Thread: Poems for your kids

Originally Posted by 12Call

are we back to Nawtys daughters bottom again ?

for later...

Originally Posted by Looper

It's funny how fatherhood has become a kind of mystical experience

Originally Posted by Looper

Part time parenting and part time freedom.

You see my point.....no idea really until it has/or is happening to you.

Originally Posted by Nawty

Originally Posted by Looper

It's funny how fatherhood has become a kind of mystical experience

Originally Posted by Looper

Part time parenting and part time freedom.

You see my point.....no idea really until it has/or is happening to you.

I see your daughters bottom.

Originally Posted by 12Call

Originally Posted by Nawty

Originally Posted by Looper

It's funny how fatherhood has become a kind of mystical experience

Originally Posted by Looper

Part time parenting and part time freedom.

You see my point.....no idea really until it has/or is happening to you.

I see your daughters bottom.

Pedo loitering....

Originally Posted by Nawty

Originally Posted by 12Call

Originally Posted by Nawty

Originally Posted by Looper

It's funny how fatherhood has become a kind of mystical experience

Originally Posted by Looper

Part time parenting and part time freedom.

You see my point.....no idea really until it has/or is happening to you.

I see your daughters bottom.

Pedo loitering....

Just remove your daughters bottom as your avatar.

Originally Posted by 12Call

Originally Posted by Nawty

Originally Posted by 12Call

Originally Posted by Nawty

Originally Posted by Looper

It's funny how fatherhood has become a kind of mystical experience

Originally Posted by Looper

Part time parenting and part time freedom.

You see my point.....no idea really until it has/or is happening to you.

I see your daughters bottom.

Pedo loitering....

Just remove your daughters bottom as your avatar.

pedo loitering...more

Originally Posted by Nawty

Luckily I did because the day he was born, there was a complete and utter 180 degree turn and I went from really not liking to hold or touch babies, to changing my sons nappy before he was even 12 hours old. At 7 days I was packing all the necessities for a few hours up the street alone, just him and me, having coffee and reading the paper while he slept on my chest in his pouch at streetside coffee shops.

That kind of about turn and imagination does not exist until it actually happens I believe.....maybe just in my case, not sure.

I've experienced unconditional love and it's a great feeling, I suppose having your own child has the same feeling of elation, combined with concentrated doses of recognition, protectiveness, innocents and happy happy happy - it's the ultimate natural high, am I close?

At least you didn't say 'Witness the miracle of childbirth', that I don't get. I mean how is childbirth any more or less miraculous than taking a dump?

How is having a child more or less amazing than the lifespan of a butterfly, or the migration patterns of the blue whale?? It's just as biological as everything else is, but I suppose creation does bring a feeling of power with it, and if there's one thing that makes us humans happy it's power.

It is a good point about adopting, but this is very personal

Why is it personal?

Why is adopting or fostering more personal than having your own child?? Is there a taboo attached to it? Is it something not to be proud of because it's some kind of 'I couldn't have my own' display of weakness??

it is about the connection with your own flesh and blood and family and all the things you recognise in them from yourself

So another kid to add to the 6.8 billion, and one kid somewhere unloved and uncared for simply so we can have the luxury of saying 'Oh look, he's got your fathers eyes', cause that's what it boils down to, common selfishness... Something we're ALL guilty of, and I'm not claiming to be any different, I'm just looking at the subject from a more sober and less romantic angle.

Adoption is an excellent way.

Yeah nearly happened to me but i was fostered instead, and thank fuck I was. It would have done my head in growing up without all four of my parents. I have one of each left.

Moreso is the limiting of kids to fools that cannot look after them.

That's the majority.

enjoy children

This is my point, it seems that children are there just to be enjoyed. It's a bit of a gamble considering you have no idea how their lives will turn out, how they will end and how grateful they will be for being born later on. You could be the best dad in the world (which would make you feel good) but you can't save them from a divorce or a drug habit later on.

but it is about moderation

Totally, and the population is not moderated and the majority of children born on the planet will not be fortunate enough to have fathers that love them and care for them as much as the likes of you, Loy Toy and most TD members who are parents do.

then raising them on a dumpsite

I'd agree with that more as a metaphor for the modern world.

P.S. Hitler, Mugabe, Thaksin, Hindley, all the worst people that have ever lived have been babies and children at some point. Kids are nothing more than little adults, some are nice and some are not, but (in this day and age) they don't serve any purpose other than making us feel gooey and treating our own parents to a Russian doll style generation gift, a pat on the back, a tradition - and that's all there is to it.

hello scampy!!!

Gidday Nedders!

Originally Posted by 12Call

are we back to Nawtys daughters bottom again ?

Originally Posted by Nawty

Why does a childrens poetry corner have to sink to such lows.

Worth repeating.

Back on topic...I can do hour long renditions of Old McDonald..getting the kids to choose who I should impersonate next..animals aren't the name of the game,,it's the people down here..and we have a fucking good laugh...

