Especially for CMN

**kingwilly** · 13-06-2006, 10:00 AM

Originally Posted by NickA

Nice to see the Americans lose, they were proper shit as well.

well - that was just icing on the cake ....

**ChiangMai noon** · 13-06-2006, 10:02 AM

My virtual money was on the Cechs before the start and I see no reason to change my mind.
I believe I will become virtually rich by the end of this competition.

**kingwilly** · 13-06-2006, 10:05 AM

Originally Posted by ozman

By the way, its not very nice of you lot to hijack Smeg's thread like this, but hey, who cares!!!!

what ? huh ? oh .......

sorry smeg

Originally Posted by Smeg

I've put together a membership contract for you to submit to DD, which should help to ensure that the forum is more your kinda place!

MEMBERSHIP AGREEMENT

The following rules and conditions must be agreed to before joining TeakDoor

Members will be classified accordingly:

Group one - Members who unreservingly love Thailand, it's people and its culture, or members who have zero or negative affection for their native country, people and culture and thus have a default preference for Thailand will hereinafter referred to as "normal members"

Group two - Members who indicate that they prefer their native country, people, or culture, members who are in Thailand for any other reason than as stated in group one, or members who use the forum to raise and discuss criticisms, concerns, or problem issues will hereinafter be referred to as "nasty, mean hateful little fuks"

Nasty, mean hateful little fuks are hereby warned that such extremism and evil will not be tolerated on the forum under any circumstances. The forum has a strict no ban policy, and thus normal members will rigidly stalk and flame all offending posts, and use whatever attacks and insults as are deemed necessary to force the traitor to self terminate their membership.

TD Admin

but what if i properly fit into either category (notwithstanding the clause of "members who are in Thailand for any other reason than as stated in group one" cos that is a bit of a catch all)

can u make a third category ? tell me where i fit!

**kingwilly** · 13-06-2006, 10:06 AM

Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon

My virtual money was on the Cechs before the start and I see no reason to change my mind.
I believe I will become virtually rich by the end of this competition.

and then you can shout us all virtual rounds of beer!

**ChiangMai noon** · 13-06-2006, 10:08 AM

I think you have been put squarely in category one with the rest of us loser Thaiophiles KingWilly.
Don't deny it, you will be wasting your breath.

We love Thailand and hate our country of birth.
It is true, for Smeg has passed judgment.

**lom** · 13-06-2006, 10:15 AM

Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon

My virtual money was on the Cechs before the start

Has the hockey season started already ?

**ChiangMai noon** · 13-06-2006, 10:17 AM

Please refrain from taking this thread away from the original topic LOM.

**lom** · 13-06-2006, 10:22 AM

But the original topic was just another Smeg rant..
Ok, over to you Poolie

**ChiangMai noon** · 13-06-2006, 10:26 AM

Actually, the OP was quite witty and was a reply to my calling him a nasty mean hateful little fuk.
He feels it was not a fair representation of himself and the good he stands for.

**kingwilly** · 13-06-2006, 12:04 PM

Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon

Actually, the OP was quite witty and was a reply to my calling him a nasty mean hateful little fuk.
He feels it was not a fair representation of himself and the good he stands for.

he does stand for good ... in fact is superman ... or indeed supersmeg!

**DrAndy** · 13-06-2006, 12:45 PM

[quote=ChiangMai noon]Actually, the OP was quite witty and was a reply to my calling him a nasty mean hateful little fuk.
quote]

that was hardly fair CMN, I always like a fuk

**NickA** · 13-06-2006, 01:39 PM

Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon

the Cechs

Do you have a problem with this country? Yesterday it was the Chechs, today it's the Cechs, tomorrow it will be siec I guess!

**poolcleaner** · 13-06-2006, 01:48 PM

Originally Posted by lom

But the original topic was just another Smeg rant..
Ok, over to you Poolie

Thanks lom.

Yep, another rather amusing thread by Smeg.

Clever step-over by CMN to steer the thread onto football.
I suppose i should pick him up on the uneccessary swipe at our beloved hosts.
The king's celebrations deserve precedence over some poxy pretend football team.

Anyone who really gave a fuk was in a decent bar being charged for other people's drinks!

**Smeg** · 13-06-2006, 03:19 PM

As you may know, I'm a bit of a fitness freak, and go to the gym every day. There are some cool likeminded people there to talk to, but recently this fat bloke has been there too, puffing away and pulling agonising faces. I decided to have it out with him:

ME: Not enjoying yourself?

