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Thread: Cockroach Tales

  1. #1
    loob lor geezer
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    Cockroach Tales

    Can't be many of us who havn't bumped into one of these disgusting critters.
    Here are a couple of my own close encounters.

    Whilst taking a 2 month cultural break at Angeles City in the Philippines , I enlisted the services of a girl from the then well known Studio 1. As we hit it off , I decided to save on hotel bills and thus have a larger disipation fund , by moving into her room. To my surprise, it had once been wall papered but since the Spanish left it had been neglected and was now barely clinging to the wall.
    Come lights out it wasn't long before it sounded like I had crashed out on a forest floor in autumn ...... an ominous rustling from behind the wallpaper. Flicking on the lights I saw an army of roaches rehearsing the trooping of the colour across the wall. Somewhat alarmed I spent the next few hours with the sheet wrapped over my head and tucked in as best I could, trembling with fear.
    Eventually however, sleep overcame me an I dozed of into an uneasy sleep about 3.30 a.m.
    I should explain that at this time I sported a moustache and was recovering from hepatitis so was stuck on a diet of coke and sprite which on this occasion I had failed to wash off.
    About an hour later I was disturbed from my slumber by a tickling sensation around my upper lip. Waking with a start I brushed my face and switched on the light to see two roaches scampering across the bed. I moved back into the hotel next day.

    Back in Thailand, long before drug paranoia , I was a member of ECC's tokin teflers and had a custom made bamboo pipe that was knocked up for me in a jiffy at Chatuchak market. Returning weary from the blackboards one day, I put the kettle on for a cuppa and set about my first pipe of the day. Taking a good long pull from the top of the pipe I took it away from my mouth. I was just getting ready for seconds when a couple of long antennae emerged from the pipe shortly followed by a large roach looking a bit shakey on his feet. After that, I went back to spliffs.

    Finaly, whilst eating at the esahn food stall near the Mayo hospital, one of the bastards ran up my trouser leg and headed for my goolies. In a panic , I forgot decorum and was franticlly trying to remove my trousers whilst doing a pretty fair fandango until my girlfriend managed to stop me and I had to take the only other option which was squashing it against my leg. Very unpleasant and was followed by a lot of one legged hopping trying to shake the corpse out. After that I wore bicycle clips whenever eating there again.

  2. #2
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    euw!

    just a couple of days ago at breakfast I was pouring my mother an orange juice from the container and a dead bugger slipped out of the OJ into the glass!

    The maid must have left the lid off in the kitchen!


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    Thailand Expat
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    Every few days I find a dead one in the Thai kitchen attached to the back of the townhouse. The jing joks take care of them I reckon, but why don't they eat them?

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    my cats kill them for fun. but then leave the carcasses for me!

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    They even pop up in Super Clean Switzerland. I rented a flat and my boyfriend bought me a fly swat for a housewarming present. Then the pest control guys came round and sprayed the place, I don't know what is worse - the ones that scurry around or the ones that are half dead and you have to put them out of their misery as they die a slow death on your kitchen counter.

    Where I live now is twice the price in rent - but no beasties other than the fat cat bird murderer, three poor wee birds in two days, and one was still alive and chirping.

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    I know, he's just showing me his love and bringing me presents...

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    Thailand Expat

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    This stuff in the yellow bottles works a treat on em, as well as those annoying little ants that seem to come from everywhere.

    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly View Post
    let me explain simply 100MB != 1GB RAM

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    Eric
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    I was at Central Plaza BKK christmas time last year or earlier; can't remember but they had all the main stages out and beer gardens.

    Started to piss down with rain, whilst the majority of affected customers managed to take shelter outside the shopping centre the wife and I were stranded on the other side of the plaza. By now the water sat on top of the plaza was half an inch high; we prepared to aquaplane across, beer brolly in hand for the downpour.

    I got nearly to the other side and I could feel some tickling on my neck - I thought nothing of it believing it to be the rain dripping from the edge of the umbrella. This tickling sensation reached my mouth however so I had a quick grab only to pull off my face a dirty little roach squirming away within my grasp. Dirty little thing had climbed up my body.

    Quick step I threw thew dirty little fok on the plaza floor; the 'orrible thing was stuck on it's back wriggling away unable to move as the water was too high. I really wanted as in any other situation to stamp on the fucking thing - the fact that there were upto 100 spectators and the cockroach was at 3 metres out in front, crushing the dirty shit would have looked too savage. I'm still affected by that.

    On a brighter note, went to work on day and a young big breasted farang was casually stood outside of my work soaking up the songkhran sunshine. To my disbelief there was a huge cockroach to her and her friends ignorance relaxing on her tit snuggled on top of her white shirt. I clocked it straight away and as I passed her just mentioned that she had a roach on her, ahem, top.

    She looked at me a bit wierd; when she looked down the scream was worth it, made my day

  9. #9
    Sprayed On Member
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    I read this thread before I went to bed last night and I was thinking how I'd not seen a cockroach for months and was quite pleased.

    Then I got up in the night to take a dump and whilst I was sat on the throne I saw a pair of dirty black antenna poke up from the gap behind the sink followed by a massive cockroach. Couldn't complete my dump with that thing in the room so went back to bed but couldn't get to sleep with said dump sat in my stomach.

    At about 6am I remembered that weve got a second bathroom and slept fine after that.

  10. #10
    Thailand Expat

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    Biggest roaches I have ever seen were in KL.

    Huge they were.

