is all bullshit,, if you want to have a drunk party , then for christs sakes have one but do not blame it on Buda.
    It's not all hip-hop and smoking, you know. Don't forget all the hanging around in mobile-phone shops and playing online games in internet shops.

  15. #15
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b
    Don't forget all the hanging around in mobile-phone shops and playing online games in internet shops.
    And all the quality reflective time spent hanging around in queues at the ATMs.

  16. #16
    Party Animal!
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    You could get him the phone for the discerning monk






  17. #17
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b
    It's not all hip-hop and smoking, you know.
    True
    But the alms round is easier if you don't have to walk


  18. #18
    Days Work Done! Norton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thommo46
    My wife is on my side and told her sister we would not be attending as we are going over there later in the year when my holidays are due.
    Then it's sorted. Let your wife arrange to have appropriate "donation" money in the envelop.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke
    And all the quality reflective time spent hanging around in queues at the ATMs.
    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b
    It's not all hip-hop and smoking, you know. Don't forget all the hanging around in mobile-phone shops and playing online games in internet shops.
    Too ttrue, but I didn't want to confuse him.

    Quote Originally Posted by Norton
    Then it's sorted. Let your wife arrange to have appropriate "donation" money in the envelop.
    Yea, don't send a fucking satang,,let them pay for the drunk, noisy shitfest themselves, none of your business anyway.

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by thommo46 View Post
    I am the only farang in the family and she seems to think no problem with the money and also a healthy monetary present to the nephew.
    This bit is bollix, the monking ceremony is no big deal and certainly no "healthy" money gift is normally required, nor expected, a couple of hundred baht is more than enough

  21. #21
    Thailand Expat superman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jandajoy
    We weren't asked for anything. We donated 10k.
    I'm not asking either, please send my 10,000 Baht to:-
    Superman
    C/O Clark Kent,
    The Daily Planet
    USofA

    Thanks 10,000 times.

  22. #22
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    ^ just intercept.....sshweeeet

    thxs you 2

  23. #23
    Newbie thommo46's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thetyim View Post
    I assume that this nephew is the son of the sister and that she is with you in Oz.
    (you said three air tickets)

    If that assumption is correct then the mother needs to attend the ceremony and needs money to pay for it. Does she work or is she forced to con you into paying for it all?
    Three tickets for self , wife and son. This party is for nephew to go to study for approx 3 weeks , but he wishes to stay longer. Her sister is well off and can pay for everything , I will send over 3000 bt for a gift from us.

  24. #24
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    Had a nephew do the monk stint for nine months and was not asked to front any money or cover any expenses. Family there did their thing and I observed and the wife did but a few hundred baht in the envelopes. Later, while he was still a monk, we donated a small statue and some essentials to the wat. No way would the wife consent to fronting the whole affair or gifting a monk with money. All that was collected went to the wat he was ordained into, not him.

  25. #25
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    Still all that really matters is the noisy drunken party with money for booze, sound truck with Very Large, cheap speakers and grub for 3 days and nights of total lunacy.
    And maybe some money for the Abbott.

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