FAT BLOKE: Well, there are some fit women to look at, but nah, its pretty painful, and to be honest I'd much rather be down the pub!

ME: So why don't you go down the pub?

FAT BLOKE: Been drinking for years, and love it, but I was getting well lardy so I thought it was time to spend some time at the gym to get back in shape. I'm gonna keep coming til I've lost 10kg then I can go back to enjoying my beer again.

ME: I haven't been to a bar for years; fucking expensive boring places, bars. Exercise is way better.

FAT BLOKE: I can't see it myself, but I'm here now so I'll grin and bear it

ME: You must be mad! Doing something you don't like much. And you aren't grinning, are ya, you are pulling all those faces and really putting me and my mates off our exericising.

FAT BLOKE: Yeah well pulling faces helps me cope with this exercise stuff. Just don't look at me and get on with your exercises or talk to your mates over there.

ME: We can't ignore you! You are in our gym with your fucking fat carcass and pulling all those faces just trying to bring us down and make us think that exercising is painful. Hey, guys, this fat bloke thinks that exercising is painful!!

GUYS: Silly fat fucker. Fuck off down the pub where you belong!

FAT BLOKE: Call me what you want. I'm gonna stay here and do what I came here to do, pain or no pain.

ME: What are you doing here if you don't like exercise?

FAT BLOKE: I've already told you

ME: So what are you doing here if you don't like exercise?

FAT BLOKE: For fucks sake, are you thick? Not everyone is like you.

ME: You are just a nasty mean hateful little fuk!

GUYS: Yeah, stupid fat fuk!

That told the cnut. I don't think he'll be back soon.

**cantona** · 13-06-2006, 03:22 PM

Imaginary 'fat bloke', Smeg?
Imaginary 'Guys', Smeg?
Imaginary 'gym', Smeg?
MEDICATION.......AHHHHH!!!!

**ChiangMai noon** · 13-06-2006, 03:24 PM

god post Smeg, but slightly wasted in a thread about football.

**cantona** · 13-06-2006, 03:26 PM

Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon

god post Smeg, but slightly wasted in a thread about football.

Yeah Smeg, on topic, football please you tosser

**hillbilly** · 13-06-2006, 03:44 PM

Perhaps now, we kan understand where Smeg and DJ Pat are coming from...

**mrsquirrel** · 13-06-2006, 04:43 PM

Is the one on the right an old Elonex 386 DX?

**Torbek** · 13-06-2006, 04:51 PM

Originally Posted by Smeg

ME: So what are you doing here if you don't like exercise?

FAT BLOKE: For fucks sake, are you thick? Not everyone is like you.

ME: You are just a nasty mean hateful little fuk!

GUYS: Yeah, stupid fat fuk!

Nice simile. Few holes in it, but let's not be pedantic.

Unfortunately as transparent as the simile may appear to many, it will still be missed by some readers... (already has been, actually

)

**NickA** · 13-06-2006, 05:24 PM

I don't think it's a simile - it's an analorgy, isn't it?

Who's up for an anal orgy then, that'll make you smilie and no joke!!!

**Torbek** · 13-06-2006, 07:26 PM

Originally Posted by NickA

I don't think it's a simile - it's an analorgy, isn't it?

Who's up for an anal orgy then, that'll make you smilie and no joke!!!

Quite.

I always screw up similies & analogies. When I typed the post, I thought the word I was looking for was 'analogy' so, knowing I was no doubt wrong, I typed 'simile'.

**Smeg** · 13-06-2006, 10:28 PM

I've just finished another three hour workout. The fat bloke was there again tonight. I can't believe that he hasnt got the message, that people who express themselves like that aren't welcome at the gym.
Anyway, I tried to ignore him, but then I overheard:

FAT BLOKE: Argh! My arm! This fucking machine is broken!

Now, the machines are a bit old and manky, but I was having none of it, so I walked over to him.

ME: There is nothing wrong with the machine! It must be you! What the hell are you doing here again!?

FAT BLOKE: This damn machine siezed on me. I bet nobody has maintained it.

ME: Its not a "damn machine"! These machines are an important part of my and my friends lives, I'll have you know, so we all take your criticism as a personal insult, you ****!

I've had enough of this fat **** insulting our gym. If I see him here again, I'm gonna give him nonstop grief.

**NickA** · 13-06-2006, 10:35 PM

Good idea, get rid of the fat ****!

Wait a minute, in the analorgy, aren't you the fat ****!!!

**NickA** · 13-06-2006, 10:35 PM

Thread: Especially for CMN

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