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  1. #1
    Thailand Expat
    spliff's Avatar
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    Sphincter to mouth

    The first time I ever did this was when I was relatively drunk. She was a conservative Thai/Issan chinese decent girl who'd had some wine and let her inhibitions melt off.

    In moments like this, your pants are clawed off, the previously shy female is mawing at your cazzo with full oral aggression, and your own inhibitions are torn asunder by raw animal rage. Here's a caboose in your face, your netherlands alight with dripping fury, and you'll be damned if a bit of fecal fear is gonna put you off of matching passion. So you go in with the tongue. It's not a bad place to be.

    Let's turn the tables, now. I've had many a girl--over 50%--make the foolhardy attempt to slide her tongue a few inches too far down. I'll tell you right now, ladies: you feel compelled to work beyond the cock, and it's not necessary. A little ball action is fine, but once you start delving into the taint and ass--and trust me, we can sense your hesitation here--you've overstepped your role. Unless you're being paid forget it. A man's ass is the last place you ever want to be.


    Please be truthful and forcoming.



    Mommy plays with my wee-wee - Every Korean boy under 21

  2. #2
    I am in Jail
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    I have been told that American women love to finger their men in the ass,

    but most American men are pooves anyway,

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat
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    ^stats? I figured not...

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat Texpat's Avatar
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    Butterhole takes any manner of items straight up the jacksie -- with no grease.

    Fists, bowling pins, small canoes, whole midgets...

    No foreplay, hell, he doesn't even bother asking the name of the dude that's about to plow his ass.

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat
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    what is your point Spliff?

    trying to get off on others experiences?

  6. #6
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by spliff
    The first time I ever did this was when I was relatively drunk
    and the second? third? 999?

    what is relatively drunk?

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat
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    Truthfully, I lick azz each ad every day I can.

  8. #8
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrAndy View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by spliff
    The first time I ever did this was when I was relatively drunk
    and the second? third? 999?

    what is relatively drunk?
    I suppose right about the threshold of having sex w/ a complete but pleasant stranger.

  9. #9
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    I heard that before too Tex, but I can;t remember who it was that said it.

    And I have been American longer than anyone on here and I have hosed a lot of the ladies there too, but in my experience and estimation is that The Queer Frog is just back to his old tricks, but it has been said that until he tosses your salad, it ain't reallt been tossed yet.

  10. #10
    Thailand Expat
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    If you go down on a girl, you're in that neighbourhood anyway. Your eyes, ears, nose and mouth. No sense being squeamish.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by spliff
    Truthfully, I lick azz each and every day I can.
    Who doesn't?

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Texpat View Post
    Butterhole takes any manner of items straight up the jacksie -- with no grease.

    Fists, bowling pins, small canoes, whole midgets...

    No foreplay, hell, he doesn't even bother asking the name of the dude that's about to plow his ass.
    You know this personally then, huh?

  13. #13
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    Nothing wrong with probing a girls rusty sheriffs badge. They all shower before and after here anyway.

  14. #14
    Thailand Expat
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    Before and after they have a dump? After, sure but why "before"?

  15. #15
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    It reminds me of the Chris Rock stand up (HBO Special) where he explains what a tossed salad is.... I am relatively sheltered and it was rather shocking.... Why do Americans all turn ultra gay in prison it is frowned upon in the UK and rapists ( of anykind) have to be kept on the nonce's wing to avoid getting a knife in their guts.
    They champion falsehood, support the butcher against the victim, the oppressor against the innocent child. May God mete them the punishment they deserve

  16. #16
    Thailand Expat Texpat's Avatar
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    What's a tossed salad? Thought it came after the soup and appetizer.
    Some Euros swap the order -- salad after the main course.

    The Brittles throw everything, including the desert, into a pot and boil it.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Texpat View Post
    What's a tossed salad? Thought it came after the soup and appetizer.
    Some Euros swap the order -- salad after the main course.

    The Brittles throw everything, including the desert, into a pot and boil it.
    During a NATO excercise in Norway, my unit as responsible for feeding a troop of yank engineers. They turned up with their Prison issue tin trays and loaded them with roast beef and all the trimmings, then put apple pie and custard on top of the lot!

  18. #18
    Thailand Expat Texpat's Avatar
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    my unit as responsible for feeding a troop of yank engineers
    You required your guests to bring their own plates?

    True Class! After that indignity, I can imagine they'd be keen to get the fuck away from such gracious hosts.
    Last edited by Texpat; 21-08-2009 at 11:25 PM.

  19. #19
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    Guess what dummy, it was a FIELD kitchen, we were doing them a favour because their boss left them behind with no fucking rations.

  20. #20
    Elite Mumbler
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    Quote Originally Posted by Texpat
    You required your guests to bring their own plates? True Class! After that indignity, I can imagine they'd be keen to get the fuck away from such gracious hosts.
    Quote Originally Posted by chassamui
    Guess what dummy, it was a FIELD kitchen, we were doing them a favour because their boss left them behind with no fucking rations.

  21. #21
    I am in Jail

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    Quote Originally Posted by chassamui
    then put apple pie and custard on top of the lot!
    So whats the problem? Where else were they going to put it?? one tin plate?

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Texpat View Post
    What's a tossed salad? Thought it came after the soup and appetizer.
    Some Euros swap the order -- salad after the main course.

    The Brittles throw everything, including the desert, into a pot and boil it.
    Think of a prison bitch a prison bully with a penchant for having his ass hole chewed out with somekind of condiment.... It means the same outside of prison too so becareful what food you order if you head back stateside.


    *check out the Chris Rock version on Bigger Blacker he tells it so much better and is one funny mutha fucka.

  23. #23
    Thailand Expat Texpat's Avatar
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    Chassy seems quick to change the story at a whim.

    Whatever Chassy. Did they enjoy your cooking? Some would consider that a compliment. If their own support had departed, I'm sure an agreement had been reached regarding compensation. Perhaps you'd rather not like to discuss that.

    Asshat.

  24. #24
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Texpat
    Perhaps you'd rather not like to discuss that.
    In the British Army we call it 'Mutual Support'
    I was obliged to fill in the blanks because some thick xenophobic yank can't tell the difference between his own compensation culture, and the goodwill that exists between all allied sevicemen.
    It seems this bond, which is understood by soldiers is beyond your comprehension.

  25. #25
    Thailand Expat Texpat's Avatar
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    quite the contrary, humpty. Spent many months in Al Kharj, Saudi, with Frogs and Poms. There was a serious on-way traffic between US and French mess tents.
    No Americans ever went to the Pom mess.

    I wonder why? It was shit. It was worse than shit. It was worse than recycled camel shit. If the yanks wanted good (alternate) chow they went -- almost to the man -- to the Frog's mess tent. Your fukkin shit was putrid.

    IT WAS FUKKIN PUTRID.

    Can you understand that? There were statistics involved concerning the cross-referencing of airmen into other chow halls.

    The fukkin Brittle slop was the least desirable among the three -- by far.

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