Thread: Isaan People

could you repeat that, but slightly clearer please.

See above ^^ I got probs here and not easy to type.

Originally Posted by Blake7

No Marmite. What it shows is that you are an dullard and lack the wit to have a proper conversation with an educated westerner.

Quoting Chaucer or discussing metaphysics isn't for me, so I guess you're right.

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

Originally Posted by Blake7

No Marmite. What it shows is that you are an dullard and lack the wit to have a proper conversation with an educated westerner.

Quoting Chaucer or discussing metaphysics isn't for me, so I guess you're right.

dunno Marmite, you could use this at your next dinner party

Thanne is it wysdom, as thynketh me, To maken vertu of necessite, And take it weel, that we may not eschu, And namely that that to us alle is due.

Originally Posted by StrontiumDog

It is odd how westerners cave into the demands of the (very) extended family, you acquire when marrying an Isaan girl.

All of them? Wow!

I must live in the twilight zone then.

Not pointing the bone at anyone in particular, but I've read many accounts of these Thai/ western situations on many different Boards, and of course the bad experiences tend to get spread around more- that is quite normal. Sometimes, I'm sure the fault is outright with a scumbag family and/or spouse- heck, I've read enough accounts of farangs being murdered here for money. If you find yourself in this situation, my recommendation is to move away and live somewhere else- and it will certainly show where your spouses loyalties lie, too. An Aussie mate, when he's back in Thailand, is looking to buy around here for that exact same reason- a safe distance from scumbag family (in fairness only some of them) near Khon Kaen.

But I also get the idea that in other cases, the story isn't so simple or one sided. Some farangs proceed from a position of cultural arrogance, or expect things to be basically the same here as in the West. They make things worse by being confrontional, judgemental or just plain arrogant- all things that are counterproductive in a village society, particularly for an alien. Certainly some farang are able to mix and assimilate between different cultures more easily than others- and see good and bad things about both western culture, and Thai or Isaan culture. One thing about provincial Thai culture (not just Isaan) is that it is village based- and as with every village society personal relationships, ties of family, clan and other affiliations are very important. If an 'outsider' falls offside with that- no matter who might be at fault, if anyone- the locals are obliged to 'side' with their fellows, for reasons of harmony, loyalty and even face. And once 'offside' it is hard to get back 'onside'.

As far as Giving goes, I think a useful model is provided by the typical Thai family. Usually, and this is the case with my wifes family, some if not most of the young folk will head down south to work- because thats where the money and employment is. But a sibling or two might also stay in the Village, farm the family paddies, get casual work as an agricultural labourer where he can, etc. And the money here is not good, at all- so family working down south do help out with a bit of money here and there, for school fees, medical expenses- and they do so ungrudgingly. In return, they've got a place to stay (and party) when they come back to the village, and someones doing the job of taking care of the house and land. Thats the way it is with the locals, so if a farang who marries into a Thai family gets all bitter and argumentative about being asked to help out every now and again with a modest amount- and in a reasonable scenario he would just be pitching in along with other family members, not carrying the whole can- well he shouldn't resent it, and he's on a crash course with local sensibilities if he does. Because family are only too pleased to help out in return with chores around the house and that sort of thing, food off their land and so on. Thats the reasonable scenario anyhow, such as I've only ever encountered with my 'in law' family. Naturally, just like them we are on different budgets- not every westerner is 'rich' by any means, and a reasonable family would certainly take that into account. We've borrowed off Mrs sabs sister and mother to buy items for the house or pay builders- they're only too happy to lend, if they have the money- and of course we pay back promptly. We've also lent money to Mrs sabs sister to buy furniture for her new house up here, which she is very proud of- and in fact been paid back early. Modest amounts I should add- but I appreciate them helping us out (certainly cheaper than sending the money in from overseas), and I assume the same applies in reverse.

One benefit that TD has compared to the more tourist oriented 'mongers' boards that Pattaya seems to breed is that there are many members here that have lived in Thailand for several years quite happily, and in many different environments- remote villages, towns, cities, and on all range of budgets. To be honest, they don't tend to get involved in the whining threads too much- they've heard it all before, said it all before, it's certainly not their job or concern to mentor newbies, change their nappies or tell them the error of their ways (they'd only get defensive anyway). But to state the obvious, there are many of us living here quite happily and harmoniously- and it's hardly like we need to lie about it, or even broadcast it. Or pretend it's Utopia. But I guess they must be doing something right.

land of illusions for the easily self tricked.

Here's a monthly salary tilak, if I stop giving it to you, you'll leave me, no I am not with a prostitute, no I am not with a prostitute, no I am not with a prostitute, no I am not with a prostitute, no I am not with a prostitute, repeat until believed by self.

No offense Mao but where do you live where the Man doesnt take care of the Woman? Be that protection, Food, Money, ETC. which are all basically the same thing.

If you were married to a Woman in the west and she stayed home and took care of you and the family and didnt work herself would she stay with you if you were a lazy mooch and didnt support her?

I understand in the west most Woman are forced to work just so the family can make ends meet in most instances but even in this situation I think most normal woman would dump your ass if you didnt do your part. From what I can see around here in Florida happens a LOT!!!! I know many, too many divorced Men and I can see why most of these Guys wives left them.

