Your own death. How close have you been?

**Bung** · 22-11-2006, 08:45 AM

I was on a bus in Zambia with a friend, the only two white people on it, when we got pulled over by a road block. This was in 1998 and it was right in the thick of apartheid, the ANC were based in Zambia.

Everyone got searched and we got taken aside for questioning. It became apparent that they thought we were South Africans and one drunk guy kept coming up to us pointing his AK47 into our faces shouting we should be taken into the bush and shot.

Luckily the guy questioning us seemed sober and was obviously higher ranking. I just kept holding up my Aussie passport saying it was proof we weren't Sth Africans.

Now, I come from a Dutch family, my mate was 6' 4" blond and we both had beards so we definately looked Sth African. They were searching through our bags and found pots, pans and a map. This made them really suspicious and they kept asking why we needed that kind of thing to be tourists and how many days can we hike with that? There was a lot of ANC going overland into Sth Africa and blowing things up and a lot of Sth Africans were coming into Zambia and blowing thigs up at the time so it wasn't looking good. Using all of my persuasive diplomatic skills I was getting them to beleive me but then they found a compass. That was it, Why would we need a compass? The guy with the AK was overjoyed and started to herd us into the bush. The bus, which was still there (there was no way they were going to miss a couple of Farangs get shot) was a sea of black faces.

Luckily the one with the doubt stepped in and let us go. The two Aussie passports were proof enough and he didn't want to answer for two dead Aussies in the bush next to his road block. We were back on our way on a bus of silence. The looks of the locals told me what I already felt. We were very lucky.

The compass I had bought in London on a whim and never used. We rounded the first corner and I threw the thing that nearly killed us out of the window.

**Torbek** · 22-11-2006, 09:44 AM

Got the shit kicked out of me by three guys outside a pub in Brisbane. They mistook me for a bouncer who had thrown them out earlier.

As a parting gesture, one gave me a kick in the head that knocked out my teeth and ripped open the inside of my cheek...including cutting a small artery, that wasn't obvious.

Due to the amount of blood, I went to the local hospital. On hearing the injury was result of a fight, the nurse put me into an examation room to wait, low priority.

She came to check some time later and saw I was bleeding over the examination table. She gave me large steel kidney-shaped bowl to hold under my mouth. Maybe she thought I was spitting the blood up.

Anyway, the large bowl filled, so I just tipped it on the floor and started filling the second.

I knew I was bleeding to death. I had no energy, was very sleepy, yet extremely calm. I just watched with detached interest as the bowl filled. Fully conscious and aware but just unable to find the energy or inclination to do anything about it. I felt bloody good, actually! The pain from the other kicks and hits was gone...

Somehow I realised I had to do something or die, so I found all the energy I could and threw the bowl at the door of the examination room.

An ambulance officer who was delivering an emergency patient came in the room and immediately realised what was happening and I was attended to.

I will never forget just how easy it would have been to lay there and die.

If I ever do decide to top myself, that is certainly the way to go...

**Torbek** · 22-11-2006, 09:49 AM

Originally Posted by Bung

The looks of the locals told me what I already felt. We were very lucky.

Now THAT is a scary story!

What the hell were you doing there in the first place?

**Little Chuchok** · 22-11-2006, 01:40 PM

Originally Posted by Torbek

Due to the amount of blood, I went to the local hospital. On hearing the injury was result of a fight, the nurse put me into an examation room to wait, low priority.

She came to check some time later and saw I was bleeding over the examination table. She gave me large steel kidney-shaped bowl to hold under my mouth. Maybe she thought I was spitting the blood up.

fcuk me,what did you say to the nurse later?should have slapped her in the twat!

**William** · 22-11-2006, 01:54 PM

Originally Posted by Torbek

Originally Posted by Bung

The looks of the locals told me what I already felt. We were very lucky.

Now THAT is a scary story!

What the hell were you doing there in the first place?

I grew up THERE during the Rhodesian civil war

**man with no head** · 22-11-2006, 02:27 PM

Had several guns pulled on me during botched robberies, several auto crashes (not my fault), was almost beat to a pulp by a deranged kid in 5th grade while checking the mail at the local post offce, fallen and slid down the side of several steep rock piles while hiking in the past 3 years, been poisoned, was in intensive care after birth.

If I were a cat I'd likely have 2 lives left.

**slimboyfat** · 22-11-2006, 02:28 PM

i think my piles may be terminal.

**Bung** · 25-11-2006, 09:42 PM

I was in Goma, Zaire 1988 and decided to check out the mountain gorillas up in the "Mountains of the Moon" nearby.

We hitch hiked up as far as we could and bedded down in a church. That night we heard a commotion outside the church grounds and got to listen to someone being beaten to death, great.

The next day we hiked 30 klm's to a hut where we spent the night. It was another 15 klm's the next morning to get to the "Impeneterable Forrest" as it was known to start to look for the gorillas. We had two guides, a pygmy and a local guy, both armed with machete's and spears. It was looking like an interesting day.

