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  1. #1
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Lanzarote is not so grotty!

    Michael Palin eat your words!

    The Island has come a long way since the fly and flop generations, nowadays its the Winter Sun hangout for the Hipster and graduate surfer.

    The peeps that appreciate culture in da sun.

    If you want €1 pints and mobility scooters then Lanzarote is not your destination.


    This week I shall delve into the fascinating landscapes, history and culture of this island that has escaped the deluge of mass tourism and high rise buildings.


    Chitty's on tour at fvcking last!!!
    Shalom

  2. #2
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Of the many myths and legends of the Canary Islands, the most often rehearsed is the story of the existence or otherwise of a mysterious eighth island, called San Borondón. Over the centuries there have been various reported sightings to the west of the archipelago, but whenever sailors tried to approach, a mist descended and the island either moved away or disappeared, according to which account you read.
    Well, that legend almost came true last December, when an underwater volcano just south of El Hierro, the most remote of the Canary Islands, erupted, and the resulting outpouring of rock and solidifying lava made the sea's surface boil. Once again, there was talk of a new island, of what it might be called, and how long it would be before there were flights from Stansted.


    The view from my balcony, btw that light pollution in the distance is a mystery!
    There is nothing there on Google maps, it isolated and spooky. The lights just vanished, but not before I got a pic.
    I believe I have snapped the aura of the mysterious eight island.

    Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240219_222945-jpg
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240219_222945-jpg  

  3. #3
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyrille View Post
    Well, at least they were his own

    Do you partake in the customary libration tipple that David44 swears by? If not I suggest you get onit, it's a life changing experience!




    Tonights dinner was a damn fine traditional Spanish Paella ..



    No Wild Salmon!
    But the fresh squid, shellfish and King prawns were a bit of alright
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Lanzarote is not so grotty!-4-jpg   Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240219_183102-jpg  

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat misskit's Avatar
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    I am sick with jealousy. That paella looks magnificent.

  5. #5
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    Bantz free zone, eh MK?

    OK - Umm...that off license looks nice.

    The paella looks really nice.

    Nice!

  6. #6
    . Neverna's Avatar
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    Joe, you forgot the link to the 2012 Independent article (you copied/wrote??)


    Grotty no more: How Lanzarote upgraded its appeal | The Independent | The Independent

    Grotty no more: How Lanzarote upgraded its appeal

    Friday 01 June 2012

    Lanzarote has been quietly changing its fly-and-flop holiday image, discovers Andrew Eames.


    Of the many myths and legends of the Canary Islands, the most often rehearsed is the story of the existence or otherwise of a mysterious eighth island, called San Borondón. Over the centuries there have been various reported sightings to the west of the archipelago, but whenever sailors tried to approach, a mist descended and the island either moved away or disappeared, according to which account you read.

    Well, that legend almost came true last December, when an underwater volcano just south of El Hierro, the most remote of the Canary Islands, erupted, and the resulting outpouring of rock and solidifying lava made the sea's surface boil. Once again, there was talk of a new island, of what it might be called, and how long it would be before there were flights from Stansted.

  7. #7
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    The mere mention of that will get your post deleted, apparently.


    Gotta stand by your ex-mod mate.

    Joe - you cannot string a sentence together.

    So just forget it and put up the pics, eh?

    Have a good time.

  8. #8
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyrille View Post
    So just forget it and put up the pics



    Now that's what you call a salt water pool.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240220_104315-jpg  

  9. #9
    Thailand Expat
    Bonecollector's Avatar
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    Nice mate and those string of islands are an amazing place. We used to holiday there when I was young, I seem to always remember them having the most amazing pistachio ice cream. Paella looks amazing, can we have a picture of a massive pint of OG San Miguel??? Great beer and cheap as shit. Happy days!

    Great titled as well!
    One should listen twice as much as one speaks

  10. #10
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyrille View Post
    The mere mention of that will get your post deleted, apparently.

    Did I miss you getting your wrist slapped ?


    The three Stooges, they know who they're..



    If one ever gets sunburnt, then just pluck the cure from the earth.
    Mother Natures Aloe Vera..


    This long necked beauty knows all about plucking it from the earth..


    Talking of food..

    Starter..


    Main course..


    Dessert..


    Don't ask me what it all was because I haven't a Scooby.
    It tasted OK though

    Plenty of bike shops about, check out this quality professional cycle, must be 10 grands worth easy..


    A few extremely random pics to end the day before Miss Aruba and the South London massive get a grip

    A massive Cactus tree..


    Off the bone, Traditional Spanish cured hams..


