This is your belligerent American side coming out again, Ralph. You're not in Kansas now...Originally Posted by ralphlsasser
Eggsackery. He made a booboo, but he had good intentions; he wanted to help Nige.Originally Posted by Dillinger
That's smart, Nige.Originally Posted by nigelandjan
Spot on.Originally Posted by nigelandjan
Indeed. Another reason not to get too stressed, different culture and all. You've struck a good balance of non-confrontation and getting what you wanted.Originally Posted by nigelandjan
There we go, all's well...Originally Posted by nigelandjan
Some fukin awful matcho type ideas on this page from some posters. Basically, you're in their back yard, quite literally, to show them a bit of respect and decency is the right thing to do. It is possible to get on with the inlaws well, let them be themselves, but set boundaries, respectfully to all concerned. We're not in Kansas now peoples...
Having said that, like all families/people all over the world, you do meet some nasty fukers, and the boundaries for those folk need to be very clear, as with the consequences when those boundaries are crossed. Nige's FiL is not one of those folks, he's just an eccentric old fella who's trying to do his best in a cultural relationship that he finds difficult.
Cycling should be banned!!!
I just caught up with all your posts Nige and have to say, I can relate. When we finally had all the funds to start the house build, it was delayed by a month due to the proper monk day to start. We all realize where we are and how the culture will be different. We all try to bend to a breaking point to accept all the different ways, but everyone once in awhile, we reach that breaking point.
I hold things in too long and then when the cork blows, I need to go somewhere to cool off. If I stuck around, I would say something I would soon regret. A requirement to live in Thailand is definitely knowing your breaking point and what one can do to cool off short of strangling someone. Maybe someone needs to start a thread, if one has not already been done, on how they cool off to help those who are unable to.
Anyway, I think you handled it well Nige and it sounds like the storm has passed, as they all do, sooner or later.
Time will tell.Originally Posted by Bettyboo
Originally Posted by nigelandjan
^hmmm, I see your point, Norts.
It's FiL's neck of the woods, let him have it, Nige.
The house has been a great success, the thread is great, life is good. You're too smart to get sucked into a macho pissing contest, Nige. You've got what you wanted, you're a winner. Being gracious in victory will just make your life easier in future.
Spot on. Enjoy the experience.Originally Posted by Bettyboo
Came close to big trouble in Phon Phisai today, one bloke in a gang of 3 thought it would be a good idea to poke his finger in my arse, , I sure wasn't in the mood ( not that I ever would be for any of that ) one of them thought it was funny till I squared up to the 3 of em.
I gotta calm down a bit, I'm not normally like this, 20 years ago mabe, but the old red mist came down today.
Anyway unfortunately I'm very sorry to say I have just been given some real shit news about my dear little thai nephew, this lad follows me everywhere.
Dependant on the second blood test, his problems potentially will pale any problems of mine into insignificance.
Sorry I don't feel too good now, pictures of the finished job tommorow
I'm proud of my 38" waist , also proud I have never done drugs
Sorry to hear about your Thai nephew hope all turns out well for him. These are the important things - not the ultimate finish of 4 walls and a roof
This thread has been a fantastic read and I have felt your every frustration along the way.
My fil died some years ago and I am Automatically deferred to as the family head even though I only spend 4 months each year in Thailand. So no daft relies to deal with.
I wish you well Nigel - you are almost there!
Nigel
First hope it goes well for your nephew. I have really enjoyed your thread and you have been honest about what you have thought along the way. Personally I thought you over reacted to the tile police but you seemed to get over it and then lots of other little things built up to bring on the "Red Mist'. Like others have said relax and don't let it get to you.
I remember the first (and only time so far) that I exploded in Thailand, ther missus didn't give a shit about what upset me all she worried about was how I had embarrsed her by confirming to all the spectators (contractors planting taro for us) that she had married a crazy c**t.
Anyway I love your house especially the bricks/blocks, if ever I am crazy enough to build something there again I will have to ask you where I can get them. First time I have seen a build in thailand that didn't use posts but load bearing walls instead.
