Thread: Euphemisms for Onanism

Shaking hot white coconuts from the veiny love tree

Originally Posted by NickA

Shaking hot white coconuts from the veiny love tree

League of Gentlemen if I 'm not mistaken.
one of my fave oinonisms.

Spanking the ugly welshman till he cries spunk

Spraying Gilos big tossed up balls all around the park

are we talking about the same thing here?...

Originally Posted by NickA

Euphymisms for Ononism

Definitions of onanism on the Web:
masturbation: manual stimulation of the genital organs (of yourself or another) for sexual pleasure

Noun1.onanism - manual stimulation of the genital organs (of yourself or another) for sexual pleasuremasturbation, self-abuse
autoeroticism, autoerotism - using you own body as a sexual object
frottage - masturbation by rubbing against another person (as in a crowd)
hand job, jacking off, jerking off, wank - slang terms for masturbation

Now, the word frottage has taken my fancy....

frot·tage (frô-täzh)n.1. The act of rubbing against the body of another person, as in a crowd, to attain sexual gratification.

Not something I have had the pleasure of doing before, but the next time I'm in a crowded place I might just try it.......

Mrs Nicka "Where are you going dear?"
Nicka "Oh, I'm just out to do a bit of frottaging in Tesco"
Mrs Nicka "Oh, well can you bring back some milk?"
Nicka "Sure, I can deliver about two pints"

Onan the Bar Hairyman

I'm sure my hairdresser is a frottager.

She seems to spend a lot of time frottaging against my elbows.

What's the mucus under one's foreskin called after frottaging in crowds too much......Frottage Cheese?

BBC NEWS | Health | Masturbation 'cuts cancer risk'

So, when caught tonking the todger by a young lady you've now got the perfect excuse......I'm just working our, keeping myself healthy

"A wank a day keeps the nob cancer away"

couldn't resist reading the thread, but i'm afraid that frottage is the noun, but the present participle is frotting, hence:

"i am just off for a good morning's frotting, my dear", if such is your address to your good lady.

bashing the bishop; twanging the mulligan; jerkin' the gherkin; one off the wrist; a jodrell (rhyming slang - jodrell bank); a j arthur (rank) - there's plenty.

the only ones relating to women aren't i feel, that pleasant: strumming (not too bad) and mixing the pudding (not nice).

turning japanese

so desu

Spraying ones bellly with sticky white love piss

W W Wank: Masturbation Headquarters

for the ladies....

Bashing the gash

Beating the Beaver

Getting mud for my turtle

Tuning the love-machine

Some German....

power pissen

flötensolo

Jürgen Würgen

bordstein bashing

das handy klingeln

Let's not forget the French euphemism -

Drawing a map of France