Pattaya men: How much do you trust your Thai gf/wife?

[BobR]

A sucker is born every minute and bar girls have a long history of taking unsuspecting but well meaning men to the cleaners.

Knowing the difference between privacy and trust, do you give her your ATM and email passwords? Would you trust her with your ATM card? Do you only give her what you are prepared to lose?

Are girls who find their way to Pattaya less trustworthy or same same but different?

I had a live-in for 3 years and I trusted her, she never stole anything from me. Ironically, it was her insane jealousy that forced me to get rid of her. I remember handing her my wallet at BP Hospital before walking into the operating room for skin cancer surgery and I always left money around the house with no problems.

[Marmite the Dog]

One thing I've observed in Thailand should not be a surprise to anyone. As a general rule, many if not most of those who have a problem maintaining a decent relationship here (or any other expat place) had exactly the same problem where they came form. It's them really, not Thailand, nor their wife/ partner.

Spot on as usual.

The number of idiots who have been 'shat upon' and don't equate it to all the things they've done wrong is staggering.

[misskit]

When I meet a farang man and one of the first things he says is "I'm married to a Thai woman but she is not a bar girl," the alarms go off in my head. I wonder if he is trying to convince me or convince himself.

[Marmite the Dog]

When I meet a farang man and one of the first things he says is "I'm married to a Thai woman but she is not a bar girl," the alarms go off in my head.

I couldn't give a shit. Many of the more decent wives I know were probably 'bar girls' and most of my gfs were. The biggest pain in the arse was a 'normal' Thai woman.

[misskit]

^ I have friends that are both 'normal' and former bar girls and a combo of both. Who is decent isn't what I was getting at.

Some farang feel the need to justify being married to a Thai woman and seems he is feeling insecure about her status enough to tell me she isn't a bar girl.

[Marmite the Dog]

Who is decent isn't what I was getting at.

I know. I was just yapping.

[harrybarracuda]

There are a large number of people who will reply that they are perfectly trusting of their other halves.

This is because their other halves are playing the long firm game and have yet to rip them off and/or have them murdered.

So I don't think you're going to get a truly revealing answer.

[FailSafe]

There are a large number of people who will reply that they are perfectly trusting of their other halves. This is because their other halves are playing the long firm game and have yet to rip them off and/or have them murdered.

If I get her first the insurance pay-out is 8mil- we'll see who wins this little game...

[misskit]

So I don't think you're going to get a truly revealing answer.

Now I am worried.

How long before we know the answer? Five, ten, twenty years of marriage? Do I have to sleep with one eye open at night? Will grandpa finally get around to bumping off grandma for her riches?

[larvidchr]

Good on you all for giving your wife an ATM and trusting her with your money and business.

Not the same thing. There is money as in cash or spending money, and there is 'money' as in your business &/or investment portfolio. Giving my wife an ATM card and free rein to use it is not tantamount to letting her alter one's Will and sell or give away my portfolio.

I have encountered some expats in Thailand (especially Patt's) who are morbidly terrified of trusting their spouse, to the point of being control freaks. I know the real reason why too- it is because they are chronically insecure. This may be because of previous bad experiences, or the circumstances under which they met (Bar), or just because they are bloody insecure to begin with. But my point stands- if this is the case, why on earth marry them? Same reason- insecurity. With marriage, they now think they have some 'ownership' over their spouse, who is now at their beck 24/7- but with no trust or partnership in return.

Unsurprisingly, the wife chafes under this and often splits- quite often with whatever money they can grab ("Steal"). And of course Mr Insecure is now the ''Victim" he set himself up to be, and floods the internet or whomever will listen to him at the bar with his hard done by story, and how you can't trust TG's, etc etc, yawwwn. Ever heard of a self fulfilling prophecy?

One thing I've observed in Thailand should not be a surprise to anyone. As a general rule, many if not most of those who have a problem maintaining a decent relationship here (or any other expat place) had exactly the same problem where they came form. It's them really, not Thailand, nor their wife/ partner.

Very good post Sab.

The order of priorities for quite a few expats seems to be 1. their money, 2. them selves, 3. their property and the car, 4. the Thai w"h"ife or the dog witch-ever they see first.
Many have picked up a former prostitute/bar girl nothing wrong with that, but when they also treat her like a whore it's no wonder they get the "just another John" in return. If you chose to go down that road and that is of-cause up to you, don't complain after if it goes tit's up please.

