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  1. #126
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    Spin's Avatar
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    Sounds like you have the work side of things pretty much decided LT, thats fair enough, I just thought I'd toss in my 25 satangs worth. i didnt think you'd be actaully agreeing with me or anything mad like that!

    But yeah, if thats your plan he's gonna need to know Thai inside out.

  2. #127
    On a walkabout Loy Toy's Avatar
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    Mate I really appreciate your input but I want my boy to work for whatever he can get out of life as I am sure both you and I have had to do.

    If he shows an interest later and can contribute positively I would welcome him but I think he wants to be a pianist. Making plastic buckets might not be his cup of tea.............hopefully

  3. #128
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fabian
    One of my ex's sons missed some homework and classes. He and all others who had done similar deeds had to come at the end of the term with their parents for some bolocking by their head teacher and some provincial school official. Afterwards he had to do clean the school and do all the missed work. The latter part is what would have bothered me the most as a student. So much for "Thai schools don't do that kind of thing".
    That's the Thai school way. If a student fails a subject they make it up at the end of the term. Of course, the parents should be informed about this when the first homework is late and the student could be given a detention to complete it. Normally in these cases, the student's have fallen so far behind the extra work will not make up for it. Very poor system.

  4. #129
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spin
    Thai men are spoliled at work. Sitting on arseholes whilst the women do the work is their MO.
    not all.

  5. #130
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    Hi L T .

    First of all the comment about Cost of International education here in Thailand was not intended as a dig at you. As you said, it’s a fact that many families simply cannot afford the prices – when my daughter graduated from ISB here in Bangkok I was paying over Baht 600,000.- a year, and that was 7 years ago, I have no idea what it would cost now!

    That said, to my mind the most important gift parents can give their children is a good education, the best they can afford at least. I also strongly believe it’s a mistake to plan too far ahead and “socially engineer” towards a target you set for them yourself.

    In your sons’ case, being educated in the Thai system and, later, gaining work experience only in Thailand will mean he has absolutely no experience of International business practices; I think that would be a major disadvantage in running a business here today – let alone in say 15 years time.

    And your daughters will have their own set of problems – educated only in Thailand what will their Career / marriage prospects be?

    My own situation is similar to yours in many ways – although I am 10 years older than you.

    I have been here since 1971, run my own successful business here and have no intention of returning to UK. Married for over 30 years to an educated Thai woman we have one daughter now aged 26. As mentioned she went to ISB here in Bangkok, then on to University in London where she now works for one of the Top 4 Accountancy firms with a 6 figure salary. She speaks, reads and writes fluent Thai and English; she learnt Thai in the same way she learnt English – from family, friends and so on and never had any special lessons in either language.

    Ideally I would like her to take over my business eventually but I now doubt that will happen, it’s a specialised Engineering Company and she shows no interest in that field – plus she’s very happy with her career and lifestyle in London!

    Everyone makes choices at various points in time, but I sometimes wonder how my daughters’ life would have turned out if – for example – I had determined on preparing her to take over my business here in Thailand rather than letting her choose her own path.

    Patrick

  6. #131
    On a walkabout Loy Toy's Avatar
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    Thanks for your reply Patrick but let me repeat this new school is a bilingual school and we have chosen the 70% Thai 30% English course and will see how it goes this year.

    My 3 children range in age from 6 to 12 years old and it is my priority that they master written Thai as a priority as my children are Thai nationals.

    Purely and simply their previous school was not providing them with an education that suited a Thai citizen as there was little or no Thai curriculum rendering my 12 year old son totally ignorant of written Thai.

    Your comment "Education is the greatest gift a parent can give their child" is so true and that is why we have made the decision and for their ultimate benefit.

    With regard to business practises here I can honestly say that some of the companies I have worked for and with in S.E Asia could compete regarding efficiency and manufacturing output along with the best from the western world.

    In my opinion and in the future my kids are ideally positioned and to take their position in the workforce here in Greater Asian and to be totally frank learning Chinese would be the next language I think they should master and after they have perfected Thai and English. I will give them the opportunity to learn that language at the right time for them.

    With regard to your daughter she sounds like a special person with the ability to pick things up with ease and you must be very proud. Unfortunately and especially with regard to my 12 year old son he is not so gifted and even after 2 years of private Thai lessons at home.

    With regard to living and working in Thailand you have to be in it to win it. By exposing my children to Thailand socially I hope they can also learn the ropes and with regard to how things work here.

    Yes there are many colours regarding rules and business ethics here and it is important to learn how to read those colours and to be successful here so exposure to the good and bad is most important.

    Again thanks for your post and advice.

  7. #132
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    well said Patrick.

  8. #133
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    Wonder what percentage of readers here even know about the Peter Principal. Most are off trying to research it me suspects.

    I've stayed away from posting even though I have my own beliefs re. discipline. Fair enough to give my background as an ex Catholic school student!. I didn't come out tooo awful bad either.

    I do wish to address the apparent rebellion of the young lad though.

    I was suddenly left with a 12 yr old daughter and a 7 yr old son after the death of my wife. I immediately sought the help of professional counsel in dealing with my children. As was normal I had been pretty much 'missing' from the home as work (full time and part time) made it impossible to see them for more than an hour or so a night and one of two days on the weekends.

