Returning from California after 26 years:

[KEVIN2008]

Returning from California after 26 years: My Irish friends say ‘Don’t do it’


Mark Czerwin: ‘I’ve had a good run of it here in the OC, but as I’ve grown older my priorities have changed; I’m less materialistic and more enthusiastic about living in a culture where people know and care about each other.’

I left my home in Clontarf in Dublin for Orange County, California in 1988, aged 22.

I had an American girlfriend who I had met in Phoenix Arizona, during one of my summer trips to make money on a J1 while studying for my engineering degree at Trinity.

Back then, I was attracted to her liveliness and fun-loving nature. To me, Irish girls in the 80s seemed somewhat dull in comparison. The job market was not great then either, and that combined with the dreary weather and decaying Dublin city made me make the move.

I had no idea how hard it would be for the first few years to live away from family and friends in a strange environment, but I worked hard, made some friends, got married and had two kids.

Over the years I would always come back to Dublin at least once a year, but that just seemed to stir my homesickness for the dirty old town. It was always heart wrenching to hear about my friends getting together and having the craic. This only got worse with the advent of social media, when I started to see photos of what I was missing.
But I tried to put Ireland out of my mind and focus on my life here; the fantastic weather and outdoor lifestyle we have in Southern California, the low cost of everything, and the variety and selection of goods available made being away from home seem worthwhile.

Now, I have just turned 50 and I’ve been divorced for 15 years. The kids are grown and doing their own thing. I have a girlfriend here, a nice house with a view, a three-car garage, boat, motorcycle, Mustang convertible, SUV, surfboards, snowboards and more possessions than I could ever need. Yes, it’s a good life, filled with sun and sea.
But… it’s a dog eat dog society. The reason people come to the US, and especially the west coast, is because they are ambitious go-getters. This can sometimes make them selfish and not very outgoing. Striking up a conversation with someone at a bar, or even talking to your neighbours can be a challenge.

After all these years I have some friends who I see occasionally, but it’s nothing like walking around to the local or going to a rugby game and meeting up with the lads. Orange County is an urban sprawl, there is no city centre where people gather. Instead there are shopping malls, and you have to drive everywhere. Getting around is difficult for older people, or even those who like the odd drink. Good luck finding a bar open past 10pm.

I think it’s time for a change. I’m weighing up two options: move back to Dublin, back to the family home to look after my aging mammy and grow old with my good friends. I would work for half what I get paid here and pay twice the price for most things, and my Irish friends say “Don’t do it”. But I don’t mind about these things anymore.

Plan B is to buy a yacht and cruise the world on a fixed income budget. I might do some online work part time, but for the most part I would sail from port to port, swimming, fishing and paddle boarding until I get too old to do it anymore and then I’ll return to Dublin.

Either way I’m starting to wrap things up here, selling my toys on Craigslist and eBay and putting the house on the market. I’ve had a good run of it here in the OC, but as I’ve grown older my priorities have changed; I’m less materialistic and more enthusiastic about living in a culture where people know and care about each other.

Since I’ve left, I’ve changed, Ireland’s changed and the OC has changed. Now I’m looking at things with a different perspective and what I’m looking at has also morphed. It’s time to act on that realisation.

Returning from California after 26 years: My Irish friends say ?Don?t do it?

[KEVIN2008]

Home is where the heart is....

[fishlocker]

Singapore has a big yacht show. If you got it like that tour The South China Sea, Andaman ect. Does the gf want to sail with you? Bring your old friends for short tours for a fee of food and fuel. Visit mammy in rainy season. Sounds good but not for everyone. Tough decision. If you haven't a crew I would travel land. So much to do so little time. Good luck.

[terry57]

Jesus,

Solo sailing is not everyone's cup of tea.

I could not think of anything worse.

[Kurgen]

Solo sailing

is that Aussie for wanking?

[Lancelot]

Good for the Irish guy, he made some money in the US and maybe it will go a lot further back home in Ireland- nothing wrong with an arbitrage.

He could live more of stress free life in the US, especially in a more rural setting, but it sounds like he was home sick and their is only one cure for that.

[BaitongBoy]

Well, lawmen aren't supposed to drink when they're on the job...At least he doesn't shoot first and ask questions later...Gotta be careful in Orange County...Wasn't that where Orenthal was stalking and killing his ex and her friend?...

I found the Irishman's story interesting and pretty well written...It's the time of life we all must "travel through"...

Your mileage will vary...Pomp and circumstance, and all that jazz...

[KEVIN2008]

There are probably many middle aged farangs in Thailand with exactly the same thoughts.

Very true.........

[KEVIN2008]

Very interesting and well written....There is an art to moving country and no place is perfect, having lived in 4 countries, including LOS...... I found each to have its charm and drawbacks. Ultimately, it comes down to where your heart is and that can be accentuated by family,friends, community or culture. Money or sunshine rarely hacks it in the long term......

[californiabeachbum]

An interesting read. As someone who lives in SoCal but has lived in other parts of the world, I have a couple of comments:

Be careful about thinking that other cultures care more about other people. I think that has to do more with the people you spend time with, and not the culture.

Plan A sounds a whole lot better than Plan B. Growing old with family and friends is better than growing old by yourself out in the Pacific Ocean.

Good luck.

[Boon Mee]

Since I’ve left, I’ve changed, Ireland’s changed and the OC has changed.

Actually, Orange County isn't all that bad apart from being too expensive. When I was growing up there you'd never see a blue sky due to the smog drifting down from LA.

These days, OC is a lot greaner, clear skies and the traffic moves better than here although this poster isn't moving back anytime soon

[OhOh]

Growing old with family and friends is better than growing old by yourself out in the Pacific Ocean.

he has a family , kids and a girlfriend in OC. You don't last long in the middle of an ocean on your own unless want to be there.

The auld country and memories are always seen through rosy spectacles. Take a 6 months visit and see if you still feel the same.

[fishlocker]

I would revisit Robert Redford in "All is Lost" before a solo blue water run. At 77 years old he did most of the stunts but said " the dismal daily routine of being perpetually waterlogged was the most grueling aspect of filming." Quote "filming." On the other hand Robert Frosts' poem "The road not taken" rings true with all us rat racers clinging to the status quo like one brown mouse sitting in a cage.

[Humbert]

The yacht sailing adventure sounds great but it's difficult to do it for more than a few years. I have friends from SF who sold their business and set out around the world. They are artists and they settled for a year in Spain and did their art and sold it in galleries around the Mediterranean. They got tired of it after 4 years and settled in Paeonia, CO where they opened a winery. Got a have a plan B for when the lust for sailing peters out.

[Boon Mee]

He loves it...And Huskies are hard workers, too...However, I fear he may be eaten in China...

I used to call a tour guide we had when up in China a couple years back a 'Capitalist Running Dog'.

He thought that was funny as fuck!

[BaitongBoy]

Nice to have a sense of humour...Makes for a better life, indeed...

[OhOh]

Got a have a plan B for when the lust for sailing peters out.

Lets all live out our Plan A before worrying about Plans B, C, D ...........

When the time comes; we can take stock of what we have, where we want to go and who wants to come along.