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  1. #1076
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reg Dingle View Post
    ^ You'll have a couple of acres spraying freezing cold Northern water round your nether regions
    Not if it is connected to the hot feed.

    They sell the Japanese toilets now in the UK that have temperature controlled spray nozzles that can be accurately positioned by a remote control panel and a hot air drying system that blows hot air at a chosen velocity and temperature. They cost an arm and a leg, but banish stubborn clag nuts, messy smearage and embarrasing skid marks and make toilet paper redundant.

  2. #1077
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    ^ They have those fancy Japanese toilets in Terminal 21 in Korat. It's worth getting dragged out shopping now and again just to get to sit on one.

  3. #1078
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    Looks like you are having a nice little break in the wee town. Thanks for the photos and little bit of history.

  4. #1079
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    Quote Originally Posted by taxexile View Post
    Not if it is connected to the hot feed.

    They sell the Japanese toilets now in the UK that have temperature controlled spray nozzles that can be accurately positioned by a remote control panel and a hot air drying system that blows hot air at a chosen velocity and temperature. They cost an arm and a leg, but banish stubborn clag nuts, messy smearage and embarrasing skid marks and make toilet paper redundant.
    Yes . Top marks to the Japanese for giving the world the jap toilet. The Sphincters of the UK salute you.

  5. #1080
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLD View Post
    The Sphincters of the UK salute you.
    Aren't you an Ozzie? As a red blooded American, I know my sphincter is in awe of a good bum gun.

  6. #1081
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    Reg Dingle's Avatar
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    Wheres he gone?

    Anyone else worried about the stability of his new boat after the hasty repair of its crane, or this young buck of a new wingman/ shipmate drilling him senseless?

  7. #1082
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reg Dingle View Post
    Anyone else worried about the stability of his new boat after the hasty repair of its crane
    far be it for me to jump to conclusions but is anyone else thinking they had to fix the crane before Mendip could board

    Quote Originally Posted by Reg Dingle View Post
    Wheres he gone?
    hopefully the crane held

  8. #1083
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by malmomike77 View Post
    anyone else thinking they had to fix the crane before Mendip could board
    How else could they get him aboard?

  9. #1084
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  10. #1085
    Thailand Expat DrWilly's Avatar
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    Perhaps this boat doesn’t have internet on board. It’ll be a long three weeks for him.

    And he’ll miss posting on teakdoor

  11. #1086
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reg Dingle View Post
    young buck of a new wingman/ shipmate drilling him senseless?
    Are they sharing a cabin?

  12. #1087
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reg Dingle View Post
    Wheres he gone?
    I'm here!

    I'm a bit busy to be honest for this but wanted to put everyone's mind at rest.

    I finally boarded my new vessel in Peterhead yesterday morning.



    She's a bit older than my last boat but will do well enough... for the time being.



    It was nice to finally get onboard as a week in Aberdeen hasn't been kind to my waistline and a week of lazing about in shitty hotel rooms, drinking cheap alcohol and stuffing my face on fry-ups and pork pies was enough. Time to get busy.

    I boarded the same way as everyone else... up the gangway. The newly repaired ship's crane wasn't necessary although my bags were considerably heavier than when I arrived in Aberdeen a week ago. I reckon there's around 8kg of cheese in there, and hopefully 10kg of sausages, back bacon, black pudding and smoked cod and haddock will join the cheese when I get off this boat. There's a great butcher in Peterhead who will vacuum pack everything for travel.



    On boarding a new ship it's customary to go straight up to the bridge and hand over your passport. At times it may be necessary for the vessel to give authorities personnel passport details if and when we enter new waters, go alongside for crew changes, and you don't want to get woken up just to give the bridge your passport.



    To the fore...



    And aft...



    I'm on a 6am to 6pm shift so went straight into it on boarding the vessel yesterday morning.I had a pretty shitty first shift... I hate joining new vessels with all the new routines and new people and spent most of the day thinking, 'what the fuk am I doing here, I'm too old for this shit', and was glad when the end of my shift came so I could go to my cabin and sulk. I was missing my daughter and the dogs as well.



    It's not the most salubrious of cabins I've ever had but it will serve. I'm sharing with a geo from Pakistan on the nightshift and when he had a sleep in the daytime he very kindly took the top bunk. Top bunks are a nightmare if you need to pee in the night.



    And no, strangely enough I wasn't getting 'drilled senseless' by a young buck of a new wingman/ shipmate. I just read my book for a while and went to sleep.



    When I started my second shift at 6am we were still just off Peterhead doing verifications and calibrations to make sure all is in order before sailing for the worksite. I pulled meself out of my glumness today and had a good shift... that bad attitude won't get the daughter through university... I need to impress these guys and get a regular rota.



    That headland is Peterhead.



    And we're still here 14 hours later.

    Tonight we're supposed to be heading for the worksite in the Western Isles, and sailing sailing through the channel between the tip of Scootland and the Orkneys. The channel is around a 7 hour steam away but I'd like to get delayed a bit so that we transit through once I'm up and on shift tomorrow in daylight, as I've never worked in this area before and it'd be nice to see the scenery.

