Losing Face

**brettandlek** · 26-04-2011, 03:37 PM

Originally Posted by forreachingme

There was this lady that lost face due to attack of a monkey some month ago...

...they just made the first full face transplant few weeks ago to some guy...

Yeh how bizzare was that.

**Cujo** · 26-04-2011, 03:39 PM

12Call. The best thing you can do to save face for yorself and all concerned is to pat the Thai on the head, ruffle his hair even.

**brettandlek** · 26-04-2011, 03:39 PM

Originally Posted by somtamslap

^ Or step over their dinner whilst they're grazing on the floor and lep rip a belter..never fails to impress that one..

My kids learnt this lesson one day when we went to our local temple. They were all eating on the floor and the kids were running around as they do and apparently ran through where they were eating. Oh Fick, them and i heard about it all the way home, went on and on. I have never tried it whilst letting one rip, i think i would probably be dead.

**brettandlek** · 26-04-2011, 03:45 PM

Originally Posted by Koojo

12Call. The best thing you can do to save face for yorself and all concerned is to pat the Thai on the head, ruffle his hair even.

Oh yes they hate the head shit dont they? Unless it is your own missus you can get away with it. They hate feet too and sometime i will take my socks off after work and threaten to throw them at here and in the end i do, she hates the hell out of that

**brettandlek** · 26-04-2011, 03:47 PM

Originally Posted by sabaii sabaii

Here's another they don't like, pointing at something on the bottom shelf in 7/11
with your foot

I open draws in the kitchen with my feet, she used to be horrified and still doesnt like it but i get away with it. If my kids do it though, different story, sucks to be them.

**The Muffinman** · 26-04-2011, 03:52 PM

Originally Posted by brettandlek

Oh yes they hate the head shit dont they?

Meh, my missus doesn't seem to mind me moving her head back and forth when she's sucking my knob.

**brettandlek** · 26-04-2011, 03:55 PM

Originally Posted by The Muffinman

Originally Posted by brettandlek

Oh yes they hate the head shit dont they?

Meh, my missus doesn't seem to mind me moving her head back and forth when she's sucking my knob.

ha ha ha

**DrAndy** · 26-04-2011, 06:35 PM

^ is that what yours says?

**Sailing into trouble** · 27-04-2011, 10:14 AM

Originally Posted by Sir Wilson

Originally Posted by Butterfly

evolved monkeys, that is the western white man, have learn to repress it

bullshit.

the number of fights in bars across England every week is testament to that

Ya you could bleed easy,in the old country. In Vancouver it is becomming common place, people look for a fight as part of a nights excitement. 2 stabbing deaths in the last 2 weeks.

**DrAndy** · 27-04-2011, 02:43 PM

wow, I thought I had lost face this morning, but my kid had knocked the mirror off the wall

**brettandlek** · 27-04-2011, 06:35 PM

Originally Posted by DrAndy

wow, I thought I had lost face this morning, but my kid had knocked the mirror off the wall

555555

**billy the kid** · 27-04-2011, 06:37 PM

or losing an image of yourself
made to look stupid
forever.
take it to the max and face-up and kill one who caused it
to feel better about oneself.

**Chairman Mao** · 27-04-2011, 07:18 PM

Part of what makes you think, thank God I wasn't born Thai.

Of course there are numerous other factors, but it is certainly up there.

Poor bastards.

**yortyiam** · 27-04-2011, 09:59 PM

I'd like to lose my face.. it's a lens wrecker!!! Many years back in the U.K a local guy who had been living in and out of Thailand brought some Thai male pals over to visit and one day he took them to the village local . They where admiring my Honda NS 125 motorbike; my absolute pride and joy at the time, and through this English guy asked if they could ride it . Naturally I said no as they had no license or insurance or crash helmets. As it was explained to them ; not legal etc, so no way, they got really wound up (that bright red Thai face thing) this fella said if I'd told them no on there own turf I may have ended up being shot. Easy Now..

