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  1. #1101
    Thailand Expat
    Reg Dingle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyrille View Post
    ^^Here's one for you.

    Your chin has jizz on it.

    Do you...

    A) Wash it off with water.

    B) Wipe it off with paper.
    I'd make you lick it off you sick fuck

  2. #1102
    Thailand Expat armstrong's Avatar
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    Speaking of posh toilets. This seemed a bit out of place from the quality establishment I was in last night.

    Same shit, different ship-img_20240223_192351-jpg
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Same shit, different ship-img_20240223_192351-jpg  

  3. #1103
    CCBW Stumpy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reg Dingle View Post
    Then there's all the fecal matter you and anyone else who uses your shitter, spray all around your bathroom.
    I think you are using it wrong Dil. You don't stand on the seat and then wash your ass.

  4. #1104
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mendip View Post
    I'm here!



    She's a bit older than my last boat but will do well enough... for the time being.
    if they sack you make sure you delete the viking, pre-fix the company name and suffix with "Around" in a nighttime ninja raid with a spray can.

  5. #1105
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    Quote Originally Posted by armstrong View Post
    Speaking of posh toilets. This seemed a bit out of place from the quality establishment I was in last night.

    well done for not leaving any drips on the floor.

  6. #1106
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    Quote Originally Posted by bsnub View Post
    I don't have a bum gun.

    I have this...

    a bloke to wash your arse, after a woman has told him how to do it?

  7. #1107
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    Mendip's Avatar
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    ^ Or,

    C) Reciprocate the act on your boyfriend?

  8. #1108
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    Glad you finally made it. Now we need updates on.....the chef and his culinary array, the crew that aren't blokes or non-binary, the gym situation, your cabin arrangements and whether you have secured refrigerated stowage for Jess's over-ripe Babybels. A work update might me nice if you get round to it too. Pip pip.

  9. #1109
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stumpy View Post
    Katie might chime in on this but Filipinos always use what they called a Buttcup. Usually a big plastic cup and wash after. Don't use an asswasher. Every house I owned I added them.
    Are you referring to a dipper/ "tabo"? The plastic thingy with a handle on it?

    Yes, they are still common in many (or most) Filipino homes. Those who are more posh or modern have installed bum guns in their loos. For older houses or for the proletariat, the dipper is still the norm. Some houses don't have heaters in their showers - but then, for most of the months the water that comes out of the tap is warm.

    @malmomike - you're quite demanding! Remember that Mendy is there to do a job, not to pander to our wants. He did show his living quarters - very utilitarian.

    @mendy - pics of the food on board will be appreciated. Is the cook Filipino or Brit? Do you have Filipino seafarers on that boat? (from what I know, they're usually on the Scandi vessels, but what do I know?! All I know is that most of them gain weight while on board bcos of the abundance of food in those boats.)

  10. #1110
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    Mendip's Avatar
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    ^^ I don't really have time for this but...

    The food is thus far good although I am of course only taking small portions. Pictures in due course when I get settled in.

    From what I can see the crew is 90% male apart from an Italian geo, the medic, a couple of Filipina stewardesses and a whale watcher.

    I managed to get my cheese into the cols store on day 1. Along with the daughter's Babybels is strong Cheddar, Red Leicester and Wensleydale. It's all vacuum packed so should be OK for this '3 week' project, although seeing as I am now on day 9 and we haven't actually started, I reckon I'll get 5 weeks out of this job easily. I had a panic yesterday when I remembered that I'd left a pork pie in the cheese bag... I don't want to cause a health scare. Luckily the chief steward is an OK guy and took me back to my bag so I could remove it.

    There were delays during the night and this morning we are here. I'm looking forward to seeing the view as we pass through the channel in a couple of hours.



    Next week we have a crew change in Ullapool, when two of my new 'Aberdeen' shipmates depart. Due to all the delays they will be going home just as the job starts.

  11. #1111
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    Mendip's Avatar
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    Last night I went to the gym... yes on day 2 which isn't bad. I find that if I get into the gym early in a trip I can keep it going but if I leave it a few days it just never happens.

    It was quite a trek just to find the damn place.

    I had to go out onto the back deck...



    Through the doorway...



    Down the stairway...



    Up and down another small stairway, and then along the corridor and through that black door...



    And there it was.



    Not quite what I'm used to but not badly equipped, I guess. There's no telly which is a major drawback.



    But it should suffice for my modest needs.



    The treadmills are all that I'm really interested in, and there are two. An old mate of mine is onboard and on the same shift so hopefully we can badger each other into going every night.



    And not a bad effort for my first session, especially after a week on the piss in Aberdeen!