    My wife handled all the family issues including discipline, schooling and overall behavior and attitudes. She was a very tough task master due to the circumstances of her life.

    The advice I was given in regard to handling the children etc. was this " establish your routine, the children will adapt quite rapidly, in fact more so than yourself."

    AS I was particularly worried about my daughter's approach to puberty, I was told that yes there would be an 'age' or time where she would be difficult and added upon the circumstances of her mother's death it could lead to problems in discipline etc.

    It came about as predicted, I dealt with it as I normally would. Being careful not to over-react, I was firm and 'tried' to be understanding. We survived.

    I forced both out of my house when they were 18. They either had to go to college or get a job on their own and take care or their own life. My daughter chose to further her education ( I paid half initially and would pay the remainder of the costs upon "graduation", no graduate you eat the last half of the bills.)


    She has 4 degrees... lolol

    My son chose to go to work. He started out building houses, fair enough, he had had enough of school

    They are both very successful and have great families. Each makes a point in thanking me (no shit) each and every time I see them, for raising them to be able to succeed and be their own person with a set of values that they built themselves.

    In reference to your son LT I believe you've chosen the correct solution. The basics of a foundation for future life. I expect there are a couple of reasons for his recent behavior, the change in school, the "age" of maturation and a bit of rebellion due to the fact your not his blood. This will pass with the establishment of his routine and gradual growing up. They love to test us at that age, what they don't realize is we did the same thing...

    Best of luck
    E.G.
    "If you can't stand the answer --
    Don't ask the question!"

  9. #134
    On a walkabout Loy Toy's Avatar
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    ^ Thanks mate for your great post and your words have been absorbed for future reference and use.

    Actually I started this thread and for the main reason about learning others experiences here and I think I have accomplished my goal.

    I also felt there are many in the same boat as me, initially wanting to provide what we feel is the best possible "farang style" education for our children but then realizing down the line that probably you have made a mistake in spite of our best intentions.

    Anyway I have had a few days of tears, belligerance and sulking but had a man to man with him last night and it seems he now understands what is in front of him.

    We will take it day by day and have asked for extra classes for all three (1 hour a day after normal school) and lessons on Saturday and Sunday keeping their English up too speed.

  10. #135
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    I didn't want to clutter up the previous post with this but it is applicable.

    In my current situation I have a 14 yr old female stepchild (from a relationship that is almost 4 yrs old) that goes to a private boarding school in Rayong. It was my initial intention to provide her with a decent education. Decent in my western mind was analogous to my own, my children's and my grand-children's education.

    I've had difficulty in realizing that this young lady is never going to compete in the western world. Her education, no matter where provided, will NOT be of the same standard as my expectations. Its a helluva realization that its almost impossible for Thai kids to assimilate western thought patterns.

    I pushed her gently to learn English while at home with us, taking advantage of a natural speaking environment. Totally foreign to her even though she takes 'English' at school. Part of the issue I've discovered is fright. She is totally uncomfortable around me speaking English for fear of making a mistake. Face and all that it encumbers holds her back.

    When she returned here for summer break a couple of months ago she brought her "report" card STS... Not good in my mind, she has been in private school since she started and I was shocked at the report.

    My belief is still strong in that an education is the most important thing I can provide for her (and will continue to do so) it just won't make her an engineer or a doctor. She will rise to her own level and be quite satisfied with it I believe.

    Unless Thai children have been around westerners from birth they just aren't able to process information the same way. The basic building blocks seem to be missing.

    The key piece missing to me is discipline. Thai children are pampered and cajoled from the instant of birth. A cry or a whimper generally brings all the women in the area running to be the first to console a baby. It leads to severely spoiling them as the grow through their formative years. Often, not always, it leads to the lackadaisical attitude you find in adults. The exception is the first born female of the Thai family which normally gets the job of cleaning/cooking for the rest of the family once they have reached their teens.

    We cannot - no matter how hard we try - overcome the bias the formative years have impacted their young lives. Yes, we try and do our damnest but reality says its just too late in most cases.

    Don't mean to be a spoiler but its observations over the years that I've formed.

    I keep trying though

    E. G.

  11. #136
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    Quote Originally Posted by El Gibbon
    Unless Thai children have been around westerners from birth they just aren't able to process information the same way. The basic building blocks seem to be missing.
    This is silly. I know many very intelligent Thai university students who are just as able as a westerner of the same age. Even if some don't process information in the same way, it doesn't automatically make it inferior. You say she won't be able to become a doctor because she doesn't have "western thought patterns", but, don't you think there are Thai doctors, engineers, lawyers etc......?

    I think you have a very old fashioned way of looking a things, sending a child to boarding school is a big mistake in my opinion. You have little control over the way they will grow and develop in those years. And as you already have found, when they return, they have spent so long away that the kids might not feel comfortable at home, which in your case appears to have stopped her practicing English with you.

  12. #137
    On a walkabout Loy Toy's Avatar
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    ^ I agree as I have considered boarding school for my son and after talking to some experts in the field I have decided against that move.

