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  1. #1
    Hansum Man! panama hat's Avatar
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    Severe Foot in Mouth Disease

    My wife has a Law conference at the Marriott today and as it starts at 9 she asked me to drive her into the city and we could then have lunch together during their break.

    Excellent . . . parked in the Marriott basement car park, went up to the conference room where Mrs Hat introduced me to a very nice Malay lady in her 40s (no, no headscarf or any of the Muslim trappings on her).

    She asked me if I was attending the conference as well to which I replied that I'm just here to drop off my wife and act as her bodyguard (haha, little joke . . . )

    She replied that that is what men are good for and added that her husband was as well.

    I said: Well, at least he isn't dead . . .

    She said: Actually, he is. (And walks away)



    I could have died (sorry, wrong word) on the spot and Mrs Hat's daggered looks finished me off.

    A definite case of and



    I guess Mrs Hat can now kiss good-bye any chance of working for one of the big five . . .

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat

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    Quote Originally Posted by panama hat
    I guess Mrs Hat can now kiss good-bye any chance of working for one of the big five . . .

    Methinks Mr Hat thou should sleep elswhere tonight!!!

  3. #3
    Sprayed On Member
    The Fresh Prince's Avatar
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    Put my foot in it many times before. Here's one of my worst.

    A few years ago at my old office, 2 of the girls took a holiday together and went down to Krabi. When they got back I bounced into the office all happy and asked them if they'ed enjoyed their lazy week on the beach.

    They replied, with very dull looks on their faces:

    "Not really Khun FP, we went down to help clear up the bodies after the Tsunami."

    Felt like a right idiot.

  4. #4
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by panama hat
    She replied that that is what men are good for and added that her husband was as well.
    Bad choice of words on her side.
    She is no longer married.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thetyim View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by panama hat
    She replied that that is what men are good for and added that her husband was as well.
    Bad choice of words on her side.
    She is no longer married.
    My thoughts exactly, and just a stupid thing to say generally. Why did she feel the need to mention her dead husband to a stranger anyway?

    Me thinks that it is her fault Mr. Hat, not yours.

  6. #6
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    if you had just punched her in the face right there and then it would have ensured that your verbal faux pas was immediately forgotten

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moonraker
    Why did she feel the need to mention her dead husband to a stranger anyway? Me thinks that it is her fault Mr. Hat, not yours.
    certainly crossed my mind as well.

    anyway, what can you do, stammer a sorry.

  8. #8
    En route
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    Quote Originally Posted by baldrick View Post
    if you had just punched her in the face right there and then it would have ensured that your verbal faux pas was immediately forgotten
    There ya go, always thinking.

  9. #9
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly
    anyway, what can you do, stammer a sorry.
    Why stammer ?

    Look her straught in the eye and ask "Did you use poison or a knife?"

  10. #10
    watterinja
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    ^

  11. #11
    Hansum Man! panama hat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Fresh Prince
    "Not really Khun FP, we went down to help clear up the bodies after the Tsunami."
    Oh dear . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by Thetyim
    Bad choice of words on her side.
    In retrospect you're right . . . still makes me feel like a heel

    Quote Originally Posted by Moonraker
    Me thinks that it is her fault Mr. Hat, not yours.
    Thank you, Moonraker!

    Quote Originally Posted by baldrick
    if you had just punched her in the face right there and then it would have ensured that your verbal faux pas was immediately forgotten
    Didn't occur to me at the time but you do have apoint.

    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly
    anyway, what can you do, stammer a sorry.
    Didn't have the chance at the time

    Quote Originally Posted by Thetyim
    Look her straught in the eye and ask "Did you use poison or a knife?"
    Hmm . . . I must be a bit on the slow side . . . Damn, PH, up your game, boy!


    My wife actually asked her to join us for lunch in a nice Lebanese restaurant across the road from the Marriott . . . she was very nice, said not to worry about it . . . and she co-owns a resort on Sandakan and told us we would be welcome to try it out free of charge for a few days . . .

