Morning mail's a bit sparse today...


True Friendship - with none of that sissy crap!

Tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good but never come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card - just the stone cold truth of our friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use short words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever it is.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. Why? - Because you are my friend.

Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

Send this to 10 of your friends. Depressed because you can only think of four? - well don't send it back to me, I don't want to hear it!

And remember - when life hands you only lemons, get some salt and tequila and call me.