Like the twats we were, we didn't take any water with us thinking we would just drink out of streams. We set off into the jungle and it lived up to it's name. It was nothing more than a tunnel through the growth where the gorillas walked, the silver back just ripping the vegetation out of the way as they went. I realised how overgrown this area was when my leg dropped through a hole and saw that we were in fact walking about a metre above the ground.

As you can imagine, it was tough going and we were soon overcome with thirst. I motioned to the guides that we needed water but they seemed to think we were ok. We got close to the gorillas but as they heard us coming, they just kept on moving away. We must have been at it for two or three hours and couldn't have got more than a kilometre into it when we decided to call it a day and head back as we were now really thirsty and never found any streams.

The guides sat down to eat and offered us food and not wanting to offend, accepted. I couldn't swallow any of it as I was so thirsty so we got out of the forrest, paid the guy's off and headed back to the village, 10 klm's away.

Needless to say we were knackered and really in need of water, so much I thought that I refused to piss. My mate suddenly slumped to the ground saying he couldn't go on and I knew then it was getting serious. I said that if I sat down, I wasn't sure that I would get up so I said I would press on, get water and if I didn't see him in 20 min I would come back for him.

Well, I got to a village and drank well. I started back for my mate when I saw him staggering into the village. We drank and rested and discovered that it was a market day in this particular village and we ended up buying an old 4 litre oil container of local maize beer. We finished that and by this time we were getting a bit of a group around us. we had some rice whiskey with them and were soon nicely pissed when we realised it was getting late and we still had 5 klm's to get back to our "base camp" hut.

We set off in much better form than when we arrived and got back just in time to sleep the sleep of dead men.

We still had a 30klm hike to get back to the main road where we could hitch hike so the next day was another slog and you guessed it, we didn't take any water!

We came across a church with a huge throng of people outside of it and as we approached they kind of parted looking at us in awe. I was wondering why they were like this when I realised it was good Friday and the two forlorn, staggering bearded wrecks probably looked like a second coming! Plus the fact that there wasn't any "Mazungu's" around then I guess.

We slumped onto the church steps and a priest appeared who upon hearing our story demanded we stay until the next day. An interesting night and big meal but no maize beer!

**qwerty** · 26-11-2006, 03:02 PM

About 28 years ago I was in a motorcycle accident. My old Honda had weak, worn out suspension and developed a nasty high speed wobble. I ended up hitting the ground at about 45 mph. Fortunately I was wearing a helmet, so I just lost some skin on my shoulder, hip and part of my right palm.

However, that doesn't count as coming close to death... When I had that accident I was riding with a couple of buddies whose bikes were much faster than mine. They had pulled over to let me catch up and saw a big pickup truck pass another car on a blind curve! If I hadn't had that accident I would have gone head on into that big pickup!

**Lady Hawk** · 26-11-2006, 03:33 PM

Got hit by a truck friday night,pretty drunk trying to cross the road.
The guy i was with said i looked like a rag doll being flung in the air.
Battered and bruised with a massive lump on my head but lucky i got away with it

**farmerfloyd** · 27-11-2006, 04:19 AM

I Drive a lot in USA. See all kinds of people doing stupid things, Lots of
older ladies driving and reading a book balanced in steering wheel, I honk and go on past,hoping to not see hera again, men on lap tops. etc.
But after 12 hours on freeway I swear I will never let anybody but me drive with me in car. Let scca racecar drivers drive my motorhome with while wife and I took a snooze. they crashed in 1 hour. 60 mph across river bed with motor floored trying to get back up to 60 on cruise control, seems they were changing drivers with out stopping. crise set on 60. Rideing in back seat wwith another couple, a train was coming at us from a 45 angle, driver never saw it I yelled as the train went right behind us, never missed us by more then 10 feet.
I wont ride with any body in car, am I going to lose it with Thialand Bus drivers. haha

**Gerbil** · 27-11-2006, 04:36 AM

^ Yep, you're going to 'enjoy' the experience.

**FozzieBear** · 27-11-2006, 12:22 PM

I have experienced two "Near Death" experiences in my life..both here in Thailand.
The first time I was on Samui with my eldest son (who is a very good swimmer)..he kept on at me to go swimmimg(I am not a good swimmer) I kept putting him off as I did not like the look of the waves and it was constantly raining. Anyway the last day I succombed..the waves were high and it was still raining, so after a few bevvies I summoned up the courage to go in with him. Within a few minutes we had somehow managed to drift out to sea, when I turned around in the water the shore looked 500 metres away..it probably was not..but it looked it...I could not touch the sand..then the first big wave hit me and sent me under..then as soon as i resurfaced another one got me and took me down...now I was starting to worry...a couple more of those and I felt I was surely going to drown...I started to shout to my Son, but the waves were so loud he could not hear me,,even though he was no more than 10 metres away, so waving my arms about and shouting seemed like a good idea..I was loosing my strength quickly now, just fighting for breath,,,luckily for me he spotted me and swam over and he could see I was in serious trouble, he started to swim pushing me in front of him towards the shore....this seemed to take an hour ..although again one looses all conception of time and it was probably only 10 minutes...eventually he got me bck,,,to get the biggest bollocking of his life..luckily for me that he was a strong swimmer and bigger than me.