We see just to many extremely insecure men out here, they think of-cause they are real macho with total command of their 45 kilo bar/rural etc. trophy counterparts, the resentment caused by the "emotional semi-tyranny" and disrespect mentioned in Sab's post above, builds up over time with those wifes/Gf's and is a sure fire way to end up screwed and seriously out of pocket for many of those idiot Men.

And yes then we get to hear the big macho men's whining sob-stories on here blaming the filthy cheating Thai whores, incredibly "the intelligent 'ard tough guy world travelers" usually never see it coming and end up bested by the little Issan farm Girl's they felt so superior too

If they had any pride they would keep their mouths shut, and take the full responsibility for their own decisions and choices like a Man, but then we know already that the problem from the outset was low self esteem, insecurity and lack of confidence.



"Life is hard and then we die"

[Loy Toy]

What the uneducated don't understand (or more directly refuse to accept) that a Thai/ Farang union is no different to unions anywhere else in the world particularly when you have children involved.

The same monthly running fees are budgeted within a 1,000 Baht and other expenses are taken care of accordingly.

I gladly pass that responsibility to my wife, as most working husbands do and have never needed to question her about where money has gone, very simply I trust her without any doubt.

In fact I wouldn't be investing my time into our relationship if I didn't trust her and my time is worth a hell of a lot more then money when you consider the big picture.

[Deerculler]

Yep, My wife has the use of my card. Been together for three years. She is a school teacher who has two children and works damned hard. Speaks, writes and reads english. I have had no reason to question her honesty with money or anything else. We are very happy. What more can you ask for in life

[liveinlos]

Rick if you get taken to the cleaners by a Thai girl whose fault is that?

It is your own fault. If your judgement is no better than that or you let a Thai girl totally wrap you up in her scam and lies, you are thinking with the wrong head.

We have shared accounts, shared everything for ever; as many people do. I never even give this a second thought ever.

Many men in Thailand do not know the difference between an honest to goodess good woman and the next pair of boobs that walks by

If you look like a smuck and think this godess is in love with you better think twice if it is really you or your money

I think most guys that have longetivity and trust have a normal looking girl, some hotter than others, but all of them decent in their hearts and relationships

The first thing to learn about Thai girls, is pick the girl that treats you the best over the best looking girl

[kingwilly]

A sucker is born every minute and bar girls have a long history of taking unsuspecting but well meaning men to the cleaners.

Knowing the difference between privacy and trust, do you give her your ATM and email passwords? Would you trust her with your ATM card? Do you only give her what you are prepared to lose?

Are girls who find their way to Pattaya less trustworthy or same same but different?

finally turning into a decent troll.

good work, though you need to learn to be more subtle

[rickschoppers]

Rick if you get taken to the cleaners by a Thai girl whose fault is that?

It is your own fault. If your judgement is no better than that or you let a Thai girl totally wrap you up in her scam and lies, you are thinking with the wrong head.

We have shared accounts, shared everything for ever; as many people do. I never even give this a second thought ever.

Many men in Thailand do not know the difference between an honest to goodess good woman and the next pair of boobs that walks by

If you look like a smuck and think this godess is in love with you better think twice if it is really you or your money

I think most guys that have longetivity and trust have a normal looking girl, some hotter than others, but all of them decent in their hearts and relationships

The first thing to learn about Thai girls, is pick the girl that treats you the best over the best looking girl

You along with many others have missed the point I was trying to make. My ex was not a Thai whore, but a nurse and good mother to my kids. It doesn't matter about the background of a person and they can be from any walk of life and still sneak around skimming money from their significant other. It is not restricted to women either. I have seen husbands who had a gambling problem and supported their habit by sifting money from their wife until they get caught. Does that make the wife a poor judge of character?
Everyone seems to be thinking one dimentional here and equating a person who can not be trusted with shared money to a whore or bar girl. This is a fact of life that affects any relationships and usually can not be detected until it is too late. Does than mean the unsuspecting partner is insecure? Many of the statements on this thread are flawed and very narrow minded. Understand that this could happen to all of you given the right set of circumstances.

[chitown]

Not the same thing. There is money as in cash or spending money, and there is 'money' as in your business &/or investment portfolio. Giving my wife an ATM card and free rein to use it is not tantamount to letting her alter one's Will and sell or give away my portfolio.

