Thread: Experience with other Thais in the West

Thank you for defending my dignity and honour Sir.

To return to the thread, and thank you for reading this as it is one of my first here. I have now made 2 trips and never even spoke with a bar girl. Not interested. I want to meet a really great Thai wife, perhaps an oxymoron, perhaps not. A year ago I visited the ThaiLoveLinks woman I had emailed and chatted with for >1yr. I decided not to marry her, with some loss of face by her for which I am saddened. This year, following the advice of my friend Mr Kiko I again subscribed but this time about 2-3 months before my trip.I met a woman, age 46 - I am 61 - who I spent every day and night with and went to Bali for 16 days as well. She professes the same same as me .. true love, I will be a good wife, ... college educated, no close family, no children, a practicing (dharma) Buddhist, friends are nice, she is sophisticated and unpretentious. I tell her our life will be simple, not fancy, and how we will live (in Manhattan but simply). She seems as excited by living in NYC as in me. Is she just parroting back to me what I want to hear? Or is she sincere and will give her one heart fully to me forever as she says she already has unless I change my mind.
I am a long time Stickman reader so I am aware of the complexities and utter mystery of knowing a Thai woman's mind thoughts or feelings (or, maybe any woman's). There is a tiny bit of radar that tells me be cautious as I rush headlong into a 129F fiance visa. That allows 3 months to marry. Once here I know there will be adjustments. She has lived overseas on extended travels including England, South Africa and India, so I think if she just wanted a visa, she could get that from anyone who might be a tad bit more affluent (I am not). To me she seems utterly perfect, with flaws of course, but .. what am I missing here? And thank you. I am Caucasian thrice married and divorced, kids all grown doing great no financial payments other than paying off AmEx every month, and **think** I can support the two of us in a simple lifestyle. Also I might note that she is quite beautiful naturally, a true 46 looking ageless.

Originally Posted by twoheads2000

To return to the thread,

Please break in to smaller paragraphs....makes for easier reading

Originally Posted by sabang

there was a Wat and a Thai community place in Salisbury, about 30km away. She couldn't be arsed, never expressed any interest.

Similar to me. I live in Chanthaburi. The nearest congregation of fellow Farangs is in Pattaya .. 2 hours drive away. I couldn't be arsed going to see them either.

I do go to Patters sometimes .. but not to meet Farangs.

Originally Posted by sccrhound

Please break in to smaller paragraphs....makes for easier reading

What's this place? .. Ajarn.com ?

Originally Posted by sabang

Before that I had a very pleasant and protracted affair with a lady from Udon Thani, but no farmgirl. Generals daughter. We met in Sydney in 1991, and were in bed four hours later.

Four hours!? .. That must be a busy brothel!

Originally Posted by twoheads2000

a true 46 looking ageless.

Wait till she's 50. Thais don't age slowly. It happens overnight! Bang! Beauty one day .. Old hag the next!

Originally Posted by ota

My wife says it's their Chinese side that gets crazy jealous or angry for various reasons. I appreciate my wife's loyalty but not the part that competes with the other Thai women.

We've lost some Thai friends because of this. When my wife first arrived, I had a beat up car with 150K miles and lived in a small studio apartment in a ghetto area. At the time, we didn't care because it was close to the local university and we could save some cash instead of wasting it on status symbols while she got acclimated. A lot of the Thai women were happy to look down on us then. We didn't care as much, because we knew where we would be in two or three years saving cash for a downpayment and getting her English up to speed. Fast forward two years, economy crashes and cash is king. With the money we saved, we bought a new car at invoice and a nice three bedroom, two and half bath house for 30K less than the market peak. A lot of our Thai "friends" stopped calling my wife because they couldn't stand she actually moved ahead of them. We found out who her real friends were pretty quickly.

Originally Posted by twoheads2000

who I spent every day and night with and went to Bali for 16 days as well.She professes the same same as me .. true love, I will be a good wife

Just being "Devil's advocate" here.

I have .. on occasions told women I "love them" to get what I want.

Is there a possibility we have the same situation on her side here?

Originally Posted by twoheads2000

To return to the thread, and thank you for reading this as it is one of my first here. I have now made 2 trips and never even spoke with a bar girl. Not interested. I want to meet a really great Thai wife, perhaps an oxymoron, perhaps not. A year ago I visited the ThaiLoveLinks woman I had emailed and chatted with for >1yr. I decided not to marry her, with some loss of face by her for which I am saddened. This year, following the advice of my friend Mr Kiko I again subscribed but this time about 2-3 months before my trip.I met a woman, age 46 - I am 61 - who I spent every day and night with and went to Bali for 16 days as well. She professes the same same as me .. true love, I will be a good wife, ... college educated, no close family, no children, a practicing (dharma) Buddhist, friends are nice, she is sophisticated and unpretentious. I tell her our life will be simple, not fancy, and how we will live (in Manhattan but simply). She seems as excited by living in NYC as in me. Is she just parroting back to me what I want to hear? Or is she sincere and will give her one heart fully to me forever as she says she already has unless I change my mind.
I am a long time Stickman reader so I am aware of the complexities and utter mystery of knowing a Thai woman's mind thoughts or feelings (or, maybe any woman's). There is a tiny bit of radar that tells me be cautious as I rush headlong into a 129F fiance visa. That allows 3 months to marry. Once here I know there will be adjustments. She has lived overseas on extended travels including England, South Africa and India, so I think if she just wanted a visa, she could get that from anyone who might be a tad bit more affluent (I am not). To me she seems utterly perfect, with flaws of course, but .. what am I missing here? And thank you. I am Caucasian thrice married and divorced, kids all grown doing great no financial payments other than paying off AmEx every month, and **think** I can support the two of us in a simple lifestyle. Also I might note that she is quite beautiful naturally, a true 46 looking ageless.

