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  1. #1
    I am in Jail

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    Marseille to London

    17 years old and I found myself in Marseille , South of France with no money, no friends, nowhere to live and nothing to eat , so I deiced to go back home . Easy, telephoned my Mum , reverse charges and asked to to send me some money over , "stay there and dont come back" was the reply . Needed to think again, take the bull by the horns and just go . Walked to the train station and saw a train going to some city between Marseille and Paris , got on it and went to the sleeper compartment , I climbed up into the luggage rack, with was deep , some guy later got on the train and placed his luggage in front of me in the luggage rack , the train pulled of and of we went to the City , we arrived , everyone got off and no one even noticed that I was there . Right in the station, found a train going to Paris , no sleeper compartment, so sat in a normal seat . Ticket collector came around and asked for tickets , told him that I didnt have one , he got his note pad out and asked for my name and date of birth and so I told him . His face lit up and he said "congratulations" I said "what" He said "Happy Birthday , youre 18 today" "Am I", he shook my hand and off he went . A couple of hours later another ticket collector came around, he was so nice , he asked for me ticket and I told him that I didnt have one and he asked to se my passport, which I gave to him and he waited with and and told me to get off the train at the next station, which we both did . It was dark, on a platform in a small town in France and the train was slowly drawing away and I noticed that one of the train windows was open , coming towards me , I threw my bag through the window and dived in head first . The ticket collector began whistling and waving his flag , but the train kept going , I smiled at him and gave him a wave as the train drew out the platform . Made it to Paris . Spent a pleasant few days there, sleeping under the Arc de Triumph . Went to the Eiffel tower and told them tha tI left my bag at the top , and was told to go and get it , off I went to the top of the Eiffel tower . Went and sat at the bar and asked them "What happened to my beer, did you throw it away" "Sorry," She said and got me a replacement Wandering around Paris I went into an Estate agent to ask whether they needed ant newspapers delivered or anything , she look at me quizzically and asked me why I wanted to do that . I told her that I was trying to get back to London and had no money . She gave me ten Francs and wished me luck . Nice stay in Paris , but time to move on, walked to the Calais direction train station and located the Calais bound train , I couldnt find anywhere to avoid the ticket collectors , so I went and sat in the trains engine . Arrived at Calais , must have been about 2 AM and saw a ferry in the docks , "Wheres that going" I asked someone "Dover" Right, just needed to get on it . Wandered around the docks and saw some wasteland and there was a warning sign about not crossing because there were alarm laser beams which would be triggered if you tried to cross , A fox then ran through without triggering the alarm . Hmmmmm , got on my belly and crawled across the wasteland avoiding the laser beams and just walked straight onto the boat, with no passport or ticket checks . The ferry departed a few hours later and they had an all you can eat buffet on it , I was standing in the queue and we must have hit a big wave because the ferry rocked and everyone stumbled around and when I regained my composure , I was on the otherside of the paying place , The ferry was rocking all over the place , so I couldnt eat much . Arrived in Dover and walked through immigration and I just told the guy that I lost my passport , he just tutted and waved me through . Went and sat in the newspaper compartment of a London bound train , changed trains, got to Teddington and walked home.................Ive stil got those ten Francs........and the French ticket collector has still got my passport

  2. #2
    I'm in Jail

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    You're a fucking wild man fluke, I wanna party with you.

  3. #3
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Cool story bro


    Use paragraphs in future, though.

    My eyes have just imploded.

  4. #4
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    "....stay there and don't come back"

    Feeling the familial bond and love.

  5. #5
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    Your French must be impeccable, to land a job like that.
    er, zis estate agent ,
    viz on ze copy backpacker story,
    French literature wins Booker award.

  6. #6
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    Sorry got mixed up with the BBC real awards reporting, a Noble prize award, for literature.

  7. #7
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    Well done Fluke, great story, your best post by a long way.

    Green sent.

  8. #8
    Banned

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    what a bum

  9. #9
    I'm in Jail

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    Entertaining story, and cunning ways to get through. Reminds me of someone who was in Tibet, and when the Chinese army came to hassle them and ask where they had come from, they pointed in the direction they wanted to go in.
    So they got sent "back".

  10. #10
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    Reminds me of my old hitch hiking days all those years ago. I found it a breeze. First you need to pick your point. Somewhere they have slowed down to join say the motorway and can give you a look over and decide if they are going to stop.
    The one rouse I used to great effect was to stand on the Southern filter lane with a sign for somewhere North of my point. Pretty soon some kind person will stop and tell me I was on the wrong side of the motorway. I would then tell then where I was actually going which was South and 9 times out of 10 got my lift.
    It works because if someone is going to take the time out to stop and tell you that you are on the wrong side they are going to give you a lift if they are going near where you want to go
    Treat everyone as a complete and utter idiot and you can only ever be pleasantly surprised !

  11. #11
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    charleyboy's Avatar
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    Great story, Fluke.

    Reminds me of the times, when I used to buy a 1 penny platform ticket and ride the train from Lancaster to Morecambe and back.

  12. #12
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    Bettyboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by charleyboy
    a 1 penny platform ticket

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by charleyboy
    Great story, Fluke.

    Reminds me of the times, when I used to buy a 1 penny platform tick
    .
    But the OP idn't buy anything... nor did he make any oath to come back at a later date and repay anyboy, he even thinks its funny that someone still has his passport.

    I tell you who I feel sorry for in this story, the poor cnut who tried to commit identity fraud with Flukes passport

  14. #14
    . Neverna's Avatar
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    What did your mother say when you got back home, Fluke?

  15. #15
    Thailand Expat Pragmatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neverna
    What did your mother say when you got back home, Fluke?
    Nothing, she'd moved.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fluke
    I noticed that one of the train windows was open , coming towards me , I threw my bag through the window and dived in head first .
    Them French trains must have big low down windows?

  16. #16
    I am in Jail

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pragmatic View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Neverna
    What did your mother say when you got back home, Fluke?
    Nothing, she'd moved.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fluke
    I noticed that one of the train windows was open , coming towards me , I threw my bag through the window and dived in head first .
    Them French trains must have big low down windows?
    Four /five foot off the ground, not much of a chore for a six foot agile athletic 18 year old

  17. #17
    I am in Jail

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    Quote Originally Posted by Neverna View Post
    What did your mother say when you got back home, Fluke?
    Nothing, just ignored me

  18. #18
    I am in Jail

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by charleyboy
    Great story, Fluke.

    Reminds me of the times, when I used to buy a 1 penny platform tick
    .
    But the OP idn't buy anything... nor did he make any oath to come back at a later date and repay anyboy, he even thinks its funny that someone still has his passport.

    I tell you who I feel sorry for in this story, the poor cnut who tried to commit identity fraud with Flukes passport
    Youre right D , I just sent SNCF the train fare , as well as BR and the Eiffle tower the entrance money..............................P&O are no longer going, so I will make a donation to the seamans mission

  19. #19
    Thailand Expat harrybarracuda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neverna View Post
    What did your mother say when you got back home, Fluke?
    "Who the f*** are you?".

  20. #20

  21. #21
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    you're a wrong un, any more stories like that ?

  22. #22
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    Nice story i really enjoyed my reading and would say one thing buddy! Live your life in your way...

    How simple is that

  23. #23
    R.I.P. Luigi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by halen View Post
    Nice story i really enjoyed my reading and would say one thing buddy! Live your life in your way...

    How simple is that
    Pretty simple.

  24. #24
    Thailand Expat Pragmatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by halen
    Nice story i really enjoyed my reading and would say one thing buddy! Live your life in your way... How simple is that
    As simple as the OP.

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