The second time occured while I was in hospital in Chaing Mai. I had cracked three ribs over the Songkran festival, slipping in water outside the front of my house. The pain lasted weeks..eventually I was told there was an operation whereby I could have my nerves blocked while they heeled thus releiving the pain for a few weeks. I went ahead with it, what I did not anticipate was the surgeon puncturing my lung. This should have been a routine op, in and out in a few hours..after 6 hours he could see I was fighting for breath, but still sent me home. The next day I could hardly breathe and my Wife rushed me back where another Doctor quickly X-Rayed me and said I had sustained a punctured lung and that if i had left it any longer ...a matter of hours I would have died...I spent 3 days in there recovering....and they wanted to charge me for the pleasure...of nearly killing me, but I refused to pay...the big cheese was raving saying "who is gonna pay then?" I adamantly refused and eventually the Doctor who botched it up said he would pay...I should bloody well think so.

Anyway the moral of the story is Never swim in waters you are not comfortable with...after a few beers especially...and do not trust Thai Doctors!!!...esecially the ones at the "World Class" hospital in CM I will never set foot in there again

**MeMock** · 27-11-2006, 12:41 PM

after drinking alcohol you went swimming only to almost drown and then your son saves your life and you give HIM a bollocking???

**hunter** · 27-11-2006, 01:10 PM

Originally Posted by daveboy

I remember crossing the road in Amsterdam looking the wrong way thinking it was all clear then stepping out in front of a tram only a quick thinking local pulled me back I was very grateful.

so was the tramdriver

**MeMock** · 27-11-2006, 01:13 PM

My brother shot me (accident) but apart from that I have been fairly safe.

**risktohimself** · 27-11-2006, 05:27 PM

Originally Posted by Skulldigger

Last night, on the way to Chiang Mai from Mae Sai, I was the closest I've ever been to shuffling this mortal coil. My girlfriend had taken over the wheel after me driving the most of the way, and she was overtaking a minibus in an upward slope with many curves. It must have been around 8 PM, it was pitch black outside anyway.

I noticed she stayed unnaturally long in the opposite lane, but I was thinking she probably wanted to clear the minibus and not cut in too early in front of him.

Then, at the far end of the left bend we were driving into, I suddenly spotted the green and yellow headlights of a massive truck heading in our direction at full speed. I grunted a slight warning sound, but my girlfriend did not react. Then everything happened really quickly - The truck was now so close I started to scream at the top of my lungs. I regained sanity a fraction of a second later and reached for the wheel to get us back into the left lane, but before I got there, she had already caught on and got us out of the way of the truck, wooshing past us into the night.

This is strange 'cos I was on the same road that night, but travelling in the opposite direction, towards Mae Sai.
As I was on a downward slope on a curved stretch, some stupid bitch passing a minibus stayed too long in my lane. Her boyfriend in the passenger seat was cacking it. I concentrated on the road ahead and put my foot down - there's 400 points for flattening a vehicle in your lane - but she managed to jerk herself back into her own lane right at the last second.

Actually, in a vehicle like I was in, I don't think I was in any danger at all.

Get 'em next time.

**dirtydog** · 27-11-2006, 05:36 PM

Originally Posted by MeMock

My brother shot me accidently in the foot but apart from that I have been fairly safe.

I assume he was aiming for your head and you bravely tried to kick the gun out of his hand

**Bung** · 28-11-2006, 09:17 AM

^ i did the same thing in Holland, looking the wrong way, stepping out onto the road and luckily my Uncle pulled me back just in time.

I also drive here and in the US, different sides of the road and although it rarely happens I have taken off on the wrong side. I did it here the other day, only briefly but enough for my wife to wonder if i was really all there.

**MeMock** · 28-11-2006, 09:32 AM

Originally Posted by dirtydog

Originally Posted by MeMock

My brother shot me accidently in the foot but apart from that I have been fairly safe.

I assume he was aiming for your head and you bravely tried to kick the gun out of his hand

but of course

**Agent_Smith** · 28-11-2006, 09:05 PM

So, who here has died and not come back? Show of hands?

**barbaro** · 28-11-2006, 09:56 PM

Luckily, I haven't been close that I know of.

**RDN** · 30-11-2006, 11:17 PM

Originally Posted by surasak

Had several guns pulled on me during botched robberies...

You should plan better.

**Bruce** · 02-12-2006, 02:26 PM

Once did a 480 degree spin in a Mini and hit a bank backwards, luckily striking in between a power pole on one side and a big tree on the other, but Minis are tough, so I was alright.
I remember, as I was sinning around, thinking something like, "Dad's gonna kill me if I dent his car".

Thread: Your own death. How close have you been?

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