Unless you actually live with the woman (or any woman for that matter) there's no way of telling how it will be.

It took me 7 years of living here before I met 'the one' and I'm not old enough to have to persuade my partner with diamond & pearls.

Good luck and don't give too much too soon (financially speaking, not sexually).

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

and I'm not old enough to have to persuade my partner with diamond & pearls.

Say what ?????

Originally Posted by 12Call

What were you expecting?

At least a suck.

Originally Posted by twoheads2000
This year, following the advice of my friend Mr Kiko I again subscribed but this time about 2-3 months before my trip.I met a woman, age 46 - I am 61 - who I spent every day and night with and went to Bali for 16 days as well. She professes the same same as me .. true love, I will be a good wife, ...

How fluent is her English? How did you communicate with her? Did you have to resort to hand gestures? Is her English limited to a few canned sentences?

Her English is above average. We can discuss Buddhist texts. There is very little problem.

Not to be rude, just asking because her saying she loves in English after 16 days may mean nothing to her. It is flattering to have someone say that to you, but the excitement of a 16 day vacation is not the same feeling you'll have when she is living in Manhattan with you. What is she really looking for in marriage?

Yes I agree. I insist we will have a simple life .. true. And travel to Thailand no more than once per year to see friends. there may be some face advantage and she knows I will introduce her to my Thai friend Sri (married a NYC guy). I feel the same also, one cannot truly "love" anyone after 16 days (really 21 in all, but still, even with a month of email and chat, I agree). She lives the 5 principles of Buddha, really has no family to speak of who she sees regularly, no kids, tried another farang but decided he was not for her after two years and traveled a lot outside of Thailand during that time.

You really need to question her more to understand what is motivating her to leave her country and if she truely understands what life is like here. Aside from being a nice looking women who seems kind and caring, what else attracts you to her?

I think she wants something more than she has now and what is in her future in BKK. She has an OK job, was more affluent earlier and had a Rolex and BMW in Kon Kaen with a restaurant, some shops, and some land. She lost it and has lived in BKK for several years working at a manager level for high end restaurant chain head of human resources. I think she is a complete package with a good heart. But ..

Quote:
She seems as excited by living in NYC as in me. Is she just parroting back to me what I want to hear? Or is she sincere and will give her one heart fully to me forever as she says she already has unless I change my mind.
Big red flag here. Is she just thinking about how much face she gains by telling everyone she is living in New York?
There is no "everyone", just about 6 friends scattered around, incl one happy with a NZ man and living there. Yes I think living in NYC will be a big plus for her. I accept.

Quote:
I am a long time Stickman reader so I am aware of the complexities and utter mystery of knowing a Thai woman's mind thoughts or feelings (or, maybe any woman's).

Your buddy stickman uses these websites to "stick" his dick into random Thai girls. He wouldn't use these sites to look for a long term relationship. Am not too familiar with this website, but something to keep in mind.

Please if you do not know what you are talking about, do not assume filth where there is an enlightened contributor to the larger world, aka Stickman (who is happily married).

And I appreciate any "red flags" or cautions on my questions and quest.

Umm.. no diamonds, no pearls .. nada. So far one lovely embroidered white silk dress from Bali, one sarong, one bag, one pair of sandals, one Balinese batik dress ... total US $300 and only because I wanted to, she has never asked for anything.

Originally Posted by twoheads2000

We can discuss Buddhist texts.

I was a bit vague about you before .. but now all is clear.

Originally Posted by twoheads2000

Originally Posted by twoheads2000
This year, following the advice of my friend Mr Kiko I again subscribed but this time about 2-3 months before my trip.I met a woman, age 46 - I am 61 - who I spent every day and night with and went to Bali for 16 days as well. She professes the same same as me .. true love, I will be a good wife, ...

How fluent is her English? How did you communicate with her? Did you have to resort to hand gestures? Is her English limited to a few canned sentences?

Her English is above average. We can discuss Buddhist texts. There is very little problem.

Not to be rude, just asking because her saying she loves in English after 16 days may mean nothing to her. It is flattering to have someone say that to you, but the excitement of a 16 day vacation is not the same feeling you'll have when she is living in Manhattan with you. What is she really looking for in marriage?