**Chairman Mao** · 27-04-2011, 10:10 PM

^ Nonsense. I've had numerous monkeys ask if they can have a try off my bike, the laugh it immediately induces hasn't resulted in any weapons being drawn.

Unfortunately not much can be done to stop the simians needing to look with their hands whenever you park it somewhere.

Luckily paw prints are easy to wipe off.

**socal** · 28-04-2011, 05:01 AM

Originally Posted by Sir Wilson

Originally Posted by Butterfly

evolved monkeys, that is the western white man, have learn to repress it

bullshit.

the number of fights in bars across England every week is testament to that

Thats right.

Shootings and fights are a nightly occurrence in Vancouver BC. Guys are usually trying to impress women, have we ever evolved...

**socal** · 28-04-2011, 05:12 AM

Originally Posted by Sailing into trouble

Originally Posted by Sir Wilson

Originally Posted by Butterfly

evolved monkeys, that is the western white man, have learn to repress it

bullshit.

the number of fights in bars across England every week is testament to that

Ya you could bleed easy,in the old country. In Vancouver it is becomming common place, people look for a fight as part of a nights excitement. 2 stabbing deaths in the last 2 weeks.

I dunno man...These are not typically redneck fights for excitement , they are real fights. People are not afraid to kill.

The best thing I ever did was get the hell out of the lower mainland. Downtown Vancouver is decent but Surrey, Langley, Abbotsford ect are hell holes. Its pathetic.

Alberta is allot better.

**OhOh** · 28-04-2011, 04:52 PM

Originally Posted by socal

Alberta is allot better

A big round of applause for Millarville.

**brettandlek** · 28-04-2011, 06:42 PM

I dont know, but i am an old fucker and when i was younger we fought with hands, now it is knife, cleavers, whatever. gone are the good old days it appears.
Not that I was one for fighting, i prefer peace personally but other society dont.

**BigBaBoo** · 29-04-2011, 10:13 PM

From the responses I see here there appears to be quite a few people who either haven't been in Thailand very long, don't get very far from out of the bar and bargirl scene, or a combination of the two.
There are two parts to 'losing face" to Thais. One is to be proven wrong or embarresed. The other is to have to give some information that they know will cause unhappiness to the person they must give this information to.
It goes like this.
1. (first example) A farang (or anyone I guess) asks a direct question...such as, "Tomorrow is a Thai holiday. Will the XXXXX be open on the holiday?" Now the honest answer is, "I don't know". But that would admit you didn't know the correct answer to the direct question. Therefore you are shown as not knowing the answer, you "lose face".
So as a Thai you simply avoid, as best you can, having to answer the question. That way you can not be remembered later as having giving a "wrong" answer.
That way you can't "lose face".
2. (2nd example) Someone tells you something you know to be false, but you don't want to contradict him...because that would show him to be wrong...and that would mean you would "lose face" by questioning his belief.
For example, I once heard a person say that he would take the morning bus to XXXX from Bangkok and, since there was an afternoon bus also, he would go in the morning and return to Bangkok on the same day. I didn't think that was possible, because I was sure the trip would take 5 or 6 hours...and the bus back to Bangkok for that day would already have left before he could get to where he was going on the morning bus from Bangkok. The Thai I was with knew that to be the case also, but made no comment to say that it wasn't possible to do it that way. Later I asked my Thai friend why he hadn't said that what the person wanted to do wasn't possible. His answer,"Yes i knew it wasn't possible...but that person would have been disapointed by my (truthful) answer...and he would have felt dissapointed. I would have lost face".
That's two examples of what "losing face" is to a Thai. It may seem wierd to you as a falang...but is taught as the proper behaviour to many Thais from a young age...and it can be very important in Thailand.
If you think that behaviour is strange...then why do Brits "Que" politely...even when Queing may make them late?
Short answer...because it's proper social behavior according to their learned code of behaviour. "Face" and avoiding "losing face" is taught to Thais as "polite" in the same way that Queing quietly is taught to Brits as polite behaviour.
Think about it.

(But I think you guys already knew that, didn't you?