I have encountered some expats in Thailand (especially Patt's) who are morbidly terrified of trusting their spouse, to the point of being control freaks. I know the real reason why too- it is because they are chronically insecure. This may be because of previous bad experiences, or the circumstances under which they met (Bar), or just because they are bloody insecure to begin with. But my point stands- if this is the case, why on earth marry them? Same reason- insecurity. With marriage, they now think they have some 'ownership' over their spouse, who is now at their beck 24/7- but with no trust or partnership in return.

Unsurprisingly, the wife chafes under this emotional semi-tyranny and often splits- quite often with whatever money they can grab ("Steal"). And of course Mr Insecure is now the ''Victim" he set himself up to be, and floods the internet or whomever will listen to him at the bar with his hard done by story, and how you can't trust TG's, etc etc, yawwwn. Ever heard of a self fulfilling prophecy?

One thing I've observed in Thailand should not be a surprise to anyone. As a general rule, many if not most of those who have a problem maintaining a decent relationship here (or any other expat place) had exactly the same problem where they came form. It's them really, not Thailand, nor their wife/ partner.

Sabang,

I find that Thailand is full of farangs that constantly flaunt their whoring around to their Thai wives as if to say "I am Elvis in Thailand, so deal with it - I'm a hansum man." These same manly-men loses their mind if their missus does not pick up on their mobile by the 2nd ring. They treat their wives like children speaking loudly to them and chastising them in public. They are the farangs that belittle their wives and other Thais at every opportunity treating them as idiots and slaves. Then when their missus can't take it in anymore, she runs off and then the farang cries "victim" and trashes all Thai woman.

If you really want a great relationship, not good, but great, then learn to trust and treat your lady like you want to be treated. If you like to pop out and have a threesome with a couple Thai girls once a week, then do not cry poor to me if your gal decides to find another farang - one that treats her right.

BTW, Mrs. Chi had access to my atm cards and bank accounts (US and Thai) and my credit cards. She is a better saver and better at budgeting than me and after nearly 7 years my net worth reflects that.

[dirtydog]

She's obviously not that smart if she's happy to live with someone who fucks around all the time and seems to spend an inordinate amount of time on the verge of passing out.

A man has to have hobbies marmite, mine personally don't include getting naked in the showers covered in dirt with 10 other men.

[chitown]

Also, there are a slew of farangs that need to realize that Thai woman are just like any other woman out there. They have feelings, fears, expectations and life's pressures. They need reassuring, security, love, trust and patience. I have heard this myth 1000's of times - Thai woman do not cry - BS, they can shed a tear like any other woman.

[terry57]

She's obviously not that smart if she's happy to live with someone who fucks around all the time and seems to spend an inordinate amount of time on the verge of passing out.

Fuking hell Eh,

There goes the neighborhood and it looks like Marmite may have to relinquish his moding duties.

Anyway Marmite,

The 100 baht a month you got from DD just wasn't worth it mate.

[dirtydog]

Most marriages end in divorce anyway, so why should Thailand be different, as for trusting a Thai wife, aint no different to trusting your friends be they farang or Thai, you know which ones you can trust and for arguements sake how much you would be willing to lend them.

[Lorenzo]

If you don't trust your wife enough for her to even have an ATM card, why on earth did you get married? Thailand has nothing to do with it.

True, but many do marry Thais anyway

[dirtydog]

Here's another way of looking at it, every man has had a 99percent failure rate on relationships with women, well maybe not if your muslim and you married or live with all the women you have shagged, pretty sure I wouldn't want several thousand women living here though, fuk that would be a nightmare, 10 to 20 percent of them on the rag all the time, I can see why some nationalities believe in keeping on the rag wives in the shed at the bottom of the garden.

[terry57]

A man has to have hobbies Marmite, mine personally don't include getting naked in the showers covered in dirt with 10 other men.

DD,
More than likely you have an open relationship with your girlfriend where as when your out shagging trollups your lady is getting chopped up by the milk man or the butcher or some one.

Aint nothing wrong with that though. Goose gander sort of shit Eh.

[terry57]

There are a slew of farangs that need to realize that Thai woman are just like any other woman out there.

Well I must disagree with that.

Many Thai women will shack up with a farang at the drop of a hat if they think there is a wedge in it for them where as many farang women would rather slit there wrists than shag some of the disgusting farangs that inhabit many parts of Thailand.

Purely economics of course.

[dirtydog]

where as many farang women would rather slit there wrists than shag some of the disgusting farangs

terrrry is speaking from experience here, should imagine he's been turned down more often than a pork chop at a jewish restaurant.