    I found that perimiter spray was the best thing for stopping them.

    Once a week or so spray around the inside perimiter of the house and they died on contact if they came in.

    Worked wonders.

  11. #11
    loob lor geezer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fondles View Post
    This stuff in the yellow bottles works a treat on em, as well as those annoying little ants that seem to come from everywhere.

    The trouble with a lot of these sprays is that they work almost as well , if not better on humans. Best used if you are going out for the day and won't be back for several hours. I really loathe roaches and cannot sleep if there is one in the room. An Aussie mate who I was flat sharing with had a pet python. I woke up one night to find it wrapped around me for warmth. Even that didn't freak me out as much as a roach does.

  12. #12
    Thailand Expat

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    You just need a permethrin based spray

    I used to use the orange capped one with the long nozzle to get in at the edges.

  13. #13
    loob lor geezer
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsquirrel View Post
    You just need a permethrin based spray

    I used to use the orange capped one with the long nozzle to get in at the edges.
    Thanks to you and Fondles for the recommendation. Luckily, where I live now they are very rare , ( indoors at least ) so I can sleep easy. A few weeks back the local council came around and sprayed inside all the street drains. That was a sight. They just swarmed out in droves on very shakey legs. Outside our house and on the front drive I personally despatched 68 of the buggers on a 1 hour killing spree. All the neighbors joined in as well and the whole street had a sort of ' killfest '. Most gratifying.

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    So, I have surmised that all you big alpha hansum men are scared of little doody critters!!

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    <embed src="http://www.metacafe.com/fplayer/7598...break_free.swf" width="400" height="345" wmode="transparent" pluginspage="Adobe - Adobe Flash Player" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullScreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" name="Metacafe_75982"> </embed><br><font size = 1><a href="Cockroaches Break Free - Video Break Free</a> - <a href="http://www.metacafe.com/">Click here for this week’s top video clips</a></font>

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    Last night Cameron Cooper threw a slab on concrete on one as we were having a beer on the street. The slab broke in two over the cockroaches back, amazing.

    I don't like them because they walk into your path, it's like they want to be squished.

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    loob lor geezer
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    Quote Originally Posted by patsycat View Post
    So, I have surmised that all you big alpha hansum men are scared of little doody critters!!
    In my case correct. After watching Fuzzy Bobs video I'm already looking over my shoulder. Having fessed up I should say I used to know a German guy who made Arnold Schwarenegger look like a wimp, and his phobea was worse than mine. He once squashed me against a door frame trying to exit a room simultaneously as myself on account of half a dozen we found hiding beneath an old sofa.

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    ^^ Are we supposed to know who Cameron Cooper is?

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    The cold, wet one
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    One morning, on awaking in a Phuket resort room with (ex now) hubby, we saw black blood like trails across the sheets on his side. Looking down at the floor, we saw 2 huge dead cockroaches that had obviously crawled across him in his sleep & which he had successfully ( ) swatted.



    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly
    just a couple of days ago at breakfast I was pouring my mother an orange juice from the container and a dead bugger slipped out of the OJ into the glass!
    My last house (before this) was infested with mice. (No, not my fault!) I used oil in some of the dog's breakfasts. I went to add oil one day & found a mouse had chewed off the plastic top of the oil, somehow squeezed itself into the bottle (a normal 750ml or 1 litre bottle) and drowned. Grrroooogghhh!

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    Did a H & S survey of an up-market food court in Singapore - checked the greasetrap - took the lid off - BAD IDEA - 2 feet of water - 6 inches of grease- and 6 inches of cockroaches that were somewhat pissed off by being disturbed !!
    Cleared the place of customers in less than 2 mins and shut it down for 2 days !!!

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    I lived in Key West Florida many years ago in a 2nd floor apartment with a balcony and french doors. There were creatures called palmetto bugs, they were 2-3 inch cockroaches with the capability of flight.
    I kept an old tennis raquet next to the couch, and must admit I had some enjoyable evenings volleying the F***K**Rs back out through the french doors.
    Luckily, on Maui they don't fly so I use a regular spray of Malathion around the house to keep them at bay.

  22. #22
    Guest Member S Landreth's Avatar
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    ^Being raised in S Florida I know them well (the flyers). As a kid I was a bit apprehensive about approaching one to move or extinguish it.

    A tennis racket sounds like a good (fun way) idea to move them.

    Here in Thailand they sell an electrified racket for swatting mosquitoes. I brought a few of them back to the states,…..I will try that on them to see what effect it has on them. Probably just piss them off and they will return with family/gang members.
    Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

  23. #23
    សុខសប្បាយ
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    There's not many of them in Thailand.

    The Canary Isles and Africa are the worst places for them.
    Mortals you defy the Gods, I sentence you to travel among unknown stars, until you find the Kingdom of Hades, your bodies will stay as lifeless as stone.

  24. #24
    I am in Jail

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    Just attract a pair of Myna birds. They eat toast ends and then hang around to eat scuttling vermin.



    Never had a prob with roaches in Thailand. But saw many around, especially at restaurants where they leave the dirty dishes soaking overnight in a big tub outside.

    Many moons ago I was drinking a Spanish coffee at a fav club in Gastown, Vancouver. I asked for NO maraschino cherry. Was finishing the drink and got a big glob in my mouth. Bladdy Herbie! He put a cherry in my drink! Spat it out and it was a dead cockroach.

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    Don't really bother me, but I watched this film again recently...


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