Sweeping up imaginary leaves: A day in the life of Por

[somtamslap]

What time Por arises I have no idea, but come 7 O' Clock in the evening he wobbles his way back to his little annex and howls incomprehensible abuse at his 14" portable television, and half the time it isn't even fucking switched on. When the cocaphony of colouful wailing eventually subsides, I suspect that Por drifts into a peaceful slumber. Dreaming dreams that customarily feature pint upon pint of lao khao, an assignment of crates each packed to the brim with Thai rolling tobacco, sparsely clad females offering their commodities in the form of stripping down to the bare flesh and bending over, waving large root vegetables suggestively about their peson, and brooms!

Yes, brooms! Por is fucking mad for sweeping!

Come half past six in the AM, if you didn't hear the dolcit sheeesh - sheeesh - sheeese - sheeese of Por going hell for leather in the back garden, then you'd have to sadly assume that he was taken in his sleep, eventually succumbed to the toxins of rice whiskey.

The other day Por approached me, forlorn dismay etched deeply into his weathered features.

I was just about to dig into the depths of my pockets for another 20 baht - 'Por obviously requires a top up' - but he hastily stopped me. This was obviously a problem that the sacred liquor was unable to amend.

'What is it Por?' I bellowed into his good ear. "You need a bird? Get on the back of the bike then, I'll drive you up the local knocking shop." Por had recently been making noises about the barren spell of sexual activity that he was currently experiencing.

But with a despondent shake of the head, abandonment carved into his very soul, Por once again responded in the negative.

Eventually I followed his lonesome line of vision which immediately led to the all the answers for this sudden melancholic mood.

He'd swept his fucking broom to death!



Nevermind, Por. Let's pop over the shop and get you a brand new shiny one. And a vat of lau khao to iron out the stress of it all.

[Mid]

Slap , may the blue bird of happiness crap on you

[somtamslap]

^ I also require the angry bird of wealth to take a gigantic dump on my face..

But a bit of happiness wouldn't go a miss too...

[Norton]

He'd swept his fucking broom to death!

................

[ltnt]

What kind gentle man you are Slap. Por on the other hand needs a good kick in the nuts for over use of his broom. Isn't he suppose to "lean," on the broom?

[somtamslap]

Por on the other hand needs a good kick in the nuts for over use of his broom.

Indeed - blatant broom abuse.

[ltnt]

Don't suppose its a sexual fetish Por has do you? Brooms and bushes similar?

[jizzybloke]

blatant broom abuse.

damn this vivid imagination of mine

[ltnt]

I was just wondering, The world is filled with street sweepers. Why?

[somtamslap]

damn this vivid imagination of mine

I was thinking the same thing when I wrote it..

[ltnt]

^at 06:30? Thinking? Ouch that hurts!

[rickpattaya]

Somtam put all the Por stories in a book it will be a best seller for sure. Cheers.

[Dane]

Somtam put all the Por stories in a book it will be a best seller for sure.

Brilliant idear, but what about the title ? My english is very limited, any suggestions ?

"My Life As Por" The sad story of an honest hardworking thaiman, who gets a farang for son in law, and therefore turns to the dark side...

[somtamslap]

Somtam put all the Por stories in a book it will be a best seller for sure. Cheers.

Por is superb material. Better even than Granny and the mad bullock my mrs brought home from the market a few years back. Although Granny definitely still has her moments.

"My Life As Por"

I like that - Por has one hell of a history.

who gets a farang for son in law, and therefore turns to the dark side...

I am admittedly responsible for reintroducing Por to the bottle after a month's worth of sobriety...although he currently seems in finer fettle than I've ever seen, apart, of course, from the woe of the broken broom.

[jizzybloke]

Por has one hell of a history.

get some of it out of him and on here...

[somtamslap]

get some of it out of him and on here...

out of respect for my wife I won't be documenting Por's unsociable behaviour on here.....much

[Necron99]

Rich man Por man.

[Necron99]

Pour Poor Por a Pint.

[somtamslap]

a Pint.

a pint? of lager? He'd throw it back in your face before spitting at you. Lager doesn't wash with Por, you see. Liquid refreshment must be upwards of 40% alcohol before it could be deemed consumable..

[OhOh]

Attn. Sontamslap Esq.

May I bring to your attention that we have recently had to stop a relative of yours from entering our garden implements store. The above mentioned gentleman has taken it upon himself to stand jabbering away adjacent our extensive range of brushed and brooms. This has led to some of our esteemed customers being unable to select and, more importantly, purchase a said brush or broom.

Upon employing a translator, at great expense, we find that a new broom has been promised but he is awaiting the necessary 30 bhat from you. As your MIL is one of our respected customers we have refrained from further action, but would remind you that further incident of the like will force us to ban the complete family.

As a last resort we beg you to assist the gentleman with his purchase or we cannot be held responsible for your MIL's future actions.

Yours in hope

Somchai.

[Mr Lick]

My former MiL would have flown on it across to the shop and demanded a trade in deal

[somtamslap]

As a last resort we beg you to assist the gentleman

The only assistance Por needs is a shoulder to lean on when he's staggering back to his annex.

[Norton]

Poor ole Por!
Be a nice fellow slap. After he falls asleep, leave one of these at his door.
His surprise and gratitude upon awakening will be your reward. Not to mention your property will be leaf free for life.

https://teakdoor.com/living-in-thaila...tml#post314829

[Rural Surin]

Poor ole Por!
Be a nice fellow slap. After he falls asleep, leave one of these at his door.
His surprise and gratitude upon awakening will be your reward. Not to mention your property will be leaf free for life.

https://teakdoor.com/living-in-thaila...tml#post314829

Fairy-Farang-Fathers...
They do exist, you know.

[somtamslap]

^^ Por would shit! A whole carts worth of brooms! I think he'd pack in the booze and go on a mad nationwide sweeping gig.