**CaptainNemo** · 02-05-2011, 02:12 AM

Originally Posted by BigBaBoo

From the responses I see here there appears to be quite a few people who either haven't been in Thailand very long, don't get very far from out of the bar and bargirl scene, or a combination of the two.
There are two parts to 'losing face" to Thais. One is to be proven wrong or embarresed. The other is to have to give some information that they know will cause unhappiness to the person they must give this information to.
It goes like this.

blah blah...

That's two examples of what "losing face" is to a Thai. It may seem wierd to you as a falang...but is taught as the proper behaviour to many Thais from a young age...and it can be very important in Thailand.
If you think that behaviour is strange...then why do Brits "Que" politely...even when Queing may make them late?
Short answer...because it's proper social behavior according to their learned code of behaviour. "Face" and avoiding "losing face" is taught to Thais as "polite" in the same way that Queing quietly is taught to Brits as polite behaviour.
Think about it.

Quite true... and exactly like trying to reason with a sulking 4-year-old. Just 'cause it's regularly regurgitated as "cultural advice", is no reason to respect it; just endure it when amongst 'em, it doesn't apply to all Thais, just the crap ones who can't adapt to superior cultures.

Queueing has an entirely practical purpose... to prevent chaos, and to allow fair access to goods and services without recourse to physical strength, wealth, familiarity, or any form of covert or overt aggression, as would happen in a ghetto (or banana republic). QED it's a basis of a civilised society, and indication of the presence of a functional law and order system, itself a prerequisite to economic development. It's also socially-cohesive and increases the participants' inclusive fitness within their locality, and increase the opportunities for social and knowledge exchange. Ultimately it's a contributing factor to having a developed country (in every sense).

**Moonraker** · 02-05-2011, 06:03 AM

I think we all know what 'face' is about, but it's still a big bunch of bollocks.

And if you are in a queue in the case of an emergency, you can still ask (and often be allowed) to push to the front.

Face is all about the seniors not having to take responsibility for their actions. I have seen many Thai's have a go at their peers, which contradicts the whole thing.

**Carrabow** · 02-05-2011, 07:12 AM

Face:

To not offend,

Is constructive criticism offensive?

How about the truth?

Some of the best learned lessons in life include a little embarrassment, even if it is in public (unruly child at Big C).

I once had a repair done to my bike made in BKK and when I was presented the bill, I noticed a computer on the counter. I asked the store owner if I could barrow it for a second to which I went to web site that sold OEM replacement parts and then to one that sold high end performance parts in the US. In a third window I pulled up the FED-EX web site and showed him the cost for international shipping by weight. Mind you no one was in the store at this time and this guy come unglued because he implied that I was accusing him of ripping me off.

Well the numbers did not lie, he was charging me about 3 times of what it would cost in the US with aftermarket parts. I paid his bill and never went back.

I learned my lesson, did he learn his? How did he lose face when he is a thief?

If he would have been fair, he would of had a customer for life.

**OhOh** · 03-05-2011, 09:11 PM

Originally Posted by Carrabow

I went to web site that sold OEM replacement parts and then to one that sold high end performance parts in the US. In a third window I pulled up the FED-EX web site and showed him the cost for international shipping by weight

Did you go to the manufacturers web site or check what the delivery time was for the non native spares?

Do these other sites include the manufacturers warranty. How long are you prepared to wait?

**Carrabow** · 04-05-2011, 07:42 AM

Originally Posted by OhOh

Originally Posted by Carrabow

I went to web site that sold OEM replacement parts and then to one that sold high end performance parts in the US. In a third window I pulled up the FED-EX web site and showed him the cost for international shipping by weight

Did you go to the manufacturers web site or check what the delivery time was for the non native spares?

Do these other sites include the manufacturers warranty. How long are you prepared to wait?

Yes I did, the piston and wrist pin are common parts from a Honda Uni-Cam engine and he used aftermarket parts. Any way, we were the only one in in his shop at the time. I paid his bill and went about my business, he will never get that satisfaction again. Like I said "I learned mine"

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