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  1. #26
    Thailand Expat DrWilly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyrille View Post
    Yes, I knew that was a massive 'if'.

    btw, if you're not bullshitting about the pregnancy of your paramour, an 'if' that makes the previous one seem microscopic, then this happened to a housemate of mine circa 35 years ago in BKK.

    His girlfriend told him she was pregnant, then a couple of months later told him it wasn't true. She said she had just wanted to see his reaction, and if he would stand by her.

    The morning after she confessed the truth to him he told her he'd been sterilised a decade earlier and gave her the push.

    I’ve heard that story before.


    probably 15 times.

  2. #27
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    Oh right.

    Sorry to mess up the scintillating repartee n that.

  3. #28
    Thailand Expat DrWilly's Avatar
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    No problem. Feel free to continue emulating Chitty if it makes you feel clever. Next challenge, cut and paste an entire bbc travel article and pretend it’s yours.

  4. #29
    Thailand Expat armstrong's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edmond View Post
    ^ Quite a different situation to that, either thankfully or unthankfully. Doubt I.... I mean me mate Derek will ever see that person again. Though she does have a google map location of one of me, one of Derek's condos, didn't give out any personal info for herself, so one day/one year her or someone else may show up at that condo and make enquiries. All a bit strange really, and really doesn't make me 'mate Derek' look like anything other than a koont. Time to grow up Derek.


    Anyway, Chitty, got a head like a tomato already or wha'.
    How'd you find out she was pregnant if neither of you exchanged personal details?

  5. #30
    Making people dance. :-)
    Edmond's Avatar
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    Personal details and Messaging Apps are two different things. Your TD name is Armstrong, but that isn't your real name and doesn't show your address, can send you messages but if one wanted to find you, it would be pretty.... Wait a minute, you didn't get PH peggers did ya?

    (I should point out that she seemed very happy with the situation and I expect it was what she really wanted, so ummm, all good I guess.)
    Last edited by Edmond; 22-02-2024 at 11:05 PM.

  6. #31
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edmond View Post
    I do believe that's Hal.

    That's not a Hal.

    This is a Hal!

    Complete with beer stained elephant shirt, what a TIT!

    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Lanzarote is not so grotty!-lery-jpg  

  7. #32
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Finally I treated myself and upgraded my t-shirt today..



    A mere €20 and a damn fine souvenir of a memorable day.

    The quest for today required sustenance.

    When in Rome..



    Only €3!
    But the drink cost more, suppose they have to make s profit somehow.
    Most of these pubs and shops here are now Chinese owned and run.

    Anyhow back to the quest!

    Hire a car and explore the Northern part of the island.

    Eventually hired the last available car which turned out to be a high tech brand new Hyundai Kona for €65. No chance of ragging this smart car as everything is monitored and you have to leave your credit card details as a deposit.
    Cheaper fuel here also..




    Still it could have been worse..



    Lubly Jubly
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_175657-jpg   Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_113137-jpg   Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_115001-jpg   Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_124301-jpg  
    Shalom

  8. #33
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    En route to the quest, I took the youngest for a trip down memory lane.

    My old house from thirty years ago still has the same aluminium door..
    Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_133100-jpg

    In fact, not much had changed around here!

    It was akin to going back in a time machine, not many places like that around the world.
    Arrieta pier, I once fell off this and caught an octopus , a local restaurant prized it off me and gave me a free meal.


    Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_130046-jpg
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_133100-jpg   Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_130046-jpg  

  9. #34
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Plenty of hippy types about, Campervans from all over Europe here. No parking charges or double yellow lines.
    Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_121835-jpg

    Crystal clear waters,heaving with fish!
    Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_131608-jpg

    A refreshing snorkel,but alas no harpoon gun this time to catch my dinner.
    Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_133122-jpg


    A repurposed jetski..
    Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_130121-jpg


    Here's something new for me

    Apparently according to the youngest, this is like skateboarding on surf.
    Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_131500-jpg
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_121835-jpg   Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_131608-jpg   Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_133122-jpg   Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_130121-jpg   Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_131500-jpg  


  10. #35
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    Looks like you guys are having a great time, many happy memories of that island. That sea looks amazing and nice T shirt!

    How much was the car rental per day?

  11. #36
    . Neverna's Avatar
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    It looks great, Joe. Green owed.



  12. #37
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bonecollector View Post
    How much was the car rental per day?
    65 euros for the day.
    Pretty high tech brand new motor.

    Had WiFi charging, made my youngest happy ..
    Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_150808-jpg

    The sat nav is only as good as the muppet using it, prefer an old skool map myself..
    Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_150705-jpg


    Come across some weird shit sometimes!

    Who paints an iron cross on a car door??
    Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_160030-jpg


    Reminded me of a story and a personal theory .

    Thirty years ago me and my bro stayed at this very isolated apartment complex up the coast here.
    It was that isolated that the water was tankered in and expensive.
    To cut a very long and possibly entertaining story short.
    The complex was owned by this horrible fat sixty year old German called Gunter who I suspect was a WW2 Nazi keeping a low profile.
    The sweaty fat Kraut SS kunt robbed our money whilst we were out earning a living.
    We denounced him to the local police in Arecife, but nothing came of it.
    So the day we moved out we turned all the taps, showers etc on and drained his precious water tanks dry.

    My bro was particularly pissed off because it was his £400 that was robbed so he left SS Gunter a nasty treat in the bedroom.

    A few months later he came frog marching over to us at a petrol station and called us " filthy English pigs"


    Naturally we laughed in his fat face and told the fat fvck of Nazi in no uncertain terms what we thought of him.

    Anyhow, I diverse.