    So, a small delay would be good, but a big delay even better as then it will be impossible to pass though the channel due to a combination of the weather coming up and extremely strong water current due to spring tides. There's 6 metre waves forecast for early Saturday morning.

    Oh dear, then we'd have to wait for the weather to come down.


  13. #1088
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    Quote Originally Posted by Topper View Post
    Aren't you an Ozzie? As a red blooded American, I know my sphincter is in awe of a good bum gun.
    The first thing I done when I moved back to.oz was install 1 in each toilet..I am indeed in awe of the jap toilet and the arse blaster. A jap toilet would be a luxury. Don't think I've ever seen one here
    Last edited by BLD; 24-02-2024 at 05:58 AM.

  14. #1089
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLD View Post
    I am indeed in awe of the jap toilet and the arse blaster. A jap toilet would be a luxury. Don't think I've ever seen one here
    I have them installed in my house and would never go back to paper. I dread shitting when away from home.

  15. #1090
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLD View Post
    The first thing I done when I moved back to.oz was install 1 in each toilet..I am indeed in awe of the jap toilet and the arse blaster. A jap toilet would be a luxury. Don't think I've ever seen one here
    Are there Japanese owned hotels or casino-hotels there? The Okada casino-hotel in Manila (Pasay city) has those high tech toilets, even in the common areas for the public.

  16. #1091
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    Quote Originally Posted by bsnub View Post
    I dread shitting when away from home.
    Is that because of the grapefruit sized piles you suffer from?

  17. #1092
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    Quote Originally Posted by bsnub View Post
    I have them installed in my house and would never go back to paper. I dread shitting when away from home.
    I installed ass washers at my parents house in Napa being I stay there for extended time and my dad loves it. He used them here when he came to visit and asked for them back home.

    One thing living here is dropping a deuce away from home is a non issue. Ass washers are standard unless you get out in bumfuknowhere and they still have squat toilets and a plastic bowl with a bucket.

  18. #1093
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    Quote Originally Posted by taxexile View Post
    Is that because of the grapefruit sized piles you suffer from?
    Along comes the moronic fantasist making up stupid shit again. No pun intended. You are a repetitive, boring old fool, I will give you that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Stumpy View Post
    One thing living here is dropping a deuce away from home is a non issue. Ass washers are standard
    I really do not understand why something so pleasant has not caught on in the US. Only as small percentage of homes have these convenances.

  19. #1094
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    Quote Originally Posted by bsnub View Post
    fantasist making up stupid shit again.
    *giggle*

  20. #1095
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    Quote Originally Posted by bsnub View Post
    I really do not understand why something so pleasant has not caught on in the US. Only as small percentage of homes have these convenances
    Me neither. You know when I was raising my daughters I installed one to wash them during a diaper change to avoid buying pack after pack of baby wipes. Saved us a small fortune.

    Katie might chime in on this but Filipinos always use what they called a Buttcup. Usually a big plastic cup and wash after. Don't use an asswasher. Every house I owned I added them.

    The hotel I am leaving today has one of those fancy Japanese toilets. I don't really care for them. Simple asswasher with high pressure is the best.

    Hey this thread is titled Same Shit....... so content is close.

  21. #1096
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stumpy View Post
    fancy Japanese toilets
    That is what I have, they have a built-in bidet.

  22. #1097
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    Quote Originally Posted by bsnub View Post
    I really do not understand why something so pleasant has not caught on in the US
    How deep do you go with your bum gun, bro? I don't think you are meant to insert it

    Bum guns make no sense in places like the UK where it takes 5 minutes for hot water to reach the tap and unlike being in Thailand you are not gonna dry very quick.

    Then there's all the fecal matter you and anyone else who uses your shitter, spray all around your bathroom.

    Here's a question to ask yourself...

    If you stood in shit would you

    A... wipe it with toilet roll
    B... just spray it with water

    So there's your answer and why you filthy fucks suffer from pruritus ani

  23. #1098
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reg Dingle View Post
    How deep do you go with your bum gun, bro?
    I don't have a bum gun.

    I have this...


  24. #1099
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    ^^Here's one for you.

    Your chin has jizz on it.

    Do you...

    A) Wash it off with water.

    B) Wipe it off with paper.

  25. #1100
    Thailand Expat DrWilly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reg Dingle View Post
    How deep do you go with your bum gun, bro? I don't think you are meant to insert it

    Bum guns make no sense in places like the UK where it takes 5 minutes for hot water to reach the tap and unlike being in Thailand you are not gonna dry very quick.

    Then there's all the fecal matter you and anyone else who uses your shitter, spray all around your bathroom.

    Here's a question to ask yourself...

    If you stood in shit would you

    A... wipe it with toilet roll
    B... just spray it with water

    So there's your answer and why you filthy fucks suffer from pruritus ani

    You’re using it wrong if you’re spraying fecal matter around the room. You have to wash your ass, that needs a hand and running water.

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