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  1. #1
    Thailand Expat
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    British and Proud

    BRITISH & PROUD


    Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
    Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
    Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch
    American shows on a Japanese TV.

    And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.



    Oh and......



    -Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an
    ambulance.



    -Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way
    to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people
    can buy cigarettes at the front.



    -Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries
    and a DIET coke.



    -Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens
    to the counters.

    -Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
    drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

    -Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and
    then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't
    want to talk to in the first place.

    -Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a
    skating rink.

    NOT TO MENTION...

    3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

    142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

    58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
    screwdrivers.

    31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while
    the fairy lights were plugged in.

    19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
    decorations were chocolate.

    British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker
    pulling accidents.

    101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out
    of the soles of their feet.

    18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
    cigarette in their mouth.

    A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
    opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

    5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control
    Scalextric cars.

    and finally.........



    In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
    toilet.



    I am proud to be British

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by
    3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
    urban myth me suspects.

  3. #3
    I am in Jail
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    I love these anglophobe threads. Really, I do

    Quote Originally Posted by rancid anglophobe
    And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.

    -Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an
    ambulance.
    Hang on. These two sum up here, don't they?

  4. #4
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    Little Chuchok's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smeg
    I love these anglophobe threads. Really, I do

    Quote Originally Posted by rancid anglophobe
    And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.

    -Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an
    ambulance.
    Hang on. These two sum up here, don't they?
    Well the pizza joke is an old American one.I mean, they have taught the world about fast food service...

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smeg
    I love these anglophobe threads. Really, I do
    (Cantona waits for Smeg's "anglophobe" thread to start - waits for pat to log off first)

  6. #6
    I am in Jail

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    Nice reminder as to why I left the place........

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Professorfart
    Nice reminder as to why I left the place........
    exactly

  8. #8
    Head Skivvie Stacker Storekeeper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smeg
    I love these anglophobe threads.
    Most of them are started by posters with UK passports.

  9. #9
    There once upon a time...
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    Pretty sure I've read the same list but with USA substituted for Britain.

    But I think you could slot in many other countries with equal ease.

  10. #10
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    Fuck knows why you would drink Belgian beer though when English beer is the best in the world.

  11. #11
    Aspiring Guru
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    Quote Originally Posted by Torbek
    Pretty sure I've read the same list but with USA substituted for Britain.

    But I think you could slot in many other countries with equal ease.
    I seriously doubt that Bangladesh would fit into that!

    They've never heard of scalectrix cars, jumpers, pizas and anything to do with Xmas.

    No, that's definitely a UK list.

  12. #12
    There once upon a time...
    Torbek's Avatar
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    What? Are Bangladesh and Britain the only two fuckin' countries you know?

    USA, Australia, Canada, New Zealand, South Africa, and probably most of western Europe could fit the bill...

    Shit..even Thailand slots rights in...

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Torbek
    What? Are Bangladesh and Britain the only two fuckin' countries you know?

    USA, Australia, Canada, New Zealand, South Africa, and probably most of western Europe could fit the bill...

    Shit..even Thailand slots rights in...
    What's Canada?



    Actually my point was that your point was really a rather pointless point that added little to the thread.

    So what if it could be transposed to another 89 countries around the world and still apply?

    It's just a joke.....y'know? a larf?

    Grumpy ol' cnut.
    You need a holiday!

  14. #14
    Head Skivvie Stacker Storekeeper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
    Fuck knows why you would drink Belgian beer though when English beer is the best in the world.
    I'm starting to wonder about you Marmite. Do you ever think about anything other than beer, beer, beer, poontang, beer, beer, rugby, beer, beer, ?

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
    Fuck knows why you would drink Belgian beer though when English beer is the best in the world.
    Since when?

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Storekeeper
    Quote Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
    Fuck knows why you would drink Belgian beer though when English beer is the best in the world.
    I'm starting to wonder about you Marmite. Do you ever think about anything other than beer, beer, beer, poontang, beer, beer, rugby, beer, beer, ?
    Of course! There's sport too!

  17. #17
    befuddled
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    I short walk through any British shopping centre will soon reinforce any prejudices you may hold. It really is a nation of donuts, and unless it's my magination it's getting worse.

  18. #18
    I am in Jail
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    One can't help but feel sorry for Cantona. He clearly hates his country of birth, and spends time looking on the internet for new reasons to hate it.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smeg
    One can't help but feel sorry for Cantona. He clearly hates his country of birth, and spends time looking on the internet for new reasons to hate it.
    Is Britain a country?

  20. #20
    befuddled
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    I don't think that you have to hate it to admit to it's foibles - and they just can't be denied.....There's an awful lot of people who start sentences with, 'The thing is right,'.....and these are news-readers on the BBC.

  21. #21
    I am in Jail
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    Quote Originally Posted by danbo
    I don't think that you have to hate it to admit to it's foibles - and they just can't be denied.....There's an awful lot of people who start sentences with, 'The thing is right,'.....and these are news-readers on the BBC.
    I expect everybody in the world sees quirks in their home country, but not many leave because of them.

    I'd hate to not be proud of my country.
    Last edited by Smeg; 31-05-2006 at 02:13 PM.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smeg
    I'd hate to not be proud of my country.
    Which country, Britain?

  23. #23
    I am in Jail
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  24. #24
    Thailand Expat
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    So England, Scotland, Wales and N. Ireland are counties then Smeg? You amaze me. I'd better start writing my letter to Santa so he gets it in time from the county of Thailand in the country of South East Asia.

  25. #25
    I am in Jail
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    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Britain

    The word Britain (from Latin Britannia) is an informal term used (for brevity or convenience) when referring to;

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