Thread: Isaan People

Originally Posted by Chairman Mao

In my life experience: My parents were always 50/50 in providing everything. My 2 sisters are the same with their husbands. My friends who have married western women are the same.

Where I come from, the trend is that its the women that takes the higher education and acedemic jobs, while the men takes on the bluecollar work.

Originally Posted by Chairman Mao

Guess social evolution and equality is a bit much for some people to acknowledge.

I don't know where you come from, but at least now it won't come as a chock to you

Originally Posted by StrontiumDog

Originally Posted by helge

Originally Posted by StrontiumDog

I can't imagine giving money to an english girls family because a relative is sick

Why would you ? Not quite the same, when you think about it

I have a sister in law here, who are dying of cancer. Her daughter stopped working to take care of her. We have a spare 2 room guesthouse, where they could stay, with a bathroom fit for a wheelchair. Yes our place is like an airport now with visitors coming and going, but it was my suggestion that they moved in with us, and I feel its the only decent thing to do.

And this is an example of a kind, caring humane thing to do, for which you should be applauded.

Not the same as feeling obliged to buy things for the relatives.

Btw, why isn't it the same?

Because I assume that your english relative will be taken care of by the english welfare system that you have paid for via your taxes

Originally Posted by sabang

Not pointing the bone at anyone in particular, but I've read many accounts of these Thai/ western situations on many different Boards, and of course the bad experiences tend to get spread around more- that is quite normal. Sometimes, I'm sure the fault is outright with a scumbag family and/or spouse- heck, I've read enough accounts of farangs being murdered here for money. If you find yourself in this situation, my recommendation is to move away and live somewhere else- and it will certainly show where your spouses loyalties lie, too. An Aussie mate, when he's back in Thailand, is looking to buy around here for that exact same reason- a safe distance from scumbag family (in fairness only some of them) near Khon Kaen.

But I also get the idea that in other cases, the story isn't so simple or one sided. Some farangs proceed from a position of cultural arrogance, or expect things to be basically the same here as in the West. They make things worse by being confrontional, judgemental or just plain arrogant- all things that are counterproductive in a village society, particularly for an alien. Certainly some farang are able to mix and assimilate between different cultures more easily than others- and see good and bad things about both western culture, and Thai or Isaan culture. One thing about provincial Thai culture (not just Isaan) is that it is village based- and as with every village society personal relationships, ties of family, clan and other affiliations are very important. If an 'outsider' falls offside with that- no matter who might be at fault, if anyone- the locals are obliged to 'side' with their fellows, for reasons of harmony, loyalty and even face. And once 'offside' it is hard to get back 'onside'.

As far as Giving goes, I think a useful model is provided by the typical Thai family. Usually, and this is the case with my wifes family, some if not most of the young folk will head down south to work- because thats where the money and employment is. But a sibling or two might also stay in the Village, farm the family paddies, get casual work as an agricultural labourer where he can, etc. And the money here is not good, at all- so family working down south do help out with a bit of money here and there, for school fees, medical expenses- and they do so ungrudgingly. In return, they've got a place to stay (and party) when they come back to the village, and someones doing the job of taking care of the house and land. Thats the way it is with the locals, so if a farang who marries into a Thai family gets all bitter and argumentative about being asked to help out every now and again with a modest amount- and in a reasonable scenario he would just be pitching in along with other family members, not carrying the whole can- well he shouldn't resent it, and he's on a crash course with local sensibilities if he does. Because family are only too pleased to help out in return with chores around the house and that sort of thing, food off their land and so on. Thats the reasonable scenario anyhow, such as I've only ever encountered with my 'in law' family. Naturally, just like them we are on different budgets- not every westerner is 'rich' by any means, and a reasonable family would certainly take that into account. We've borrowed off Mrs sabs sister and mother to buy items for the house or pay builders- they're only too happy to lend, if they have the money- and of course we pay back promptly. We've also lent money to Mrs sabs sister to buy furniture for her new house up here, which she is very proud of- and in fact been paid back early. Modest amounts I should add- but I appreciate them helping us out (certainly cheaper than sending the money in from overseas), and I assume the same applies in reverse.