    Bargain? Yah or Nah?
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240220_170154-jpg   Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240220_205652-jpg   Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240220_163018-jpg   Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240220_202002-jpg   Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240220_201115-jpg  

    Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240219_213214-jpg   Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240220_173115-jpg   Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240220_171010-jpg   Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240220_171245-jpg   Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240220_170522-jpg  

    Last edited by Joe 90; 21-02-2024 at 04:46 AM.

  11. #11
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bonecollector View Post
    can we have a picture of a massive pint of OG San Miguel??

    I'll see what I can do


    This trip is supposed to be a two week fitness holiday

  12. #12
    Thailand Expat DrWilly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post


    Tonights dinner was a damn fine traditional Spanish Paella ..



    No Wild Salmon!
    But the fresh squid, shellfish and King prawns were a bit of alright

    Didn’t you coincidentally have a paella about 3 days ago?

  13. #13
    Making people dance. :-)
    Edmond's Avatar
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    Nice wee retirement spot for 150k.


    How does a fine British passport affect simply moving there to live nowadays?

  14. #14
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrWilly View Post
    Didn’t you coincidentally have a paella about 3 days ago?
    Same one you mong.

    Although there was a black rice meat paella on offer tonight, the Germans were lapping it up.

    I opted for a healthy salad drenched in extra virgin olive oil and other wondrously native juices..



    Partook in a rather damn fine desert also..



    Got burnt to smithereens today on account of the 30oC heat.

    Gonna take a day off sunbathing tomorrow and explore the island, should be some good pics incoming.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240221_184736-jpg   Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240221_191029-jpg  

  15. #15
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edmond View Post
    How does a fine British passport affect simply moving there to live nowadays?
    No problem at all.

  16. #16
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    Waay too complicated for your underpowered brain box, joe.

    Stick to (possibly) your pics of your ice cream.

  17. #17
    Making people dance. :-)
    Edmond's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edmond View Post
    Nice wee retirement spot for 150k.


    How does a fine British passport affect simply moving there to live nowadays?
    How long can I stay in Spain with my British passport?

    90 days

    If travelling to Spain and other Schengen countries without a visa, make sure your whole visit is within the 90-day limit. Visits to Schengen countries within the previous 180 days before you travel count towards your 90 days.

    How much money do I need to get residency in Spain?

    In calculating the proof of income for non-lucrative residency, you must have an annual income of 400% of IPREM in your bank account. The IPREM for 2023 is €600 per month. Therefore, as an individual, you will need to have €2,400 as a regular guaranteed monthly income or a yearly income of €28,800.




    I bet there were quite a few that got done over after buying their rental income/holiday/retirement home in Marbella 10 years ago.

  18. #18
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    You're a few years late here. There are a thousand and one videos on it if you're genuinely interested.

    I remember one in particular of some dumb [at][at][at][at] who actually flew back to the UK from the Costa Brava to vote in favour of BREXIT.

    Alternatively, you could ask Joe again.
    'That's the nature of progress, isn' t it. It always goes on longer than it's needed'. - JCC

  19. #19
    Thailand Expat DrWilly's Avatar
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    He hasn’t finished his icecream yet

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat
    katie23's Avatar
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    Nice pics, chitty. I hope you're enjoying your holiday!

  21. #21
    Making people dance. :-)
    Edmond's Avatar
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    ^ I reckon he's already pregnant.


    Quote Originally Posted by cyrille View Post
    if you're genuinely interested.
    Lord no.

  22. #22
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    Yes, I knew that was a massive 'if'.

    btw, if you're not bullshitting about the pregnancy of your paramour, an 'if' that makes the previous one seem microscopic, then this happened to a housemate of mine circa 35 years ago in BKK.

    His girlfriend told him she was pregnant, then a couple of months later told him it wasn't true. She said she had just wanted to see his reaction, and if he would stand by her.

    The morning after she confessed the truth to him he told her he'd been sterilised a decade earlier and gave her the push.
    Last edited by cyrille; 22-02-2024 at 03:59 PM. Reason: typo

  23. #23
    Making people dance. :-)
    Edmond's Avatar
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    ^ Quite a different situation to that, either thankfully or unthankfully. Doubt I.... I mean me mate Derek will ever see that person again. Though she does have a google map location of one of me, one of Derek's condos, didn't give out any personal info for herself, so one day/one year her or someone else may show up at that condo and make enquiries. All a bit strange really, and really doesn't make me 'mate Derek' look like anything other than a koont. Time to grow up Derek.


    Anyway, Chitty, got a head like a tomato already or wha'.

  24. #24
    Thailand Expat

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post


    Now that's what you call a salt water pool.
    Who's the slap head?

  25. #25
    Making people dance. :-)
    Edmond's Avatar
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    I do believe that's Hal.

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