17 years old and I found myself in Marseille , South of France with no money, no friends, nowhere to live and nothing to eat , so I deiced to go back home . Easy, telephoned my Mum , reverse charges and asked to to send me some money over , "stay there and dont come back" was the reply . Needed to think again, take the bull by the horns and just go . Walked to the train station and saw a train going to some city between Marseille and Paris , got on it and went to the sleeper compartment , I climbed up into the luggage rack, with was deep , some guy later got on the train and placed his luggage in front of me in the luggage rack , the train pulled of and of we went to the City , we arrived , everyone got off and no one even noticed that I was there . Right in the station, found a train going to Paris , no sleeper compartment, so sat in a normal seat . Ticket collector came around and asked for tickets , told him that I didnt have one , he got his note pad out and asked for my name and date of birth and so I told him . His face lit up and he said "congratulations" I said "what" He said "Happy Birthday , youre 18 today" "Am I", he shook my hand and off he went . A couple of hours later another ticket collector came around, he was so nice , he asked for me ticket and I told him that I didnt have one and he asked to se my passport, which I gave to him and he waited with and and told me to get off the train at the next station, which we both did . It was dark, on a platform in a small town in France and the train was slowly drawing away and I noticed that one of the train windows was open , coming towards me , I threw my bag through the window and dived in head first . The ticket collector began whistling and waving his flag , but the train kept going , I smiled at him and gave him a wave as the train drew out the platform . Made it to Paris . Spent a pleasant few days there, sleeping under the Arc de Triumph . Went to the Eiffel tower and told them tha tI left my bag at the top , and was told to go and get it , off I went to the top of the Eiffel tower . Went and sat at the bar and asked them "What happened to my beer, did you throw it away" "Sorry," She said and got me a replacement Wandering around Paris I went into an Estate agent to ask whether they needed ant newspapers delivered or anything , she look at me quizzically and asked me why I wanted to do that . I told her that I was trying to get back to London and had no money . She gave me ten Francs and wished me luck . Nice stay in Paris , but time to move on, walked to the Calais direction train station and located the Calais bound train , I couldnt find anywhere to avoid the ticket collectors , so I went and sat in the trains engine . Arrived at Calais , must have been about 2 AM and saw a ferry in the docks , "Wheres that going" I asked someone "Dover" Right, just needed to get on it . Wandered around the docks and saw some wasteland and there was a warning sign about not crossing because there were alarm laser beams which would be triggered if you tried to cross , A fox then ran through without triggering the alarm . Hmmmmm , got on my belly and crawled across the wasteland avoiding the laser beams and just walked straight onto the boat, with no passport or ticket checks . The ferry departed a few hours later and they had an all you can eat buffet on it , I was standing in the queue and we must have hit a big wave because the ferry rocked and everyone stumbled around and when I regained my composure , I was on the otherside of the paying place , The ferry was rocking all over the place , so I couldnt eat much . Arrived in Dover and walked through immigration and I just told the guy that I lost my passport , he just tutted and waved me through . Went and sat in the newspaper compartment of a London bound train , changed trains, got to Teddington and walked home.................Ive stil got those ten Francs........and the French ticket collector has still got my passport