One benefit that TD has compared to the more tourist oriented 'mongers' boards that Pattaya seems to breed is that there are many members here that have lived in Thailand for several years quite happily, and in many different environments- remote villages, towns, cities, and on all range of budgets. To be honest, they don't tend to get involved in the whining threads too much- they've heard it all before, said it all before, it's certainly not their job or concern to mentor newbies, change their nappies or tell them the error of their ways (they'd only get defensive anyway). But to state the obvious, there are many of us living here quite happily and harmoniously- and it's hardly like we need to lie about it, or even broadcast it. Or pretend it's Utopia. But I guess they must be doing something right.

A nice post, thanks. It's great to hear of such positive tales as yours. I'd like to hear more such stories.

I agree that we tend to hear of the nightmares, but it does seem there's so many of them...

Was even redded for informing others of my social background in terms of 50/50 relationships being the norm. Not a 'relationship salary demand' in sight where I'm from.

Guess some don't like the illusion they've set themselves creeping into their consciousness.

^I agree, and get your point

Originally Posted by StrontiumDog

We also have individual responsibility as an inbuilt aspect of our culture.

Yes, I would say that is one of the good things about our culture- although I s'pose theres always the dole for the wasters.
Something I'd like to see more of in Thailand- it seems to me wasters and shirkers here get too easy a ride from the village system and/or their place of work, soft relatives and so on.
Anyhow, no place is perfect.

Originally Posted by sabang

Anyhow, no place is perfect.

Very true. Certainly the UK is far from perfect...!

I'll give you my record of money lending/giving to my wifes relatives here. This is a 5 year span:
Paid old debt for MIL 20000 Baht
Paid old debt in land and small house we lived in for 1 year 52000(5000 went to build a bathroom for BIL's family; didn't have any).
Unfortunately the builders placed our new home partly on the wrong address , but luckily her sister lived there, so another 100000 up and we bought her a new piece of land and demolished her home.
Well she didn't have a 100000 to build the new home so she borrowed from me. The money came back slowly and to speed it up,I paid out her car( 33000)so that she could pay me the 7000 each month, that she used to pay for her car.
Didn't work, and she is now a maid in our home, taken care of all manual work, and I was happy with that, when the wife was pregnant and now that the dipers a piling up.
She has another few years here before she is free
No more loans that way, and she knows it.

Paid out Villagefund debt for FIL 5000Baht
Told the wife that he wasn't supposed to take another loan there. She explained that she couldn't tell him that, but she would go and take the money of he's hand. No thanks.
We won't let him starve but otherwise....
BTW Gave him a SamLaw 8000 Baht. He sold it even I have the papers on it.
No more money that way. (He is under the influence of the new wife in his life; poor bastard)

Another SIL needed a motorbike for her daughter. The monthly payments would add up to 51000 and cash is was 33000.
Easy choice. The money came in every month, and is paid back. She can borrow again and did.
She settled a debt for my SIL, who's dying

BIL and wife borrowed 10000 to settle old sin sot debt.
I doubt I'll get it back allthough she has a nice portion rais with Yangpara.
The wife is a bit grumpy, that I haven't asked for the money, but in this case I see it as a good investment.
Now I know them and they can't borrow from me again.

Apart from that, they all have jobs eventhough some are underemployed, and they use alot of their income to send their kids to "expensive" schools.
And we get along

Originally Posted by Chairman Mao

Originally Posted by Rigger

Originally Posted by Chairman Mao

wife/marriage that some people con themselves into believing is something more than whore renting.

Thats normaly pretty black and white when you see a fat old farang with a nice looking young Thai girl. But I dont look at him and think the old barsted is renting a whore.
I think good on the old barsted for enjoying the finer things in life.
All the guys that I know that have a rented whore as a wife, are fine with it as they go where they want and fok who they want as the wife really doent give a toss as long as they get their money every month.
They are not all fools some are just enjoying a different kind of life style

What a life... Heaven.

Unfortunately we'll have to disagree on what we consider 'the finer things in life'.