    So, I'm glad I didn't think of the many well-meaning posts here.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by panama hat
    So, I'm glad I didn't think of the many well-meaning posts here.
    you've still got a chance to go back and try it,

    "DO you remember how i asked about your deadbeat husband?"

  13. #13
    Eric
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    Worst thing I said when managing a restaurant to a couple of fairly big girls.

    They asked for a recommendation from the menu

    I recommended the salad

  14. #14
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    I was with my wife in the local haberdashery shop. I had only ever previously seen the nice shopkeeper sitting behind the counter but this day she was hobbling around sorting some stock. I asked in my usual casual way "what's wrong with you? Gone in the fetlock?" (a condition usually aflicting horses, but the question is sometimes jokingly asked to someone who appears to have trouble walking, particularly in rural areas).
    She replied "no I was run over by a train and had my foot cut off". My wife who already knew was heading for the door and left me to apologise.

  15. #15
    The cold, wet one
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    Quote Originally Posted by panama hat
    she was very nice, said not to worry about it . .
    Can't for the life of me see why she would be offended or upset by what you said. I wouldn't be if someone said the same to me. So, don't worry about it PH - as she later said.

  16. #16
    Eric
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    ^ would you be upset if I reccomended you a salad NR?

  17. #17
    The cold, wet one
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    ^ No. Probably wouldn't eat it, though.

  18. #18
    Banned

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    That'll teach ya for attempting to foil with the better gender, Hatters.

  19. #19
    Thailand Expat nedwalk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by panama hat
    she co-owns a resort on Sandakan

    mmm dead husband, loaded, don,t spose you got her phone number

  20. #20
    Hansum Man! panama hat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nedwalk
    mmm dead husband, loaded, don,t spose you got her phone number
    Actually Mrs Hat does . . . but wouldn't you like to know how her hubby passed away???

    Quote Originally Posted by Johnny Longprong
    no I was run over by a train and had my foot cut off
    Fark!

    Quote Originally Posted by November Rain
    So, don't worry about it PH - as she later said.
    Yea, thanks NR

    Quote Originally Posted by Rural Surin
    That'll teach ya for attempting to foil with the better gender, Hatters
    I shall forever more live solely in the company of men. Umm, on second thought . . .


    So, turns out this lady has worked in Somalia and Haiti for several aid organisations, can't be arsed about religion nor politics and likes to maintain her eco-lodge and dabble in law . . .

    Here's a good example of one of the very many Muslim women who are actually just . . . women.

  21. #21
    I am in Jail

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    I wouldn't have been offended at all about what you said to her FACE.
    I would however have been offended by your comments on an internet forum where you described her as

    "a very nice Malay lady in her 40s (no, no headscarf or any of the Muslim trappings on her)." (perish the thought that any NICE MUSLIM LADY would put on "trappings")

    The kettle calling the frying pan black?

    what do Nasty Muslim ladies wear? Explosives?

  22. #22
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    ^
    Yes, but they do a great blow job

  23. #23
    Hansum Man! panama hat's Avatar
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    ^ Oh, very good . . . and so fast . . . the witty reply

    ^^ That was to underline to the unwashed few that these people do exist . . .

  24. #24
    I am in Jail

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    Quote Originally Posted by panama hat View Post
    ^ Oh, very good . . . and so fast . . . the witty reply

    ^^ That was to underline to the unwashed few that these people do exist . . .
    Come on...I was being a twat!
    But you see what I mean about how you can make mountains out of molehills?
    I know what you meant, but it could be distorted, as could some of my responses!
    No offense meant, but you see how a twat can turn things around!

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missismiggins View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by panama hat View Post
    ^ Oh, very good . . . and so fast . . . the witty reply

    ^^ That was to underline to the unwashed few that these people do exist . . .
    Come on...I was being a twat!
    But you see what I mean about how you can make mountains out of molehills?
    I know what you meant, but it could be distorted, as could some of my responses!
    No offense meant, but you see how a twat can turn things around!
    Seems there is a fine line here Miggins. Becoming rather numbing for us, when we can't decipher between your lucidly candid humour and your balls-to-the-wall serious directives.....

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