Monkey in a bar.

[charleyboy]

A guy walks into a bar with a monkey.
The monkey grabbed some olives off the bar and ate them.
Then he grabbed some sliced limes and ate them.
He then jumped onto the pool table and grabbed one of the balls.
To everyone's amazement, he stuck it in his mouth and somehow and swallowed it whole.

The bartender looked at the guy and said, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table...whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything
in sight, don't worry, I'll pay for the cue ball."
The guy finished his drink, paid his bill, paid for the stuff the monkey ate and left.

Two weeks later the guy came back, and had his monkey with him.

He ordered a drink and the monkey started running around the bar.

The monkey found a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabbed it, stuck
it up his arse, pulled it out, and then ate it.

Then the monkey found a peanut, and again stuck it up his arse, pulled
it out, and ate it.

The bartender asked, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No, what?" replied the man.
"Well, he stuck both a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his arse,
pulled them out,and ate them!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He will eat
anything, but ever since he had to shit out that cue ball, he measures
everything first."

[Iceman123]

^gold

[billy the kid]

another cracker from charleyboy.
keep em coming.

[kingwilly]

An oldie but a goldie!