Thread: Dogs, dogs - Bladdy Dogs

Could any esteemed (or other) memeber help me with my neighbours dogs?
Despite polite requests for some sort of control, they smile and do nothing.
My personal option would be for somebody to mow down the owners in a hail of bullets from an automatic weapon, then leave their bodies to be consumed by the animals
Is there a "softer" option?
Thet really are doing my head in, really dont wont to loose it with them!!!!

You made the biggest mistake already by regisitering your dislike of them.
If you smiled nicely and made friends with the animals and then one night lobbed a bunch of meat laced with 1080 poison over the wall you could have been living in peace by now.

OC's got it right. You need to disemble now. The next time you see the dogs just smile and say 'Mia pen rai!' Repeat this for six months and THEN kill them.

I realised this mistake, that's why I need an option???
The dogs are ok, the owners are a piece of siht and just dont take care.
Is biological warfare available on the open market?

MrsQ once recommended a carrier bag full of anti-freeze. I've yet to work out why a dog would drink that. I suppose you could mix some lovely fresh blood with it.

Just "googled" dogs antifreeze, appears to be very true

Where I used to live the neighbour had made a little door in the fence between our properties. He would push his chidkens thru the door to come and feed in my garden.
I thanked him for allowing his chickens to shit all over my garden as it was good for the plants.

I went away for the weekend but before I left I covered the rough grass area with paraquat.
When I returned there was loads and loads of chicken legs poking up out of the grass. I never saw another chicken after that.

Dogs like the sweet taste of anti-freeze.

If you feel bad about it you have maybe 10 hours to feed the dog lots of ethanol to counter act the anti-freeze.

one beneficial side effect of using antifreeze is that the dog does not develop rigor mortis, and can thus be thrown into the klong much easier

Originally Posted by mrsquirrel

If you feel bad about it you have maybe 10 hours to feed the dog lots of ethanol to counter act the anti-freeze.

Your dogs don't look well, why don't we give them some ethanol! do you think they would be suspicious.

Originally Posted by mrsquirrel

Dogs like the sweet taste of anti-freeze.

Which means if i throw some bread dipped in this stuff and then they eat it, "gluttony" is to blame and not me.

The 7 deadly sins strike again

Do I take it from some of these posts that Thais would not bear a grudge against someone who killed their dog?

Originally Posted by Airportwo

Just "googled" dogs antifreeze, appears to be very true

A bottle of austrian wine labeled 'dog tonic' in Thai should do the trick then. Give it as a gift

Originally Posted by NickA

Do I take it from some of these posts that Thais would not bear a grudge against someone who killed their dog?

The girl who lives down the road from me got a lovely little puppy but unfortunately it did bark a lot.
Two weeks later it was dead. Poisoned.
No-one knows who did it.
Who you gonna bear a grudge against ?

I came close to "getting rid of" my next door neighbours cats. She - note "she" - had about 3 or 4 of them and they attracted all the neighbourhood cats as well. When we first moved into the new place, the garden smelled like a cat's lavatory, and we saw these cats wandering around the garden for weeks. I started keeping a supply of large stones on the veranda as ammo for chucking at them.

Just as I was about to investigate what I could leave out for them to eat, the g/f asks the owner of my house about the cats and she must've said something that clued him in as to what I was thinking of doing because he said something like "they are very expensive cats". So I gave her a d@mn good telling off and told her not to tell anyone anything about anything any more.

But the owner also said that they were moving out soon - building their own house somewhere. And sure enough they went after about two months and now the garden is smelling good.

If the new neighbours have cats, I'll be sure to warn the g/f to shut the f*ck up about them.

Originally Posted by Airportwo

I realised this mistake, that's why I need an option???
The dogs are ok, the owners are a piece of siht and just dont take care.
Is biological warfare available on the open market?

Dogs rarely are the plobrem, it's usually the way they've been trained, but unfortunately this mitigation is often used by miscreants to blame their upbringing, society or the budgie next door.

I agree with whoever said you should make friends with them and their guardians before lobbing those chops over the fence.

Can't believe I said that, now into depression, hope it doesn't leave me ending it all!

Ok, got my Bible on screen...

Instead of poison, how about sending over some laxative instead, or kidnap the mutts and take them to a fancy grooming shop for the works. Give them your neighbour's details and ask them to call you when it's done.

Otoh you could buy one of those silent dog whistles, set your alarm for 3 a.m. when the neighbourhood's doggie owners are asleep. Now go out and toot quietly away on your new whistle. Very soon, subject to the usual variables, all the mutts within hearing distance will come to life; lights will come on all over the place as owners try frantically to settle them down or call the police to report prowlers. Many interesting variations.

A friend once took this a step further. After suffering his neighbour's uncaring attitude in allowing the dog out at night, at which time it would dump on his pride 'n joy lawn over a period of several weeks, he decided enough is enough. His solution was simple, cheap, painless and effective. Late one evening he fed the jerk's dog some goodies laced with laxative. Then, using a single-tone silent dog whistle, he blew long, slow, steady blasts to set it barking madly. The owner eventually came out to yell at his dog, and this is when he stopped blowing. When the misfit returned indoors they blew again....keeping up this pattern until the owner had little choice but to allow the dog into the house. The rest is easy to figure out.

Getting into this, don't stop me now...you could of course find a relaxing way to spend next weekend with a paintball gun, and add some colour to your world by giving the dogs that splattered look. Or pour fake blood over the dumb shit's dogs, or even the dumb shit's dogs' shit.

If you fancy yourself as a Picasso, spray-painting animals causes them no harm, but it's a bugger to remove or can be if you use the right concoction. Try an outrageous combination of punk hues, it won't hurt, and unless the mongrels are trained to be aggressive they'll probably think it's a game if you first did the right thing by becoming their best neighbourhood buddy. Anyway, what do they care what colour they are?

Otoh you could buy one of those silent dog whistles, set your alarm for 3 a.m. when the neighbourhood's doggie owners are asleep. Now go out and toot quietly away on your new whistle. Very soon, subject to the usual variables, all the mutts within hearing distance will come to life; lights will come on all over the place as owners try frantically to settle them down or call the police to report prowlers. Many interesting variations.

How long have you been here? This isn't Disney World you know.

Originally Posted by Airportwo

My personal option would be for somebody to mow down the owners in a hail of bullets from an automatic weapon, then leave their bodies to be consumed by the animals

I think you are pretty much on the mark there...certainly can't see that you need our help!

I have never "handled a firearm" I believe the saying is, therefore am unable to carry out this charitable act!