Originally Posted by Nawty

It works both ways....kids have a great life if they are taken care of properly and we as parents have a great life taking care of them and yes...selfishly watching them grow and have a hoot of a time in life.

My son is a bit of a joker, he is always laughing. At his parent/teacher meeting last week, his teacher said he is still fooling around a lot and making people laugh and very boisterous and then he said with a smirk ....'and some of the stuff he does it actually quite funny'.......2 days ago, we were standing in front of the ice cream machine at KFC....there was the missus, my 2 kids and adoptee, then there was a girl in front of them, the cashier and a lady and her son behind us. My missus said to my son, who was chomping at the bit to get to the ice creams.....ladies first, meaning the girl in front, then my 5yo daughter. He let out...'ladies first'...'ok i want to be a lady then'.....in a girly voice while flicking his hair.

This was all in Thai and made everyone surrounding him burst out laughing.....this 8yo boy might not grow up to save the world, but he might make a lot of people laugh and feel good every day.

That all sounds appealing, even reminds me of my own childhood - and I agree with your concept about the status quo and doing your bit to keep the population of good human beings afloat.

50 years ago I'd be smoking a pipe and reading a story to three or four of my own, I just haven't fancied it since witnessing the effect of capitalism, the breakdown of a society that has convinced itself it's moving forward just because we now have iphones and mosques in airports and female pop stars singing "I kissed a girl and I liked it" (for impressionable youngsters old enough to download) and we seem to be missing something, we're not going forward at all. We can be in denial to our hearts content, but the proof is in nature - and (as Jeff Goldblum states in Jurassic Park) 'Life finds away' (regardless of technology and interfering with DNA etc..) - so put very simply, fatherhood has less appeal in the current climate (which shows no signs of improvement whatsoever) and it's a job i'd be very good at in many ways yet i'd have to be forced into it by a faulty pill or lucky sperm.

I would like to blame it on a breakdown in a society which has lost its way and an analysis of the state of pop-culture and technology trends resulting in a pessimistic prognosis for the planet but in my case the delay is mainly fear of commitment and fear of extending my sentence in the workforce for an extra 10 years to finance the project.

Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp

'Life finds away'

'Life finds a way' i think.

But if left for life, or this planet to find its natural way and balance, then as before it takes tens of thousands of years to adapt to changes.

The rate we are changing things in the last 100 years, the planet cannot naturaly adapt in such a short period. Combine that with the possible effects of us screwing with the planets natural climate control warning systems and things could go pear shaped relatively quickly.....we need to assist and adjust things to help out a little.

Helps in your arguement to not have kids for sure.....but I have a plan and I hope my kids and many others are part of it...actively.

Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp

and it's a job i'd be very good at in many ways yet i'd have to be forced into it by a faulty pill or lucky sperm.

It happens.....you might not know until you know.

As Looper said....its a fact of life and just get on with it....it comes naturally for most......there is always the exception unfortunately.

THE TALE OF CUSTARD THE DRAGON

By Ogden Nash

Belinda lived in a little white house,
With a little black kitten and a little gray mouse,
And a little yellow dog and a little red wagon,
And a realio, trulio, little pet dragon.

Now the name of the little black kitten was Ink,
And the little gray mouse, she called her Blink,
And the little yellow dog was sharp as Mustard,
But the dragon was a coward, and she called him Custard.

Custard the dragon had big sharp teeth,
And spikes on top of him and scales underneath,
Mouth like a fireplace, chimney for a nose,
And realio, trulio, daggers on his toes.

Belinda was as brave as a barrel full of bears,
And Ink and Blink chased lions down the stairs,
Mustard was as brave as a tiger in a rage,
But Custard cried for a nice safe cage.

Belinda tickled him, she tickled him unmerciful,
Ink, Blink and Mustard, they rudely called him Percival,
They all sat laughing in the little red wagon
At the realio, trulio, cowardly dragon.

Belinda giggled till she shook the house,
And Blink said Week!, which is giggling for a mouse,
Ink and Mustard rudely asked his age,
When Custard cried for a nice safe cage.

Suddenly, suddenly they heard a nasty sound,
And Mustard growled, and they all looked around.
Meowch! cried Ink, and Ooh! cried Belinda,
For there was a pirate, climbing in the winda.

Pistol in his left hand, pistol in his right,
And he held in his teeth a cutlass bright,
His beard was black, one leg was wood;
It was clear that the pirate meant no good.

Belinda paled, and she cried, Help! Help!
But Mustard fled with a terrified yelp,
Ink trickled down to the bottom of the household,
And little mouse Blink strategically mouseholed.

But up jumped Custard, snorting like an engine,
Clashed his tail like irons in a dungeon,
With a clatter and a clank and a jangling squirm
He went at the pirate like a robin at a worm.

The pirate gaped at Belinda's dragon,
And gulped some grog from his pocket flagon,
He fired two bullets but they didn't hit,
And Custard gobbled him, every bit.

Belinda embraced him, Mustard licked him,
No one mourned for his pirate victim
Ink and Blink in glee did gyrate
Around the dragon that ate the pyrate.