    My intention is to go every night straight after shift. Not only will this be good exercise but I'll also miss the evening meal, a double win. I'm wary about losing too much weight however seeing as I've just bought eight pairs of those camo shorts and want to get my money's worth.

  12. #1112
    Making people dance. :-)
    Edmond's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mendip View Post
    I am now on day 9 and we haven't actually started
    Dis fooker.

    Spends 6 months lazing around the place at home, fishing in his fish pond all day, then when he eventually goes to work, spends the first 9 days drinking pints and eating curry without so much as lifting a finger.

    I'm contacting the OU now to see if I can change me Masters to ..... what was it again, mendology, right?

  13. #1113
    Thailand Expat klong toey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stumpy View Post
    I think you are using it wrong Dil. You don't stand on the seat and then wash your ass.
    I think he does a head stand and then squirts.

  14. #1114
    Making people dance. :-)
    Edmond's Avatar
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    ^ 5km, good man Mendo.

    Is that a rowing machine on the left of the top pic?

    If so, Somtamslap swears by them, as the only machine you need, I believe he declares. Slappers is like the Baldrick of technology, listen when he speaks.

  15. #1115
    Thailand Expat armstrong's Avatar
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    Careful you don't post pics of the treadmill too often Mendy. They're quite touchy about that around here.

  16. #1116
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    Topper's Avatar
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    Hatch, not a door and ladder not a stairway.

  17. #1117
    Thailand Expat armstrong's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Topper View Post
    Hatch, not a door and ladder not a stairway.
    Look like stairs to me

  18. #1118
    Making people dance. :-)
    Edmond's Avatar
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    If the weather pushes them south, it could be the Stairway to Devon.

  19. #1119
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    The only way to keep a clean ring is to insert the jet directly ensuing a blow back off nuts and raisins.

    This procedure performed daily reduces klingons and the need for paper to virtually zero percent.

  20. #1120
    In Uranus
    bsnub's Avatar
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    On the rotgut a bit early eh Chits?


  21. #1121
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post
    insert the jet directly
    This actually explains quite a lot.

    For a start, it explains why you've spent so much time in North Africa and have a fkin weird fixation on defecation.

    You're on holiday and have spent more time on this 'hobby' of yours over the last couple of days than Jeff has.
    'That's the nature of progress, isn' t it. It always goes on longer than it's needed'. - JCC

  22. #1122
    Thailand Expat
    Mendip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Topper View Post
    Hatch, not a door and ladder not a stairway.
    I was trying to simplify it for the landlubbers.

    I'll go with 'hatch' but not so sure about 'ladder' for those steps.


    Quote Originally Posted by Edmond View Post
    If the weather pushes them south, it could be the Stairway to Devon.
    Don't give up your day job... oh...


    Anyway, if you do happen to blast faecal matter up your back using a high-powered bum gun you may want to visit the laundry.

    The laundry in this ship is right up in the bows, a common place I've noticed and not sure why. Maybe it's just useful to use up the narrow space with something that will fit.

    After a week in Aberdeen I was getting pretty desperate and it was a relief to drop of my bag of washing at the laundry yesterday. This included the underwear I wore on my long haul flight last Friday, so good luck to the poor stewardess who handled my clothes.



    On this boat there is no delivery service, you drop off your laundry one day and have to go back to pick up your laundered clothes the next. This has reminded me that my washing should now be ready so I'll go and take a look.

    There's a small store room just fore of the laundry, right in the bows. The 'bitter end' is the final part of the anchor chain, where it's attached to the ship.



    A very nautical looking space.



    The origin of the phrase 'bitter end'...

    The phrase almost certainly comes from our Nautical Past. A “bitter” was a wooden post through the deck or gunnels of a ship. They would be used as modern-day cleats to secure lines. The bitter end of the line in the part hung or secured to the bitter.

    After 30 plus years doing this shit I've picked up a few things, and one is to always bring my own mug on an offshore trip. The cups on vessels are invariably too small.

    I picked up this one at Dr DIY in The Mall, Korat for only 59 Baht and it's just the job.


  23. #1123
    Making people dance. :-)
    Edmond's Avatar
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    Stairway to heaven - Stairway to Devon... yeah, well, I thought it was good.


    For some reasons I was surprised to see the ship's deck made out of wooden planks. Not sure why I was surprised at that. Are most ships constructed now with metal decks and somesort of grippy covering?

  24. #1124
    Making people dance. :-)
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    I see Health & Safety have been around and stuck an up arrow on the ladder.


    Just in case someone tries to go down through the floor.

  25. #1125
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edmond View Post
    For some reasons I was surprised to see the ship's deck made out of wooden planks.
    The planks cover the steel deck for protection is my guess. What's the printer/plotter for? Is paper still used for something other than Reg's ass?

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