I hope you will be able to sleep at night thinking your house is safe just because you have the 3 keys with you, please up date us on the outcome of that in ayear or so. Enjoy the rest of your holiday.
NigeJan
Don't worry about the house shit at a time like this. Just work out what's important and worry about the top priorities.
Hang in there mate
bobforest
Not when you're the sucker paying for it. They should be showing you some respect.Originally Posted by Bettyboo
Belligerant American side? Not at all. I'm a firm believer in the more shit one takes the more will be given to him. Common sense really. If you think I am belligerant, ask yourself, "why?" Because this American has had his share of shit given to him and I refuse to let anyone ever do it again. So, if being a man and standing up for yourself to you is being belligerant, well..... you know what they say about "every body has an ass." Well......maybe you don't because obviously you're not an American.
Last edited by ralphlsasser; 04-01-2014 at 03:24 AM.
I agree Marmite. When I built my house, people came to my door that I had never seen before trying to sell everything under the sun or trying to be nosey to look at my house or monks standing in front of my door looking wanting a handout. I put up a security wall to stop it. End of story?
No, not quite. Then they started opening my gate and inviting themselves in. I blew my stack one day when I woke up one morning and a man in the village that buys and sells cattle and a woman were sitting on my front porch at 6:00 doing their business transaction. When I finished throwing a fit, the police, 2 monks, and the village chief came to my gate to calm me down. Notice I SAID "CAME TO MY GATE". They did not come in. No problems with unwanted visitors since. No one and I mean no one comes on my property uninvited including family. True story.
ralphlsasser
in reference to your comment asbout the more you take the more you get, I couldn't agree more.
I have been told that most people consider me to be dominating, however I don't believe that to be the case. In my opinion what I do is refuse to be dominated and that has the effect as described above. I tell people, this is what I am doing or where I am going and you can either come along and join in or get out of the way.
You're right. Give in to their way of thinking, especially a Thai because it indicates weekness and they'll dominate you. I do the same, this is me, if you don't agree in respecting others, common courtesy, and saying what you mean, get out of the way.
I took shit, held my tounge, and did what others wanted me to do all my working life to keep a good job. Now, retired I don't take any shit from no one.
There sure is a lot of bravo advice being tossed around. Think you are handling the in-laws properly. Interesting thing about Thais is if you move three hundred meters away they will never visit.
We're 15km away and a sister and her daughter is visiting as I type this...Originally Posted by BKKBILL
I had the same problem with people wandering in and out of my property, and I hate that. During rice season they would just bluntly say move your car, we need to get through. but also sales people just wondered in and if you told them you dont need anything, would still walk into the property and have a look!
So first I build a wall around the 80x80 property, took a bit of time, but it's build.
Too bad I had to wait for the gates, without them they would still walk in. Now with the gates installed its fine, just need to keep them locked!
Family, who lives down the road have keys to enter, they have never bothered me.
If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough.
One time I had a person walking across my property before the wall was installed taking a short cut to the main road. It was dark and she yells to my wife to turn the outside lights on so she can see. I won't repeat my words, but let's just say she got my response loud and clear. It happened to be my wife's cousin.
Usually the wall and gates stop all that, but as you say, it must be kept locked. I refuse to lock my gate during the day because we go in and out all day, but after my fit, I haven't had a problem.
Ok were done now, well for this visit anyway, when we come back in November I will fit a fairly basic kitchen and add wardrobes and living area furniture.
So for now some final pics for you.
I planted some lucky ivy on the new balcony, it ain't half growing
A close up for you, ,, million % true
I got my measurements mm perfect here
Bedroom, and I think Marmite may well have a different view of temperatures in our concrete tiled box when he visits next, ok I know we're nowhere near the 40, s but we had enjoyed 30 here for the last 3 days and with the living room door closed this room is cool, no in fact cold.
Yes I know later its gonna get hot, but my point being this ain't gonna cost big bucks to enjoy a comfy nights kip
All well in the old Hong naam despite the awfull !,,,,, no leave it
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