    The quest is still on, time for a toilet break.

    TD loves a good toilet pic, mines even got a foot wash!

    Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240219_231242-jpg
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_150808-jpg   Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_150705-jpg   Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240222_160030-jpg   Lanzarote is not so grotty!-20240219_231242-jpg  

  13. #38
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    BLD's Avatar
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    Never seen the bog, foot wash combo before. Green owed

  14. #39
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    ^You'll get the stooges all fired oop with that coment BLD!

    Quote Originally Posted by katie23 View Post
    Nice pics, chitty. I hope you're enjoying your holiday!
    Yes thanks Katie.


    Right where was I?

    Yes, the mountain mission , the quest!!

    Culture and nature morphed into one giant spectacular photon.

  15. #40
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    MarilynMonroe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post
    hat's not a Hal.

    This is a Hal!

    Complete with beer stained elephant shirt, what a TIT!
    Cutey pie

    Sounds like you are enjoying yourself, great pics Joe!

    I have heard of but never been to the Canary Islands meself. Did it take you awhile to get there?

  16. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post
    Thirty years ago me and my bro stayed at this very isolated apartment complex up the coast here.
    It was that isolated that the water was tankered in and expensive.
    To cut a very long and possibly entertaining story short.
    The complex was owned by this horrible fat sixty year old German called Gunter who I suspect was a WW2 Nazi keeping a low profile.
    The sweaty fat Kraut SS kunt robbed our money whilst we were out earning a living.
    We denounced him to the local police in Arecife, but nothing came of it.
    So the day we moved out we turned all the taps, showers etc on and drained his precious water tanks dry.

    My bro was particularly pissed off because it was his £400 that was robbed so he left SS Gunter a nasty treat in the bedroom.

    A few months later he came frog marching over to us at a petrol station and called us " filthy English pigs"


    Naturally we laughed in his fat face and told the fat fvck of Nazi in no uncertain terms what we thought of him.
    Wow, crazy story!
    How long did you live there ? Going down memory lane will bring back memories I guess.. some not always pleasant!

  17. #42
    Making people dance. :-)
    Edmond's Avatar
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    Looks like a nice break from February in Stoke.

    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post
    Thirty years ago me and my bro stayed at this very isolated apartment complex up the coast here.

    The complex was owned by this horrible fat sixty year old German called Gunter who I suspect was a WW2 Nazi keeping a low profile.
    He would have been 4/5 - 9/10 years old during WWII.

  18. #43
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    Bonecollector's Avatar
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    ^ Hitler youth then ffs

    Great story

  19. #44
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    Great thread.

    If boiled eggs could display emotions, this is what I think they would look like once the 3 minutes in the pan is up.


  20. #45
    Making people dance. :-)
    Edmond's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edmond View Post
    Looks like a nice break from February in Stoke.



    He would have been 4/5 - 9/10 years old during WWII.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bonecollector View Post
    ^ Hitler youth then ffs
    Upon reaching his 10th birthday, a German boy was registered and investigated (especially for “racial purity”) and, if qualified, inducted into the Deutsches Jungvolk (“German Young People”). At age 13 the youth became eligible for the Hitler Youth, from which he was graduated at age 18.




    This isn't a forum for BS, BC.

  21. #46
    Thailand Expat DrWilly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post
    65 euros for the day.
    Pretty high tech brand new motor.

    Had WiFi charging, made my youngest happy ..


    The sat nav is only as good as the muppet using it, prefer an old skool map myself..



    Come across some weird shit sometimes!

    Who paints an iron cross on a car door??



    Reminded me of a story and a personal theory .

    Thirty years ago me and my bro stayed at this very isolated apartment complex up the coast here.
    It was that isolated that the water was tankered in and expensive.
    To cut a very long and possibly entertaining story short.
    The complex was owned by this horrible fat sixty year old German called Gunter who I suspect was a WW2 Nazi keeping a low profile.
    The sweaty fat Kraut SS kunt robbed our money whilst we were out earning a living.
    We denounced him to the local police in Arecife, but nothing came of it.
    So the day we moved out we turned all the taps, showers etc on and drained his precious water tanks dry.

    My bro was particularly pissed off because it was his £400 that was robbed so he left SS Gunter a nasty treat in the bedroom.

    A few months later he came frog marching over to us at a petrol station and called us " filthy English pigs"


    Naturally we laughed in his fat face and told the fat fvck of Nazi in no uncertain terms what we thought of him.

    Anyhow, I diverse.

    The quest is still on, time for a toilet break.

    TD loves a good toilet pic, mines even got a foot wash!

    What a surprise, chav kids act like filth.

  22. #47
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    He spent a week incessantly saying I had ‘shit the bed’ once.

    It appears to be ‘a thing’ with him, indeed a thing with his family.

    Wonder if he has pikey blood.

    Anyway, I ‘diverse’.


  23. #48
    Making people dance. :-)
    Edmond's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post
    Who paints an iron cross on a car door??
    Isn't it one of the symbols from the templar knights during the crusades?


    Anyway, looks like some fun in the sun.

  24. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyrille View Post
    He spent a week incessantly saying I had ‘shit the bed’ once.

    I:
    Was it more than once? Asking for a friend

  25. #50
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Maybe the Kraut was in the 40-50 age range, everyone over 40 looks ancient when you're 20.
    Also his demeanour and arrogance with the tattoo of his blood group on his arm nailed it.
    Wouldn't surprise me if more of his lot were hiding out here after WW2. I heard there was a U-boat refuelling station in the Canary Islands.
    I'm sure the Stooges will contradict me with some C&P.

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