    As you said (I think it was you) education begins at home and if I was to move him away from our family environment I believe it would affect him negatively.

    I also know of many Thai graduates who could hold their own and against any western graduate.

    My partner who has a Masters Degree from a Thai University in Civil Engineering is one of the most gifted common sense person I have ever met and he is only one example.

    Anyone who feels that they are superior because of their western education are in for a rude shock and in the years to come.

  13. #138
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    Quote Originally Posted by madjbs
    I know many very intelligent Thai university students who are just as able as a westerner of the same age.


    Quote Originally Posted by madjbs
    You say she won't be able to become a doctor because she doesn't have "western thought patterns", but, don't you think there are Thai doctors, engineers, lawyers etc......?
    not really

  14. #139
    On a walkabout Loy Toy's Avatar
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    ^ You would be surprised Jim.

    I can say from personal experience some of the best doctors, dentists and other specialists are found here in Asia.

    I had a fractured 3rd vertebrae (spine) for years and suffered pain 24 hours a day for years and no doctor in the west could work out my problem.

    I went to the Bangkok Nursing Home in Soi Convent and within 30 minutes the specialist there had me on a traction machine and has (fingers crossed) sorted my problem out for good.

    I have found that dental care is probably the best and cheapest in the world here and the other specialsts are extremely experienced and caring.

    As for my blokes (engineers) that work with me we sell technology to the Japenese and Germans so better get your act together before you miss your life bus mate.
    Last edited by Loy Toy; 29-05-2009 at 03:13 PM.

  15. #140
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    The medical standard in singapore is first class

  16. #141
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loy Toy
    I have found that dental care is probably the best and cheapest in the world here and the other specialsts are extremely experienced and caring.
    I've got a great dentist here, unfortunately she charges like a wounded bull, and is a bit of a perfectionist regarding the state of our teeth!

  17. #142
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loy Toy
    Have you ever heard of the "Peter Principle"?
    Is that the one where you piss yourself and everybody laughs at you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Patrick
    I also strongly believe it’s a mistake to plan too far ahead and “socially engineer” towards a target you set for them yourself. In your sons’ case, being educated in the Thai system and, later, gaining work experience only in Thailand will mean he has absolutely no experience of International business practices; I think that would be a major disadvantage in running a business here today – let alone in say 15 years time. And your daughters will have their own set of problems – educated only in Thailand what will their Career / marriage prospects be?
    nothing wrong with planning ahead, but I agree that trying to force kids into what you want is a mistake. My father tried to get me into his business, but failed luckily. My bro was in but jumped out

    just because there is a successful business does not mean your kids would be happy working in it.

    BUT who cares if he does not have experience in international business practices if he doesn't want to be a business man?

    and why would his daughters be any less happy in Thailand, married or not?
    I have reported your post

  18. #143
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly
    and is a bit of a perfectionist regarding the state of our teeth!
    I know what you mean mate and my Asian dentist is repairing all the work done by my white skinned dentist.

    Regarding cost I still expect that the fees here are still 50% of what you would pay for the same service in Oz.

    I recently had a wisdom tooth extracted by a lady dentist (it was giving me hell) and she at first suggested I go to the hospital.

    I told her to crack on and she had it out and my gum sewn back up in about 20 minutes and all for the cost of (including x-ray and medicine) 400 Baht.

  19. #144
    On a walkabout Loy Toy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrAndy
    Is that the one where you piss yourself and everybody laughs at you?
    No but if I get more stupid replies like yours here I might start a thread explaining it.

  20. #145
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrAndy
    Is that the one where you piss yourself and everybody laughs at you?
    Oh I get it now Andy (I'm a bit slow today after a heavy night out) Piss yourself>>>>Peter Pan

    Nasty, nasty fellow you are sometimes!

  21. #146
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loy Toy
    I told her to crack on and she had it out and my gum sewn back up in about 20 minutes and all for the cost of (including x-ray and medicine) 400 Baht.
    mrskw had 3 wisdom teeth pulled the other month, cost something like 10,000

  22. #147
    On a walkabout Loy Toy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly
    mrskw had 3 wisdom teeth pulled the other month, cost something like 10,000
    Fook that's a bit steep mate!

    Well better out than in and she won't have to go back again.

  23. #148
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    Before criticism is leveled it might be better to slow down on the response time and try and understand what was written.

    Nuff said.
    Regardless this is aimed at no one in particular, just those that try and get the GOTCHA first.

    Wish you the Best LT
    E. G.

  24. #149
    On a walkabout Loy Toy's Avatar
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    ^ Your a champ mate and we are now sitting in our lounge room with 2 head teachers from the new school to discuss what's best for our kids. Good service I reckon and something we never got from The Regents!

  25. #150
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    ^ LT, things could be worse...(an oldie but goodie)

    A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'
    With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
    Dear Dad:
    It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
    I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
    But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.
    Stacy said that we will be very happy.
    She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
    Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.
    We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
    In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
    Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.
    Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
    Love,
    Your Son John


    PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
    I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report card That's in my center desk drawer.
    I love you.
    Call me when it's safe to come home.

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