Monthly salary = she stays with you.
No monthly salary = she leaves you.
= prostitute.


And sorry, I've never seen a western woman be on a monthly salary. Unless of course, you know, she's a prostitute.

Originally Posted by beazalbob69

No offense Mao but where do you live where the Man doesnt take care of the Woman? Be that protection, Food, Money, ETC. which are all basically the same thing.

In my life experience: My parents were always 50/50 in providing everything. My 2 sisters are the same with their husbands. My friends who have married western women are the same. My western female friends I grew up with would probably be offended and disgusted if they had a boyfriend who patronisingly declared they'll be giving them a salary (to be a nice little girlfriend).

Guess social evolution and equality is a bit much for some people to acknowledge.

Originally Posted by Chairman Mao

Originally Posted by beazalbob69

No offense Mao but where do you live where the Man doesnt take care of the Woman? Be that protection, Food, Money, ETC. which are all basically the same thing.

In my life experience: My parents were always 50/50 in providing everything. My 2 sisters are the same with their husbands. My friends who have married western women are the same. My western female friends I grew up with would probably be offended and disgusted if they had a boyfriend who patronisingly declared they'll be giving them a salary (to be a nice little girlfriend).

Guess social evolution and equality is a bit much for some people to acknowledge.

But thats just it, when did western society change and make men and women equal in the financial part of the marrige? Men and Women each have their parts to play. You cant have 2 Male roles in a Male/Female marrige. Who takes care of the house and children? IMO that is the main reason western marriges are so messed up. Now the Man cant even be a Man without being branded a sexist.

P.S. My wife has a job and makes pretty good money on her own, But I still like to take care of her as I feel that is my job in this marrige.

Originally Posted by Chairman Mao

Originally Posted by beazalbob69

P.S. My wife has a job and makes pretty good money on her own, But I still like to take care of her as I feel that is my job in this marrige.

Yes. and this is very different to the 'You don't give me my monthly salary, I leave you' brand of thai wife/marriage that some people con themselves into believing is something more than whore renting.

I agree with you on that point.

If my wife demanded I give her everything it wouldnt last. But if I had the money I would support her so she didnt have to work herself and could do what I believe women are meant to do have a baby and raise it properly and take care of the home.

To me women and men are equal but different they each have different roles to play but nowadays those roles are blurred.

Originally Posted by Chairman Mao

In my life experience: My parents were always 50/50 in providing everything. My 2 sisters are the same with their husbands. My friends who have married western women are the same.

Yes, it does seem that for most people to get by and live a comfortable lifestyle in the west these days (or at least get some money put aside), both husband and wife have to work.

But in a case where the wife doesn't work- perhaps because hubby is well paid, or Mrs is busy raising the kids and taking care of the home, then of course the husband will financially support the family. I don't think many western women would agree with your apparent view that that is Prostitution.

Originally Posted by Chairman Mao

wife/marriage that some people con themselves into believing is something more than whore renting.

Thats normaly pretty black and white when you see a fat old farang with a nice looking young Thai girl. But I dont look at him and think the old barsted is renting a whore.
I think good on the old barsted for enjoying the finer things in life.
All the guys that I know that have a rented whore as a wife, are fine with it as they go where they want and fok who they want as the wife really doent give a toss as long as they get their money every month.
They are not all fools some are just enjoying a different kind of life style

But in a case where the wife doesn't work- perhaps because hubby is well paid, or Mrs is busy raising the kids and taking care of the home, then of course the husband will financially support the family. I don't think many western women would agree with your apparent view that that is Prostitution.

Unless she demands a set amount, paid the 1st of the month, otherwise she's out the door to find someone who will.

Originally Posted by Rigger

Originally Posted by Chairman Mao

wife/marriage that some people con themselves into believing is something more than whore renting.

Thats normaly pretty black and white when you see a fat old farang with a nice looking young Thai girl. But I dont look at him and think the old barsted is renting a whore.
I think good on the old barsted for enjoying the finer things in life.
All the guys that I know that have a rented whore as a wife, are fine with it as they go where they want and fok who they want as the wife really doent give a toss as long as they get their money every month.
They are not all fools some are just enjoying a different kind of life style

What a life... Heaven.

Unfortunately we'll have to disagree on what we consider 'the finer things in life'.

No bigee.

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

Originally Posted by StrontiumDog

It is odd how westerners cave into the demands of the (very) extended family, you acquire when marrying an Isaan girl.

All of them? Wow!

Obviously not, oh genius. But I'd say it is a significant proportion.

You're seemingly not in that group then? You Don't spend money on the relatives? or feel obliged to do so?

Originally Posted by helge

Originally Posted by StrontiumDog

I can't imagine giving money to an english girls family because a relative is sick

Why would you ? Not quite the same, when you think about it

I have a sister in law here, who are dying of cancer. Her daughter stopped working to take care of her. We have a spare 2 room guesthouse, where they could stay, with a bathroom fit for a wheelchair. Yes our place is like an airport now with visitors coming and going, but it was my suggestion that they moved in with us, and I feel its the only decent thing to do.

And this is an example of a kind, caring humane thing to do, for which you should be applauded.

Not the same as feeling obliged to buy things for the relatives.

Btw, why isn't it the same?