Belinda still lives in her little white house,
With her little black kitten and her little gray mouse,
And her little yellow dog and her little red wagon,
And her realio, trulio, little pet dragon.
Belinda is as brave as a barrel full of bears,
And Ink and Blink chase lions down the stairs,
Mustard is as brave as a tiger in a rage,
But Custard keeps crying for a nice safe cage.

There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool,
That's noted for fresh air and fun,
And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom
Went there with young Albert, their son.

A grand little lad was young Albert,
All dressed in his best; quite a swell
With a stick with an 'orse's 'ead 'andle,
The finest that Woolworth's could sell.

They didn't think much to the Ocean:
The waves, they were fiddlin' and small,
There was no wrecks and nobody drownded,
Fact, nothing to laugh at at all.

So, seeking for further amusement,
They paid and went into the Zoo,
Where they'd Lions and Tigers and Camels,
And old ale and sandwiches too.

There were one great big Lion called Wallace;
His nose were all covered with scars —
He lay in a somnolent posture,
With the side of his face on the bars.

Now Albert had heard about Lions,
How they was ferocious and wild —
To see Wallace lying so peaceful,
Well, it didn't seem right to the child.

So straightway the brave little feller,
Not showing a morsel of fear,
Took his stick with its 'orse's 'ead 'andle
And pushed it in Wallace's ear.

You could see that the Lion didn't like it,
For giving a kind of a roll,
He pulled Albert inside the cage with 'im,
And swallowed the little lad 'ole.

Then Pa, who had seen the occurrence,
And didn't know what to do next,
Said 'Mother! Yon Lion's 'et Albert',
And Mother said 'Well, I am vexed!'

Then Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom —
Quite rightly, when all's said and done —
Complained to the Animal Keeper,
That the Lion had eaten their son.

The keeper was quite nice about it;
He said 'What a nasty mishap.
Are you sure that it's your boy he's eaten?'
Pa said "Am I sure? There's his cap!'

The manager had to be sent for.
He came and he said 'What's to do?'
Pa said 'Yon Lion's 'et Albert,
'And 'im in his Sunday clothes, too.'

Then Mother said, 'Right's right, young feller;
I think it's a shame and a sin,
For a lion to go and eat Albert,
And after we've paid to come in.'

The manager wanted no trouble,
He took out his purse right away,
Saying 'How much to settle the matter?'
And Pa said "What do you usually pay?'

But Mother had turned a bit awkward
When she thought where her Albert had gone.
She said 'No! someone's got to be summonsed' —
So that was decided upon.

Then off they went to the P'lice Station,
In front of the Magistrate chap;
They told 'im what happened to Albert,
And proved it by showing his cap.

The Magistrate gave his opinion
That no one was really to blame
And he said that he hoped the Ramsbottoms
Would have further sons to their name.

At that Mother got proper blazing,
'And thank you, sir, kindly,' said she.
'What waste all our lives raising children
To feed ruddy Lions? Not me!'

Originally Posted by Nawty

'Life finds a way' i think.

That's the one.

Originally Posted by Looper

I would like to blame it on a breakdown in a society which has lost its way and an analysis of the state of pop-culture and technology trends resulting in a pessimistic prognosis for the planet but in my case the delay is mainly fear of commitment and fear of extending my sentence in the workforce for an extra 10 years to finance the project.

Excellent post.

I think the debate between Nawty and Scampy is a bit poetical in it's self.

Well done chaps.

Now, any more poetry to read to the kids.

I taught my son.....'here I sit broken hearted' the other day.

A couple of short poems by Spike Milligan:

It is every little girl's dream to be
The fairy on a Christmas tree.
A wand in her hand, a smile on her face.
And a tree in a most peculiar place.



On the Ning Nang Nong
Where the Cows go Bong!
And the Monkeys all say Boo!
There's a Nong Nang Ning
Where the trees go Ping!
And the tea pots Jibber Jabber Joo.
On the Nong Ning Nang
All the mice go Clang!
And you just can't catch 'em when they do!

A couple from the criminally underrated 'Uncle Fegg' (aka Terry Jones & Michael Palin)

A Lullaby
(a lullaby)

Uncle Fegg is far away
Doing things to sheep.
He'll come and do something to you,
If you don't GO TO SLEEP!

Another Lullaby
(a lullaby)

Hush, little baby,
There's nothing to fear,
I'm just a child-slaughterer
Tanked up with beer.

I'm drugged to the eyeballs,
I get dizzy spells.
I'm dressed in pyjamas,
And my breath really smells.

But you're safe, little baby,
From razors and burns,
That's as long as I don't get
One of my "turns".


TEA WITH UNCLE FEGG

Uncle Fegg, Oh Uncle Fegg,
What are you doing there?
A chicken in your trousers,
And porridge in your hair?

......

Mary Had A Little Lamb
Its Fleece Was Black As Charcoal
Every Time It Waged Its Tail
You Could See Its Little

Eyes Roll