No bigee.

Yes I guess young boys are your thing ?

Nah mate, I just don't consider being with overused $10 cumpipe prostitutes, as the 'finer things in life'.

As said, each to his own. No bigee.

Originally Posted by Chairman Mao

Nah mate, I just don't consider being with overused $10 cumpipe prostitutes, as the 'finer things in life'.

I see plenty of up and coming bar girls all the time in the village that would have never had a real cock in their lives,
I am sure if you paid well you could get a fresh one. I know a few Americians who came to the village and bought a couple of 16 yo girls and use to vist every few months until they were 18 yo old then married them and took them back to the states.

A match made in heaven... the lucky buggers.

Mind you, think of the time it takes to domesticate them... and all those fork injuries and the like. Must be lovely going for a nice meal at a nice place as a 50 yr old loser and a brown, asian, uneducated teenage prostitute.

Having nothing in common with the 'wife' must be fantastic... or maybe they come from the sewer too... the finer things in life indeed.

Originally Posted by Chairman Mao

Having nothing in common with the 'wife' must be fantastic... or maybe they come from the sewer too... the finer things in life indeed.

well it probably finer than having a 50 year fat chick jumping up and down on you , Anyway mate I think you miss the point they dont marry them for their table manners or to take them out to dinner. Are they pros if they have never worked in a bar but marry a farang for the chance of a better life for her and her family

Originally Posted by Ghandi

What do you really think of Isaan People , try and be honest

They like rice.

Originally Posted by Rigger

I know a few Americians who came to the village and bought a couple of 16 yo girls

gosh, how many was a "few"! did they argue if they came at the same time?

Originally Posted by StrontiumDog

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

Originally Posted by StrontiumDog

It is odd how westerners cave into the demands of the (very) extended family, you acquire when marrying an Isaan girl.

All of them? Wow!

Obviously not, oh genius. But I'd say it is a significant proportion.

You're seemingly not in that group then? You Don't spend money on the relatives? or feel obliged to do so?

One sister has borrowed 1000B, which was paid back a couple of weeks later. That's all I've done for them financially. They did put pressure on the Midget when I first started seeing her and I said that when I get in a position to help, then I would. They continued to push, so they've blown it. Shame, as I was going to get a blood-sugar tester for the MiL to help with her diabetes, but that's not going not happen now.

I will let them come and fish in our ponds and grow some food when we move to a farm in the New Year, as long as they don't take the piss, or they'll lose that as well.

As for giving money to the Midget; of course I do. I wouldn't eat, have a home or be able to send the kids to school if I didn't. It's called 'housekeeping' in the West and is quite normal despite what the deluded Mao reckons.

Originally Posted by Boon Mee

Fuck a bunch of high-brow conversation - they can get that down at the VFW Club!

And Issues- don't forget Issues.

Originally Posted by Rigger

All the guys that I know that have a rented whore as a wife, are fine with it as they go where they want and fok who they want as the wife really doent give a toss as long as they get their money every month.

I'm sure the miserable old Pensioners sipping on their pints at the cheapest pubs they can find in the UK would be well jealous. So good on 'em.

Originally Posted by sabang

Originally Posted by Boon Mee

Fuck a bunch of high-brow conversation - they can get that down at the VFW Club!

And Issues- don't forget Issues.

Issues is too 'intellectual' for that lot!

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

I will let them come and fish in our ponds and grow some food when we move to a farm in the New Year, as long as they don't take the piss,

Good one that Marmite these Isaan "fuvkers-in-law" cant do anything but take the piss.
I'll give your fish a week to live after you're left

Originally Posted by DrAndy

gosh, how many was a "few"! did they argue if they came at the same time?

No it was a Thai woman living in the USA that was making money by bring these guys to the village and if they married one of the girls the family paid her part of the Sin sot, I think the guys were paying her at the other end as well to met them.

Originally Posted by DrAndy

Quote: Originally Posted by Rigger I see plenty of up and coming bar girls all the time in the village that would have never had a real cock in their lives, that is true, although I am not sure what you mean by "real" cock

something bigger than white board marker