Thread: DIY disasters?

Probably not really construction but ..just for entertainment..

DIY Disasters?
In the interest of economics I like to think I can fix it. Not always true however.
Tell us your stories:
A biggy for me was a futile attempt to fix the auto transmission on my Olds Delta 88 V8...nearly ended up in funny farm..1000 bucks in the hole…then I drove away.



Won't mention toasters,washing machines,dryers,hair dryers,fridges,microwaves,lawn mowers... ad nauseam.....

I don't recall ever completing any DIY successfully.

In fact the reason I left my exwife was her whining about a curtain rail I'd bodged up with the wrong sized raw plugs. Her interpretation of a sergeant major with a white glove moaning about the leftover dust was the straw that broke the camel's back.

What a life, without the wife

Originally Posted by Dillinger

I don't recall ever completing any DIY successfully.

In fact the reason I left my exwife was her whining about a curtain rail I'd bodged up with the wrong sized raw plugs. Her interpretation of a sergeant major with a white glove moaning about the leftover dust was the straw that broke the camel's back.

What a life, without the wife

So it was curtains for you,marriage has many drawbacks,the pole,the drawstrings and some shocking openings

While letting out the air in the rear tyre of my old Harley back in the 70's, the inner tube got sucked into the valve and jammed. I accidentally punctured it trying to free it.
I was only letting the air out so that I could squirt in some gunk/slime that would prevent punctures.

Another time, I was about to trade in a Triumph Bonneville when the day before, I blew the head gasket. I bought a new gasket and started to remove the head bolts.
The head refused to lift off.
So with a few taps with the handle of a hammer on the underside of the head fins, I figured that would free the head from any gunge that was sticking it to the cylinders. But it had no effect. I tapped a little bit harder and ended up breaking a fin.

Oh for fux sake! But wait,...... there was a new product going around called 'Super Glue'.
Hmm..maybe, just maybe it might be the answer to my dilemma. I recalled my ol' man using the stuff to put tips onto his snooker cue and once, in the process he spilled a drop onto the dining room carpet, tried to rub it into the carpet with his slipper and consequently got it stuck to said carpet.

I thought it would be worth a try. I tried it. The broken fin stuck nicely. But would it stay in a state of 'stuckification' when the engine was hot? I still had to get the head off first before I could find out.

I sat and looked at the engine while having a smoke and contemplated why the head was so stubborn to come off. Previous engine strip downs presented no problems so why was........Aha! the answer came to me and I was staring straight at the problem. The rocker boxes. There were head bolts in there too. I'd forgotten all about them. What a silly Khunt I was.

I started to go to work on them only to find they were already loose. Twat! So I hadn't blown a gasket after all. So I tightened all the head bolts with a newly acquired gizmo called a torque wench and started the bike up. Let it idle and warm up. Great!! the broken fin was still adhering nicely. Took the bike for a good blast around the nearby park and checked the fin again. Still there. 'Splendingly splendid!' as my ol' man would say.

Next day, rode out to Deans Gate to a big bike dealership and dropped off the Bonnie. The salesman scrutinised every inch of the bike before accepting it.
And that, as they say, was that. Also my first introduction to the benefits of Super Glue.
'If you can't fix it, Super Glue it.'

I lifted a load of cable and four-way blocks off the ground to get underneath.

Rats had chewed through the cables and about 5m of cold half-bare 240v cable contacted my arms.

The resulting shock (barefoot, groundflloor and damp) caused my fingers to grasp one of the four way blocks, making it even worse.

Everything went into extreme whippet slow-mo as I looked at my hands and realised that if I couldn't let the block go that I was going to die.

But as I stared at the block, my fingers weren't being controlled by my brain.

From somewhere, I found the strength and threw the cables and blocks off me, which caterpaulted me against a wall.

Close fvcking call that one (of many).