Yes I agree. I insist we will have a simple life .. true. And travel to Thailand no more than once per year to see friends. there may be some face advantage and she knows I will introduce her to my Thai friend Sri (married a NYC guy). I feel the same also, one cannot truly "love" anyone after 16 days (really 21 in all, but still, even with a month of email and chat, I agree). She lives the 5 principles of Buddha, really has no family to speak of who she sees regularly, no kids, tried another farang but decided he was not for her after two years and traveled a lot outside of Thailand during that time.

You really need to question her more to understand what is motivating her to leave her country and if she truely understands what life is like here. Aside from being a nice looking women who seems kind and caring, what else attracts you to her?

I think she wants something more than she has now and what is in her future in BKK. She has an OK job, was more affluent earlier and had a Rolex and BMW in Kon Kaen with a restaurant, some shops, and some land. She lost it and has lived in BKK for several years working at a manager level for high end restaurant chain head of human resources. I think she is a complete package with a good heart. But ..

Quote:
She seems as excited by living in NYC as in me. Is she just parroting back to me what I want to hear? Or is she sincere and will give her one heart fully to me forever as she says she already has unless I change my mind.
Big red flag here. Is she just thinking about how much face she gains by telling everyone she is living in New York?
There is no "everyone", just about 6 friends scattered around, incl one happy with a NZ man and living there. Yes I think living in NYC will be a big plus for her. I accept.

Quote:
I am a long time Stickman reader so I am aware of the complexities and utter mystery of knowing a Thai woman's mind thoughts or feelings (or, maybe any woman's).

Your buddy stickman uses these websites to "stick" his dick into random Thai girls. He wouldn't use these sites to look for a long term relationship. Am not too familiar with this website, but something to keep in mind.

Please if you do not know what you are talking about, do not assume filth where there is an enlightened contributor to the larger world, aka Stickman (who is happily married).

And I appreciate any "red flags" or cautions on my questions and quest.

blue on blue, what a fucking genius.

Originally Posted by Dug

blue on blue, what a fucking genius.

So .. obviously .. two heads are NOT better than one!

Your buddy stickman uses these websites to "stick" his dick into random Thai girls. He wouldn't use these sites to look for a long term relationship. Am not too familiar with this website, but something to keep in mind.

Please if you do not know what you are talking about, do not assume filth where there is an enlightened contributor to the larger world, aka Stickman (who is happily married).

And I appreciate any "red flags" or cautions on my questions and quest.

From his own website:
"There are many Western guys in Thailand who gets HEAPS of sex (way more than your 50 different girls in a year friend) with non-bargirls and don't pay a cent! When I was active chasing regular Thai women online, I must have slept with more than 50 in a year - and I am no model! And not one of these pretty Thai women asked for a single baht! And sorry to disappoint you, I doubt any would have been a mere "6", although I am not usually vulgar enough to rank women like that but merely doing it so you can relate."

That is just a side note. But seriously, good luck with the relationship. Again, I would advise waiting two months before having the civil ceremony for the K-1 visa. If everything is going well, you won't have much to worry about. But if you she acts like a nut only two months into the relationship, you can bail without too many consequences.

Originally Posted by keekwai

All this reminds of Thai forums when they started years ago.

We've come full circle .. covered every possible situation in Thailand already .. and have returned (passing go and collecting $200) back to "How do I interact with/fuck/marry/date/etc/etc/etc a Thai woman?

Another person obsessed with the expat versus tourist pissing contest. Just started the thread to talk about people I never would interact with if I didn't have a Thai wife.

Good to see socially inept guys still popping up now and then. Makes me feel less useless!

I'll refrain from taking the Smeg route and just say I am content with life and have good relations with my family and close friends and leave it at that. I hope that didn't deflate your internet derived ego boost.

^ I wasn't referring to you .. anyway .. no pissing contest intended .. just an objective observation. Read back a few posts ..

Originally Posted by njdesi

Your buddy stickman uses these websites to "stick" his dick into random Thai girls. He wouldn't use these sites to look for a long term relationship. Am not too familiar with this website, but something to keep in mind.

Please if you do not know what you are talking about, do not assume filth where there is an enlightened contributor to the larger world, aka Stickman (who is happily married).

And I appreciate any "red flags" or cautions on my questions and quest.

From his own website:
"There are many Western guys in Thailand who gets HEAPS of sex (way more than your 50 different girls in a year friend) with non-bargirls and don't pay a cent! When I was active chasing regular Thai women online, I must have slept with more than 50 in a year - and I am no model! And not one of these pretty Thai women asked for a single baht! And sorry to disappoint you, I doubt any would have been a mere "6", although I am not usually vulgar enough to rank women like that but merely doing it so you can relate."

Dealing with more than 50 women a year, why would anyone want to do that? Busy with a new one every weekend, when is the time t5o have a beer and relax?

I suggest that if you're going to get a Thai girl, then get one that is open minded not necessary educated. You should tell her a lot about your country, your people and how they live if you want to bring her over to your country. Get her to get a job or go to school so she wont feel homesick, and to keep your phone bill low. It's never a good idea to find her Thai friends as soon as she entered your country, wait until she had learnt and understood a good deal of your culture, because cultural clash is a breakdown of a couple from two different cultures, it could turn very nasty in the end and I've seen many.