Thread: What kind of pirate would you be.

So I am sat here at work bored senseless, doing the same old thing that I was doing last year which just happens to be the same old thing that I'll likely be doing next year.

Sod that, I want to be a pirate. I think I'd be a good pirate, as in good hearted but a tad cheeky. I'd deliberately wind up authority figures, just for the sake of it. I'd have a monkey, not a parrot but a monkey. I'm not sure about the rum bit, I think I'd be more of an ale drinking pirate. I'd definitely be a clean shaven pirate because beards get itchy and look stupid. Also no eye patches, after all I have two perfectly good eyes.

I'm bored, humour me.

I want to be a swashbuckling, three legged pirate with an all female crew

I'm liking the all female crew idea!

Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they just arrrrgggghhhh.

I'd like to be a copyright pirate, mostly working with porno DVDs.

I am going with Thetyim and I will only be a white pirate. to many black ones now in somalia and they be giving us swashbuckler Errol Flynn types a bad name. coarse I hear he did have a thing for 17 year old ladies.

Originally Posted by blackgang

I am going with Thetyim

You cant unless there's something your not telling us bg. He's taking a female only crew.

^ he might be able to take BGs leg though

A young man is captured by pirates and is persuaded to join the crew rather than walk the plank. After a few weeks at sea the captain speaks to the man and asks him how he is getting on. The man replies that on the whole he is enjoying things - the rum-soaked drinking binges, the plundering, etc - but there was one thing missing.

"What's that?" asks the captain.
"Well, there are no women" replies the man.

"Arrr" says the captain "Follow me!" The man follows the captain to what appears to be a barrel, on top of the barrel stands a coconut with a face drawn on and a few strands of wispy straw for hair. On the barrel is a crude outline of a woman's body and between the legs is a bung hole. "We calls her Carmen," says the captain, "and you may take her as you will". The man explains that he was unlikely to make use of her and goes on his way.

However, as the months go by with no respite, Carmen appears more and more attractive to the young man. Finally he can resist her no longer and the man has his wicked way with Carmen the rum barrel. To his amazement the experience is far more satisfying than he could ever have imagined!

The next day the captain greets him again. "How did you get on with Carmen then, lad?" he asks eagerly. The man replies "Rather better than I thought... actually, it was rather good!"

"Good," says the captain, a great beaming smile splitting his black-bearded face. "It's your turn in the barrel tomorrow!"

LOL! Out of greens.

A British MP, AARRHH JIM LAD

Originally Posted by The Fresh Prince

You cant unless there's something your not telling us bg. He's taking a female only crew

Can't do that, got to have a cook for Christs sakes,, women are not qualified for cooking good food, fuck it, ya want to eat that shit might as well stay ashore.

I think blackgang would be a poop pipe pirate.

Originally Posted by English Noodles

think blackgang would be a poop pipe pirate.

Maybe a BRIGAND, MOUNT THE MAIN MAST!!

Seaman Staines, Master Bates or Roger the Cabin Boy

The Cabin Boy, The Cabin Boy
The Bloody little nipper
We lined his ass with broken glass
And circumsized the skipper

twas on the good ship 'venus' by christ you should have seen us..

i,d be cvnt of a pirate

I'd have a happy crew, we'd all wear tights and have moustaches and hold hands and stuff.

The SS Scampy Movie

TWO YEARS BEFORE THE MAST...



or
24 months on a Greek Vasoline tanker...55555

I'd be a modern pirate: Politician or Corporate CEO or Lawyer or Monarch.

^ What do these modern pirates look like?

I'd be a female, maverick pirate. Something like that.

Originally Posted by Thetyim

The SS Scampy Movie

He's going a little limp.

^ Joking ain't yer. That's me with a steaming hardon at best.