Thread: 1st day back in Bangkok

So we (the mrs and I) finally arrived back in Thailand for a 3 month stint in Bangkok. We came from Australia via Bali and while in Bali couldn't resist purchasing a few bottles of Wine from Duty Free. We purchased one bottle each.

Upon arriving at Bangkok airport, we noticed that they too were having a promotion on New Zealand wine (my favourite). Since we had already purchased 1 bottle each in Bali, we were at our limit. "No problem" says the mrs, "I'm Thai, I'll carry the three bottles, they won't check me".

For the first time in my life, I thought I would use the "Thai-ness" thing to our advantage. We purchased another bottle and off we went. We put the two bottles purchased from Bali inside the mrs large suitcase, and she had the new bottle in the top part of her baggage trolley covered with her handbag and jacket.

Heading towards the customs check area, we watched as dozens of people were being waved straight through, and we joined the long line of fast moving travellers who were snaking their way past the customs arena undeterred towards freedom.

But, wouldn't you fucking believe it, out of ALL the people scrambling past the xray machine, the customs guy singles out US, fucking US!!!!

The mrs, being the hardened criminal that she is (she isn't), instantly turns to me with that deer in the headlights look that says "oh shit, were fucked!!!"

Not wanting to give away the game just yet, I mentally tell her to keep her cool and everything will be fine. The customs guy instructs each of us to put our two large bags through the xray machine, so far so good. I see an opening and realise he is not going to ask for my backpack nor for the mrs to remove her hand bag from the trolley (exposing the thrid bottle) and I make a move to get us past the xray machine, collect our large bags and get us the fuck oughta dodge.

But to my horror, our of the corner of my eye I catch the mrs about to lift up her handbag and offer it to the customs monkey, therefore exposing the incriminating third bottle of NZ's finest. A desperate "what the fuck are you doing" mumble from me gets her back in the game and we are ushered past the xray machine and out the door to freedom.

After surviving the pitfalls of smuggling contraband into a foreign country, I thought our troubles for this day would be over, I thought wrong.

After checking into our apartment, we ventured to Central Plaza on Rama 3 to organise a new sim card for my phone. The mrs had decided we would go with AIS.

Now if you've ever been to the AIS Store in Central Plaza Rama 3 (or any other AIS store in Thailand I am sure) you would know its a "take ticket and wait" system. No problem, ticket obtained, and the waiting we were doing. While waiting I had the opportunity to observe the "consultants" that would be assisting us with our purchase today. I don't think AIS could have employed a more brain-dead bunch of primates if they tried. Moving at a speedy pace was obviously not part of their job description and everything they were doing looked like it hurt their heads. I noticed one monkey in particular, who was struggling more than most to perform the tasks required. Wouldn't you fucking believe it, we got this guy.

The mrs informed our primate representative that I owned an Iphone 4 and required a sim card on a three month contract, and this must include internet access. Faily simple you would assume, well you assumed wrong.

They asked to see my work permit, the mrs informed them that I'm not working in Thailand. As we couldn't produce a work permit, we were then informed I couldn't purchase a sim card. The Mrs said, don't worry, just put the contract in her name, they still wouldn't give it to us becuase they said "but we know the farang will be using it". This went on an on and on.

They then said that my iphone was locked, this was actually true, but the procedure is to purchase the new sim card, insert said card into phone, sync with itunes and it will unlock (this was pre-organised with my carrier in Aust). Well pull down my pants and call me spanky, this completely threw the monkey's and they could not, no matter how much we explained, grasp this concept.

By this stage we had hit the 90 minute marker before finally they handed us our sim card. Wrong size, iphone 4 needs a micro sim. Sim card exchanged, documets filled out and signed by the mrs, my blood pressure returning to normal.

After 2 long hours we left the AIS store and headed home. We arrived back in our apartment, about 500m from Central Plaza, only to find that somewhere between our apartment and Central Plaza, the mrs had dropped the fucking sim card......

day 1 finished. Looking forward to tomorrow.